Beiteynu

[_nicolo_02]

In a war-torn Beiteynu, people disert the polls
The ruling pro-business lobbyist party was able to secure a slim majority in the Knesset.
May 5473


The Knesset in Yishelem. The lobbyists will rule there for four more years.

YISHELEM, ENDILD - The much anticipated March elections for the Knesset, which analysts and political scientist predicted could have resulted in the collapse of the ruling Hevrat Lobbyist party, saw instead Prime Minister Jacobstone's party retain a very slim majority (76 to 74) in the Knesset, Beiteynu's legislature. One of the reasons the formerly dominanting Labour Party wasn't able to obtain more voters is the extremely low turnout: only 15.5% voted, mainly because much of its base hoped for a less war-hawk behavior in wake of the Beiteynuese-Lourennais war, which wasn't the case for MH. Immediately after the results were announced, several MH members asked the resignation of PM Jacobstone, unlikely to arrive, as well as the resignation of some of the most hawkish Labour ministers, like MOD Saltzman, FM Epstein and a couple more, as opposed by the now vocally pacifist approach of MOIA Peres and MOJ Montefiore; in all of this, the Leader Aristocrat-Goldbloom has tried to maintain a balanced approach in order to satisy everyone - but the election result shows clearly that there was much disappointment anyways.

We asked MOJ Montefiore for a comment:

It is disgraceful. We all supported this cabinet in the war efforts, but when it was clear we were not going to win, different decisions should have been taken. PM Jacobstone alongside some members of my party should assume responsibility for this and resign.

To which the hawkish Saltzman replied:

The rats are jumping off the boat I see. Make no mistake: these supposedly pacifist Ministers did nothing concrete on their end to resolve the conflict. They just let me and the PM take the blame.

MH is clearly experiencing internal distress, and we'll see what the leader of the party, which after all secured the trust of half the voting population, will decide on the future of the party. Many pundits are expecting mass sackings of the most radical ministers on either side, and a centrist rebranding, while others suggest the most radical pacifist wing will take over the MH. On the other side, it is not clear either what's going to happen to the HL; true that Jacobstone and friends have just been re-elected, but the low turnout means something also for them: that the country was distressed against lobbyists too - what will happen to them?

[GreekIdiot]

Humperdinck Media Group (Luthori)
הפוסט ירושלים | The Yishelem Post
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BREAKING: Rosh HaMemshala confirms ceasefire and surrender with Eroncourt
May 5473

Yishelem, Beiteynu - Following the devastating blow to the Kasari CSG in northeast Majatra and the Prime Minister's previous calls for immediate ceasefire with Lourenne, the Luthorian-Yeudi Rosh HaMemshala has confirmed its execution, including a surrender of Beiteynu and Majatra.

"Neither side wants to prolong this war, considering its spillover implications", he said, adding, "the war will destroy us both if we continue".

The entire Beiteynuese Government is scrambling to ascertain the situation, while Yeshua Shavit has assumed the position of Emergency Secretary-General of the MSCO, following Badara's resignation; it is the hope of Beiteynuese representation that efforts will be coordinated in the aftermath of the war with Lourenne.

Both fronts - Sea of Lost Souls and South Ocean - have placed a ceasefire in effect.

[GreekIdiot]

Humperdinck Media Group (Luthori)
הפוסט ירושלים | The Yishelem Post
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Kundratijan embassy ablaze; personnel evacuated safely
June 5473



Yishelem, Beiteynu - Despite the perimeter already established after protesters started mixing eggs with molotovs, the Beiteynuese Police was eventually overrun by a violent crowd, clashing in the streets around the embassy for hours. The complex was ultimately engulfed in fire, rendered completely inoperable.

Kundratijan diplomats and embassy staff were evacuated to the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, with minimum burns and bruises.

Deputy Head of the Medinat Department Ilion Yanorit made the following statement:

While we understand the anger of the Yeudi People, the Beiteynuese Government stands unwavering in its position of securing the safety and diplomatic immunity of any diplomat, from anywhere, at any time and under any circumstances. We have always done this and we will always do it.

The Beiteynuese Police will be working with the Agafim to search and find the culprits of this incident.

