Mordusia

[Mervyk]

TOME: The End of a Demotic Era

The ESS has finally got a supra-majority, but of course, that's old news. The ESS has used the power their seat number entitles to change the institutions of Mordusian government. Former Lord-Elect Mervyk the Vogon is now Pope Mervyk the Vogon, or more exactly, The Holy Father, Divine Reincarnation of Mordus, Grand Tormentor of Plebeians, and Emitter of Eternal Magnificence, Pope Mervyk the Vogon Mervyk the Vogon. Pope Mervyk the Vogon is not wholly satisfied with this title, though and has ordered ESS legislators to change it again, if they could. With the elections fast approaching, things could turn stale. The country's name was also changed from the godawful Mordusian Democratic Republic to the little better Slightly Theocratic Republican Aristocracy of Mordusia, a name which obviously satisfies no one. The real news, however, is not that the ESS has gone into a massive unsatisfying re-naming frenzy, but that the Mordusian head of state is now hereditary. What this means, we don't know. The whole ordeal has only just begun. And to celebrate the whole fact, the ESS stated that they plan to establish the Institute of Mordusology, an institute that would be solely dedicated to the study of Mordusian culture. Hopefully this will improve the current sad, stagnant state of Mordusian culture, although skeptics have pointed out that the Institute of Mordusology would not work if the ESS continues to be the only party that takes the culture-building project seriously. On a lighter note, the ESS would once again re-name everything, if re-elected, and promises that names would be better the next round as they have gotten used to the naming thing. If re-elected.

[Mervyk]

Alexander Rook to become new squad chairman

Following Pope Mervyk the Vogon's resignation from party politics, Lord-High Secretary Alexander Rook immediately seized the chairmanship---a position formerly occupied by Pope Mervyk the Vogon. For vice-chairman, Alexander Rook appointed Reginald Lustiger, the current minister of finance. Messrs. Rook and Lustiger are more socially conservative than previous ESS leaders, but the new squad leadership shall not stray away from the ideals of the former chairman. The new ESS also has not forgotten its love for its ex-chairman, the Pope, and promises to defend the Papacy and the Church.


Alexander Rook


Reginald Lustiger

[Mervyk]

Pope Mervyk Very Ill

His Holiness, Pope Mervyk the Vogon, is very ill and is about to die. His Holiness has anthrax and presumably contracted it from reading confidential letters sent by the Priory of Mordus. Mordusians were noticeably outraged by this open act of murder, but the Pope, with his everlasting mercifulness, has told the populace that he has forgiven the perpetrators and that such open acts of murder were necessary for the stability of high leadership.

"I have served Mordusia for seven decades now," said His Holiness, vomitting blood. "And will not able to go farther. I am fatigued, wilted and old. The Priory was right when they planted athrax in my mail---I need---" At this point of the Pope's magnificent and all-forgiving speech, His Holiness burst into a violent convulsion and had to be carried away. Barely audible above the din was His Holiness' tortured and loving gasp "---Rest." And so ends the Pope's first, and possibly only, public address to Mordusians: in a bloody and violent farce demonstrating the tender, loving mercifulness of our leaders.

The Priory has decided to murder Pope Mervyk for upsetting several of its prestigious, secretive and blood-thristy members who, in their prestigious, psychopathic exclusiveness, lamented not having fatally stabbed the Pope instead.

[Mervyk]

Lustiger Unveils Ambitious New Plan

Finance Minister Reginald Lustiger has recently unveiled his ambitious new plan for the finances of Mordusia. Said plan includes gradually lowering the luxury sales tax from 35% to reasonable amount. At this moment the luxury sales tax rate has been lowered to 32% and a new bill in the Papal Lobby will further reduce it to 29%, if passed. Many Mordusians applaud this act of sensiblity as the act will allow them to more of what they want with their money favorably to invest it in the Mordusian economy. The next step of the plan will be evening government expenses according to the nation's priorities, which is primarily military. For Thomas Remington, Defense Minister, has announced his intention to overhaul the Mordusian Armed Forces.

