Dovani Radio Network

Organisations involving national governments as members.

Dovani Radio Network

Postby matthew914 » Mon Nov 16, 2009 2:14 am

DOVANI RADIO NETWORK
Thank you for tuning into the inaugural broadcast of the Dovani Radio Network. We pledge to bring to you unfair and unbalanced opinions from unmedicated commentators. We start off our journey with a man who is sure to rock our socks off tonight, with his blunt commentary on the political situation inside Hulstria and across Dovani and his hip, cutting edge music. Here is the Johnny Kirk Hour, here on the Dovani Radio Network.

THE JOHNNY KIRK HOUR

Johnny Kirk Hour Theme Song
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHKvruzbWl4

Thank you for tuning into the inaugural broadcast of the Johnny Kirk Hour, here on the Dovani Radio Network. I am, of course, Johnny Kirk. I come to you tonight from Kien, the beautiful capital of Hulstria. And boy what a night to be in Kien. The Socialist Party of Greater Hulstria is once again laying the smackdown on those ladies at the Christian Liberal Alliance. Dear lord, what a bunch of cry babies they are. The Socialist back out of an alliance sixty years ago and they are still crying on about it. *cough*losers*cough* Excuse me, I am just getting over the flu, and my throat just ain't working for me tonight. Anyways, now the CLA is leading an effort to prevent an increase in funding for our boys in the military. Considering the recent threats made to Hulstria from the genocidal regime in Indrala, this is completely irresponsible. If war breaks out, our boys will not have the resources to protect this nation from those crazies down there. If we were to lose a war, I think that sole responsibility for it would rest with the leadership of the Christian Liberals.

Now, I know you are asking yourself, why are the Christian Liberals, specifically party leader Klara Schoonraad-Tsutano, so angry at the SPGH? I think the answer is that they are simply jealous. I mean, who wouldn't be jealous of the SPGH. Seriously, the leaders of the SPGH command great respect, have enourmous popularity and loyalty, and, from what I hear, enormous dongs. Not just any dongs, thick, juicy dongs that can only be measured with a yard stick. Even I am jealous of them. But cheer up, men, I have something that will cure the doldrums:

Here is a moment of pure joy for you:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ry79LzkkDb4

Well, I am sorry, but I have to cut the show short today, in order to make way for the premiere of Crack House with Michael Longdong. So, until next time I am Johnny Kirk, saying good night.

Theme
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHKvruzbWl4
User avatar
matthew914
 
Posts: 135
Joined: Sat Jun 27, 2009 1:58 am
Location: Boston

Re: Dovani Radio Network

Postby matthew914 » Tue Nov 17, 2009 2:47 am

We now continue our broadcast with the inaugural installment of Crack House with Michael Longdong, here on the Dovani Radio Network.

Crack House with Michael Longdong

Theme Song
http://play.napster.com/track/30073566

Hey, y'all, welcome to the Crack House. I am Michael Longdong. Well, where shall we start.

As most of you may well know, there is currently a critical shortage of hand lotion in Dovani right now. No matter how much the factories crank up production, it just seems that that particular shelf in the drugstore is always barren. Well, since the Socialists always have women under their sheets, we must ask who needs to resort to calling their left hand their lover? Well, I think it is probably the leaders of the Christian Liberal Alliance. Poor fellas, rumour has it, or at least the rumours we spread around the newsroom, that they have have gone so long without a sexual encounter that they if they were to see muff they would drop dead from the shock of seeing the promise land. If you went that long without a good bj you would be using the world's entire supply of Jergins as well.

Alright, it's time for a little music break, and we decided it was appropriate to dedicate a song to those lonely leaders out there:
http://play.napster.com/track/30073582

Alright, we are back, and it's time for a new segment. We will be taking some callers, and asking them a simple question, and they will say what they think is the answer. This one regards Klara Schoonraad-Tsutano, the Leader of the Christian Liberal Alliance, who is probably a bi-curious, genderbending virgin. Again, thats only what we've heard around the station, so its not necessarily true. We're NOT saying that is what she is, or what she does. It's not like we're hijacking a character on an online, political role-playing game or anything. But anyways, today's question is "What do you think Klara would do for a Klondike bar?"

Caller #1, you are on the air.

Hi Mike, love your show. I think that Klara would suck a dozen dongs for a klondike bar.

Good answer, but we were looking for something a little more explicit. Caller #2, you are on the air.

Yo Mike, you da bomb, man!

Thanks dawg. So what do you think Klara would do for a Klondike bar?

Hey man, I think she would find a homeless man on the subway, then [expletive], [expletive], [expletive], then hang him upside down and [expletive, expletive, expletive]. I think thats what she would do for a Klondike bar.

Well, you certainly fulfilled the requirements. Thanks for the call. Ok, we have time for only one more caller. Caller #3, you're on the air.

Michael, I would just like to say that the repulsive way you and the rest of your goons are treating the Christian Liberal Allia.....

BOOM!

Man, I love that button. Ok, thats all the time we have for today. We'll see you again next week. This is Michael Longdong, saying stay classy, Kien.

Closing Theme
http://play.napster.com/track/29986973
User avatar
matthew914
 
Posts: 135
Joined: Sat Jun 27, 2009 1:58 am
Location: Boston

Re: Dovani Radio Network

Postby matthew914 » Wed Nov 18, 2009 3:48 am

And now, we continue with another fine episode of Crack House with Michael Longdong, here on the Dovani Radio Network: Unfair, unbalanced and unmedicated.