In response to President Petralanda's past statement, he said:

[prolonged silence of 17 seconds]

I'm not much of a poet, but;

What about our hearts, Mr. President.

Of your unspeakable actions.

What about our hearts.

[stares at the floor for 4 seconds]

[GreekIdiot]

Humperdinck Media Group (Luthori)
הפוסט ירושלים | The Yishelem Post
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BREAKING: Lekavot (Hope) Fleet intercepts withdrawing Kundratijan forces
July 5473

Himmelshtern, Beiteynu - The Beiteynuese Naval Command has released a statement confirming the rumours that Admiral Isaac Shteman has broken military doctrines and policies and disobeyed orders by retasking the entire Lekavot Fleet to intercept Kundratijan forces, which were withdrawing to Kundrati. Remarkably, the Admiral managed to convince all the captains of more than 20 vessels in the fleet to follow him and "avenge" the destruction of the Kasari CSG.

In the ensuing "fire at will" battle, despite taking damages itself, the Lekavot Fleet continued relentlessly, damaging several warships of the Kundratijan navy, before the Tafsik CSG caught up with the formation and demanded that the Admiral surrender, granting safe passage to Kundrati to return home.

Early reports indicate a ferocity amongst naval officers that the Beiteynuese navy has "never seen before", attributing the Admiral's and the fleet's determination to completely abandon orders - and attack Kundrati in the middle of the Artanian Sea - to the "despair and devastation" from Kundrati's attack on the Yeudi People.

The Naval Chief confirmed that no such order was given and it is presumed that the Admiral and all of the fleet's captains will face extensive charges.

Social media has been bursting with activity since this morning, calling the men of the Lekavot Fleet "heroes".

[alaskancrabpuffs21]

Detained Yeudi Citizens Return Home after Intelligence Mix up in Dolgava. Dolgavan Ambassador to Beiteynu Apologizes!

[GreekIdiot]

Humperdinck Media Group (Luthori)
הפוסט ירושלים | The Yishelem Post
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A 2 trillion LFR value loss triggers recession
December 5473



Tel Bira, Beiteynu - The latest Vandam Economic Report confirmed what many were already aware of: the loss of the Seleyan market as a result of the war, the Aldegarian Canal block and Kundrati's situation have resulted into a 2 trillion LFR loss in trade value in the Yeudish Neset. With no domestic manufacturing industry complementing the defence industry (Equifund) to compensate the offset, the severe recessive traits of international Yeudish shipping and finance have cost the Homeland State of Beiteynu billions in net trade, creating an imbalance in debt management that the Olami Trade Association has sounded alarms on.

As such, it remains difficult to firmly grasp the situation at present, with a crisis in the MSCO, peace talks with Lourenne and the potential of the war spilling over to Artania adding to the increasing strains of internal governance troubles in the Jacobstone Administration.

The Olami Trade Association has been working in conjunction with the Medinat Department to explore and ascertain long-term stabilising solutions to ensure that the Yeudish Neset does not collapse entirely, taking the world down with it, as investor confidence dips to historic lows since Tzafrir's austerity measures in 5199.

OTA's Head commented earlier today:

We need to carry on more debt and enact austerity to control the offset, hedging investment risks on the fact that the Yeudish Neset continues to remain mostly intact, since the geopolitical map during the war saw no movements, bar Kundrati's and Aldegar's foreign policies that damaged it.

The problem is confidence - the war was a loss, and a widespread one at that. We need to deal with the halted trade with the East; unfortunately we are seeing the governments of the West either entirely disregard this simple fact or altogether bypass it.

Our network stood alone, unsupported; and that is what we have to fix moving forward, reevaluating Yishelem's allegiances in the process.

Yeudish entrepreneurship across Terra needs the Homeland to find auxiliary pillars for the Yeudish Neset to support itself, from the Bannerpakt to a potential entry into the Luthorian Commonwealth, connecting to Tian'an's rising trade hub in the East and exploring the LFR currency itself.

After all, Yeudish shipping and finance are still the heart of the Yeudish Neset, and very connected to the East; Lourenne, Vascania - Yingdala.

