Jelbék Bank of the World

[Zanz]

Hello!

It is great to enjoy your company! As we are saying in Jelbania, "brjogah tabetjogah yrzy!" Do you like the foods? It is our finest sheeps.

We are becoming aware recently of other banking groups who are stealing the moneys from their clients just because their clients are a bit irregular.

We are thinking that this is not great business model and so are happy to extend the hospitality of the Jelbék to many in the world.

So for low, low price of 1% per deposit or withdrawal you can do your money sitting with us now! We will never, ever take it, you can use it to kill your mother, we don't give shits!

We will put in deep bunker we dig in middle of nowhere in steppe. It is place we keep many horses for many years and nobody is stealing any of them. We have the tip-top in security and identification measures - all our eyes are watching this place very closely all the years, because we cannot lose too many more horses!

As we are saying in Jelbania, "Frnd orzy grzojozuo zsijojek!"

Account / Balance (JBotW profit)
Mr. Lewis Unlucky Number / one small, vacuumed-over, dirty, moldy penny & 990 long, gun-shaped boxes, certainly not guns (10 guns that came out of boxes unlike the ones mentioned previous)
Mr. Alan Warshaw (A very Yeudis business man who is none of your business) / 999,000,000 LOD (1,000,000 LOD taken for grains, mostly)
Mr. Tyler Hotel Chain / 252,450,000 LOD (2,550,000 LOD taken, also for grains, we are promising)
Mr. Heracles Planet Name / 360 organic machines (40 taken, and half of all new birthed organic machines to be taken)
Mr. Kyle Jenkins the Twenty Seventh / 24,106,500,000 LOD (243,500,000 LOD taken)
Mr. Complicated Name / One giant piles of money (Nothing taken, weird, very hush hush)

[Javawolf]

You do realize the ITB doesn't charge for it's services right? And how is illegal activity with regards to international law an "irregular" business practice? Besides the ITB hasn't seized anyone's accounts and probably won't anytime in the near future.

[RIS]

OOC: Thanks for the defense!

[Zanz]

You do realize the ITB doesn't charge for it's services right? And how is illegal activity with regards to international law an "irregular" business practice? Besides the ITB hasn't seized anyone's accounts and probably won't anytime in the near future.

Hello Mr. Coffee Wolf!

It is very kindness of you to inquiring into our businesses and our many benefits.

We are thinking that doing businesses in beautiful and peaceable Jelbania is benefits enough for many peoples such as yourself, but we are offering also to be very kindness to peoples who snooty-tooty types in other countries are not always kindness to.

We are thinking that many times misunderstandings can lead to moneys being taken from rightful owners and we are thinking this is not good. In Jelbania we are saying "Hello! What a time to be a living! We can helps our friends and neighbors with a kindness and put their moneys in deep bunker where it is safe from peeking eyes or snooty-tooty types!"

Of course we are charging a tiny piece for our excellent kindness. We had to pay lots and lots to dig the holes for the bunkers. It's not like we maked Majatran slaves do it! HA HA HA HA! But we believes in Jelbania that many moneys come from other moneys. Nothing is for free being, Mr. Wolf!

We hope you will consider our kindnesses!

[RIS]

The International Terran Bank has the best security system of any bank in the world. We far out strip our competitors in that regard. We provide the best privacy policy compared to any other bank that follows international law. Our investments are high yield and high security triple A rated investments. We offer many locations in which to access your account and we have no associated fees with regards to our accounts. So while there is minimal oversight, overall the ITB is the superior financial institution. We hope you decide to join us, so that we may both prosper.

Sincerely,

Lewis Holmes
CEO of the International Terran Bank

[Zanz]

Hello everyone!

Are you liking the sheeps? They are very fine.

We are being disappointed by the lack of fundings presented to our bank thus far. Our services are very quality. Just last week we checked and, nope, nothing is missing from bunker.

You may have heard from hoity-toity competitors that they offer you free accountings and premium interests. We are thinking they are very shady in doing so, because how do they afford to builds their own bunker? We hear from reputable peoples slaves is maybe involved? We assure you this is not our business model!

So coming on! Deposits with us. Is very fair and very safes.

[Lewis13]

Those Jelbanian phrases aren't actually real.

[Zanz]

Those Jelbanian phrases aren't actually real.

Mr. Lewis unlucky number,

I am not understanding your meanings. What is Jelbanian phrases?

I am very premiums in speaking Luthoran, I am knowing, but my Jelbék is being of the highest qualities. I am speaking this all my life!

[Lewis13]

Those Jelbanian phrases aren't actually real.

Mr. Lewis unlucky number,

I am not understanding your meanings. What is Jelbanian phrases?

I am very premiums in speaking Luthoran, I am knowing, but my Jelbék is being of the highest qualities. I am speaking this all my life!

The 'Jelbanian' you used, "brjogah tabetjogah yrzy" and "Frnd orzy grzojozuo zsijojek", look like a small mammal/bird tried to dance on a keyboard.

Your Luthoran is not only an insult to all those who speak it, but also to all those who may have their eyes damaged by reading it.

I'll make a deposit of a small, vacuumed-over, dirty, moldy penny .

[Zanz]

Those Jelbanian phrases aren't actually real.

Mr. Lewis unlucky number,

I am not understanding your meanings. What is Jelbanian phrases?

I am very premiums in speaking Luthoran, I am knowing, but my Jelbék is being of the highest qualities. I am speaking this all my life!

The 'Jelbanian' you used, "brjogah tabetjogah yrzy" and "Frnd orzy grzojozuo zsijojek", look like a small mammal/bird tried to dance on a keyboard.

Your Luthoran is not only an insult to all those who speak it, but also to all those who may have their eyes damaged by reading it.

I'll make a deposit of a small, vacuumed-over, dirty, moldy penny .

Mr. Lewis Unlucky Number, you should have been telling me you were being our first customer!

This is happy day for we in Jelbania. We are having many slaughters to honoring you.

You are of course being right, we did having some small chickens problems for some days but they are not having typed too much on our internets we think. We are being sorry in the premium.

Because you are being the first customer we will even give you kindness and letting go of fees on the deposit! HA HA match us now Hutori scums.

We must say that we are feeling your deposits are very mirroring of your home nation's many pleasures. I am not having been to Selucia prior to this date, but I am hearing manys say that it is a charming land with many vacuums. Do your arms grow tired in always turning the cranks to give suction?

Tell me, I am wonderings, no one has yet been answering, are you enjoying the sheeps? We are worried small-ways that perhaps the sheeps were not so good, but Azi Azisrmko is assuring us. I think he is something wolf-sick but who is knowing in these days?

OK! I am off herefore to putting your deposit in bunker! Thanking you thricewise!