CRACK HOUSE WITH MICHAEL LONGDONG

Theme
http://play.napster.com/track/30073566

Thanks for joining us, this is Crack House. I am Michael Longdong. Well, I have a special treat for you guys. We are introducing a few new features for you guys. First, I would like to introduce you to my new cohost, Hobo Joe. Say hi Hobo Joe. Joe... Joe... uh, I am sure he'll wake up before the hour ends. Anyways, we have what I think is our best segment yet. It's time to play Guess her Muff.

Theme
http://play.napster.com/track/29960093

Ok, here's how it works, we'll bring a lovely young women into the studio, and you call up and guess if she is a wild jungle, mowed like a front lawn, or as smooth as an airport tarmac. If you get it right, you will get the grand prize. Joe, tell them what.... oh, never mind. Today, we have a very special young lady coming to do this for us. Her name is Klara Schoonraad-Tsutano, and she is the leader of the Christian Liberal Alliance. Ok, so its not really her, but I think we found a stand in who is remarkably similiar to Klara, at least in our opinions. Her name is Dolly. For those who are online, we have a video on our website of Dolly in a recent talent show.

Here's Miss Dolly
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ozU4Kcv ... re=related

Say hello Dolly.

Hello Dolly.

Ok, so Caller #1, guess her muff.

Yo Longdong, love your show.

Thank you.

Ok, I'm gonna go with the tarmac.

Ok, so caller #1 says tarmac. Caller #2, what do you think.

I have to say she is a jungle.

Ok, jungle says caller #2. Caller #3, guess her muff.

You people are gross, despicable, and you should be taken off the ai........

BOOM

Still loving that button. Caller #4, guess her muff.

Thanks, I have to say she is trimmed.

Ok, so we have one of each, with one caller dying in a horrific explosion. Ok, Dolly, show us your muff.

Oh dear lord... she's....she's...

[Hobo Joe] Why is there a naked man in our studio?

I don't know, you were suppose to screen her.... I mean him. Boy, you do have an aweful lot of moles. Anyways, she is a.....JUNGLE.

http://play.napster.com/track/10004926

Caller #2, you win the grand prize. Congrats, you will recieve a gift certificate for one free buffet at the Golden Banana strip club on Route 1. Enjoy the show and the wings. Thats all the time we have for today folks. So, until next time, this is Michael Longdong, saying stay classy Kien.

Closing Theme
http://play.napster.com/track/29986973
User avatar
matthew914
 
Posts: 135
Joined: Sat Jun 27, 2009 1:58 am
Location: Boston

Re: Dovani Radio Network

Postby Khaler » Wed Nov 18, 2009 1:21 pm

OOC: This is great, but just a tip: Napster does not work outside US. :?
Be on your OLD GUARD, stand firm in the faith!
-1 Selucians 16:13
Khaler
 
Posts: 688
Joined: Mon Apr 06, 2009 4:19 pm
Location: Great Democratic Republic of Khaleristan, a member of the caring and loving Russian Federation!

Re: Dovani Radio Network

Postby matthew914 » Wed Nov 18, 2009 5:08 pm

OOC: Sorry, I forgot about that. I will try to keep that in mind in the future.
User avatar
matthew914
 
Posts: 135
Joined: Sat Jun 27, 2009 1:58 am
Location: Boston

Re: Dovani Radio Network

Postby matthew914 » Sun May 30, 2010 2:57 pm

And now we end our broadcast day with the inaugural episode of Hodown with Kevin Olderman, here on Dovani Radio Network. Unfair, Unbalanced, Unmedicated.


HoDown with Kevin Olderman


Theme
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yUrZ7upfvq8

Hey guys, welcome to HoDown. I am Kevin Olderman. Thanks for tuning into my new show. Here, we will countdown a list of the biggest ho's and bitches on Terra. And, as is this networks trademark, we will do it in a very respectful and classy way. (said with obvious sarcasm)

Our first big ho of the week is Cyril Atanas. Now, Cybil....I mean, Cyril.... is the Director-General of Zardugal, and she.... I mean, HE........ certainly makes his nation proud to have such a leader. I mean, why wouldn't a nation be proud to have someone who is so closed minded, ignorant, arrogant, and oblivious to reality. We can all stand up and salute all that Miss.... I mean, mister......Atanas has done for peace. Sure, he failed to do anything to prevent a terrorist attack against innocent civilians and, in our opinions, has shown complete disregard for the well being of the Rutanian people, who are allies of Zardugal, but hey, who could help but love a man like that. We would be happy to have him as our ho any day.

Our second big ho of the week is Erik Bauer-Chamberlain, the Governor-General of Greater Hulstria. Now, you may be asking yourself why would we honor a man who has so far refused to return to Rutania what rightfully belongs to Rutanians? Well, I say to you that we honor those with large sets of balls. I mean, you have to have a big set to represent a nation that bullied a smaller nation into surrendering the engine of its economy, and then humiliating that country non-stop for almost a quarter century. It takes a real set of cojones to continue to do something that is obviously not right, and to continue to bully Hulstria's much smaller neighbors. So, Erik Bauer-Chamberlain, we salute you and your muttern. Good Luck Good Sir.

Oh dear, it looks like we have already run out of time. We thank you for joining us, in this, the forty-first year since Rutania was forced to surrender the Bauer Canal. We sincerely hope that you join us next time, as we count down the ho's next week. Until then, I am Kevin Olderman.

Stay Classy Dovani.
User avatar
matthew914
 
Posts: 135
Joined: Sat Jun 27, 2009 1:58 am
Location: Boston


Return to Intergovernmental Organizations

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 12 guests