[_nicolo_02]

Private clashes between Jacobstone and some Ministers lead to resignations
One Minister, reportedly called the PM "Jacobwarmongerstone"
November 5473

in other news:
- Lobbyists propose major Foreign Policy realignment upwards, MH abstains
- Environmental groups demand less attention to polluting weapons, and focus on 'green' weapons
- As ceasefire ensues, Beiteynuese public opinion shifts dramatically towards pacifism

YISHELEM, ENDILD - Rumours from our trusted sources are telling us that Finance Minister Abir Shine, along with the MoHS, MoST and MoFA (Food), are set to resign from the Jacobstone cabinet, after the former reportedly blamed Minister Shine for the Beiteynuese economic collapse, as reported by the newest edition of the Vandam Report. In the next few hours, they will be received by Meleh Albert in the Royal Palace starting from the protagonist of this story: Minister Shine, who has confirmed to us that he will resign but that he won't do so because of Jacobstone thoughts, he even found a derogatory nickname for the PM:

[...] If I have a comment? Oh yes I do: I am going to resign from the Jacobwarmongerstone cabinet, because I want to, and remain in MH. A couple of friends like Hiram Machuv, Joshwa Yoelsen and Jeremy Sklare will join me in protesting Labour's support for that ungrateful piece of [censored] who started a bloody war, made the economy collapse and then proceeded to blame me. Here, this is my comment.

From this comment, our perception is that the former Finance Minister was slightly unpleased with the current occupant of the Prime Minister's mansion, and that the growing calls for leader David Artistocrat-Goldbloom to detach MH from the national cabinet are mounting. But some Ministers don't think so, it's the case of MoD Saltzman aand MoIT Odaya Meir, who released a joint statement:

Our party must clearly abandon this dangerous anti-Governmental rhetoric and side with the pro-Beiteynu efforts of this cabinet. Anyone who opposes Jacobstone is anti-Beiteynu. We urge David Aristocrat-Goldbloom to ignore the radical activists who wants to end the cabinet.

At this point, we wanted to hear an opinion from the Minister of Environment, who was nowhere to be found, was reportedly found by paparazzi vacationing in Tel Bira's beaches and attending several parties. His office released a statement on his behalf:

Minister Aristocrat-Goldbloom is committed to preserve Labour unity and to preserve the integrity of Beiteynuese governance. He will be missing for this week in Yishelem for family issues.

In the end, we asked for a comment from PM Jacobstone, notifying him of the words used my MOF Shine:

Our Homeland is in a state of war and we need to deal with the repercussions of such a situation. This is no time for politics and theatrics, or agendas for that matter. The Administration will continue undeterred, even if that means an Emergency Cabinet needs to be formed.

We will take all the willing hands on board, to make sure the Homeland stays afloat and continues to prosper, for all the Yeudi People in Terra.

[GreekIdiot]

Humperdinck Media Group (Luthori)
הפוסט ירושלים | The Yishelem Post
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Systemic media hack resolved
December 5473

Yishelem, Beiteynu - A mass reboot and reset of servers occurred in the early hours of this morning across most Beiteynuese and Luthorian media publishers and broadcasters, after a system hack placed the word "warmonger" in news headlines and newsfeeds next to tags pertaining to the Homeland State and its Prime Minister, Mr. Jacobstone, after former Minister of Finance coined the term "jacobwarmongerstone" before resigning in protest.

The Digitali Nimshal has tasked additional resources for enhanced security measures and monitoring, expediting 2 contracts to Beiteynuese information technology companies to provide extra firmware for various major news publishers.

Early reports from the Yeudish Bureau of Investigations seem to indicate that the hack originated somewhere in West Majatra.

[_nicolo_02]

More MH ministers resign, Emergency Cabinet looks likely
A new set of MH Ministers resigned from office, Jacobstone decides on his future now.
January 5474


Former Environment and Tourism Minister, and current Leader of the MH, David Aristocrat-Goldbloom.

YISHELEM, ENDILD - Just weeks after the first round of MH Ministers' resignations, announced by our reliable newspaper here, news has reached our editorial board that another load of
Ministers is going to abandon the Jacobstone Cabinet, but for two different reasons.
There is the group of those, like MOF Shine, will resign in disagreement over the bellicose policies of the PM and wishful for a stronger pacifist commitment by the Labour Party, while
others like MOET Aristocrat-Goldbloom, the Leader of the MH, that has announced his withdrawal from the cabinet in order to focus on the internal issues of the party.
The new abandoning pacifist Ministers are MOJ Ephrem Montefiore, of Yeudi-Istalian heritage, MOIA Josep Peres, of Yeudi-Egelian heritage and Sait Beit, the Minister of Trade, who are all
going to remain part of the MH, but launching a challenge to David Aristocrat-Goldbloom, who, together with MOEC Abram Tzon, will resign to initiate a "reform process" of the MH. (Mr.
Tzon has been named Deputy Leader a couple of weeks ago).
This leaves the number of Labour Ministers to three: the hawks Epstein, Saltzman and Meir, all women, who have refused to criticize the PM even once since the start of the War. Increasing
rumours are telling us that there three Ministers are going to join the Hevrat Lobbyists if a emergency cabinet is appointed, while MH Leader has told the media that he won't join a new
cabinet until the party is done reforming, but left the door open to the partecipation of other Labour personalities in a future cabinet.

[Kubrick]

               LARGEST BANK ROBBERY IN HISTORY OF BEITEYNU
               In the early morning of 10 February hackers and bank robbers took over 12 billion from the Ashalon Bank

February 11, 5474 - Not even two months since the nationwide system hack allegedly done by hackers from Vanuku digital thugs have struck again. The elaborate bank robbery committed by this criminal gang was a coordinated effort between skilled hackers and boots on the ground, with dozens of offices of Ashalon being robbed at the same time with seemingly legit cash pickups. Insider sources claim police are baffled by the level of coordination, with the robbers having been able to avoid all forms of violence in getting their massive share back home. There has been no official statement as of yet from the police, except for a request to let the investigation run its course and to send any information to the police. The current hypothesis is that hackers were able to send requests into the Ashalon Bank systems for weeks in advance, making them seem like legit requests added to the queue. Allegedly nobody within the organisation noticed the massive money transports planned for the 10th of February, though a statement of Ashalon Bank has claimed the robbers had help from within. Either way money transports with seemingly legit papers appeared all over Beiteynu yesterday morning at dozens of offices of the Ashalon Bank. Afterwards all these money transports disappeared, with police unable to cordon off cities to intercept as they only discovered the robbery several hours after it had happened. CCTV footage has shown that all money transports gathered in the harbour city of Rishon Le Hofesh before depositing their prize money aboard an anonymous container ship. The container ship is only known as the SS Rosa Canina and was sailing under the Istalian flag, which later turned out to be a falsified name as no such ship exists. For now the police investigation seems to be at a dead end as the nation recuperates from the largest robbery in its history. However several so-called hacktivists, hacker activists, are claiming that the media hack of last December is related to this bank robbery, with HackWatch founder Ziv Margolis claiming that was them testing Beiteynu's response time: "They used a very advanced hacking method to take over several media accounts, even those related to the state, to me this is a clear attempt to test the response time of Beiteynu's cyber defences."

The Ashalon Bank BEIFG is one of the largest banks within Beiteynu. Over three-quarters of its banking business is related to commercial investing, with Ashalon Bank being the prime bank for Beiteynu's extensive shipping industry. A common saying within the shipping industry is that ships float only with Ashalon gold. Other investments include general industry and commercial enterprises, though in recent years the bank was also trying to make headway into the real estate market. Only a small fracture of its business was related to commercial banking. For the general populace this may turn out to be a blessing, as not many have lost their savings so far. Ashalon Bank has ensured all their customers that they are insured, but it is yet to be seen if the titan of the shipping industry can survive this massive hit. Economist Rafael Dienesman predicts the bank may default: "They are definitely insured, that is part of the law, but I expect that no insurance company that insures them is able to cover a loss like this. I predict they will default to save face, short their stock, get new investors and start with a clean slate - perhaps they are even hoping for a government bailout to save them but with the war barely over I do not see that happening anytime soon." Ashalon Bank BEIFG has refused to comment on the predictions of Dienesman. For now the company will cooperate with the police investigation will also doing its own internal research to get to the bottom of this heinous crime.

               The שליח בוקר (Morning Courier) is a broadsheet newspaper from Yishelem that mainly focuses on the middle class and political centre.