[Mervyk]

Pope Mervyk Dies

It seems that our glorious and inexorable Pope Mervyk the Vogon has finally succumbed to mortality and ended not quite unlike how the rest of us will. Its cause, however, was undetermined, for the Church forbids autopsies and other sacrileges of holy flesh. But upon examining the superficial evidence we can speculate that His Holiness may have died from anthrax, chest impalement by way of poker or just plain old age. This papers wonders, however, how such petty pedantry can alleviate the suffering of our grief-stricken countrymen who were not just wronged, but were wrongfully wronged by this untimely murder of one of Mordusia's most charismatic and influential leaders who not only single-handedly saved Mordusia from the wicked throes of a communist dicatorship, but also defended its interests from the demands of meddlesome foreigners. Such a leader is hard to come by, but come they will, for this great nation of ours can never lack audacious souls whose happiness is connected to Mordusia's success and its interests forever nestled in their hearts. But the space that Pope Mervyk filled can never be reoccupied, an inevitability Mordusia must accept and quickly recover from, for unrestrained grieving is a degeneracy that would have insulted the sensibilities of the late Pope and the likes of which should not exist in Mordusia.


Pope Mervyk the Vogon rests in piece. Note how Papal embalmers have hidden the stab wound and its object of cause
defiling the Pope's body in the process. It also makes for a very boring picture.

Pope Mervyk's selfless dedication to our great nation has left him unmarried and without heirs pushing Priory activity to the forefront. The Priory cannot select a politically affliated candidate, nor can the Priory just place some soul at the zenith of power. This dilemma will serve as a fitting test of competency for an organization with the incredible responsibility of selecting Mordusia's sovereign.

[Mervyk]

TOME: Cardinal Irving Chosen to Succeed Pope Mervyk the Vogon

The Priory has chosen Cardinal Conrad Morris Irving to succeed Pope Mervyk the Vogon. Cardinal Irving was a prominent member of the College of Cardinals and has advised the late Pope more than any other Cardinal and more than what was wanted. He was born on Fort Benedict, Nonantola on 25 December 2923 to upper middle class parents. Due to radical ESS reforms in education and other spheres, Cardinal Irving was able to pursue an "unconventional" education, studying in various private schools and attending a naval college at the age of fourteen. He became a naval officer at the age of sixteen served exceptionally until his conversion to the Church of Mordus, rising to the rank of Lieutenant. During that period, he wrote short stories, mostly of his adventures at sea, gaining him minor celebrity. At the age of nineteen, Cardinal Irving accepted an invitation from the Prieure' de Mordus and two years later, he converted to the Church of Mordus and retired early from military life. He then studied theology and became a theologian. As a theologian, he helped develop the principles and shape the structure of the fledgling Church. The Church was then banished by the Royal Crown Alliance, forcing Cardinal Irving to perform his duties underground. He was later appointed Archbishop of Mons Perigon (now Perth), also underground, and remained so until the Elitist Super Squad lifted the banishment whereupon he was appointed Cardinal and Prefect of the Pontifical Doctrine Commission. He was a contributor to several religious journals and frequently stalked the late Pope giving him unwanted advice. He was also a staunch nationalist and a radical isolationist. He was chosen by the Priory to succeed Peope Mervyk for his contributions to the Church and unquestionable devotion to Mordusia. Cardinal Irving has chosen the regnal name of Hester.

[Mervyk]

Chamberlain Marries CEO's Daughter


How this paper imagines the wedding to appear.

This May, Mordusians have witnessed the marriage of Alexander Rook, Chamberlain of the Papal Lobby, to Emily Higgins, daughter of Repton CEO, Harry Higgins. These ecstatic young lovebirds are both members of the Prieure' de Mordus---an intriguing and sinister fact. Attending the lavish and grand wedding ceremony funded by Mordusia's richest man were members of the Prieure', the Mordic clergy, businessmen, ESS politicians, friends and papists of all sorts. The marriage was blessed by the Pope himself and was presided over by no less than the Archbishop of Perth. It is said that Alexander Rook is pursuing this course of action, unknown to ESS politicians, except the despised Lord-Secretary Mecken, because he is grooming himself for the dukedom Pope Hester I promised to bestow upon him. The Higgins family is delighted to participate in this brazen dynasty building.

After the ceremony, the newlyweds boarded an elaborate gilt carriage drawn by six white stallions and drove-off to the Pearl Palace. During this time, Repton Security Forces, courtesy of Mr. Higgins, kept the steets and sidewalks relevant to the trip clear of curious plebeians. At the Pearl Palace, the newlyweds were greeted by the sight of their friends and family and the massive wedding banquet that awaited them. The banquet hall was draped white and gold. A sea of chairs and tables rendered the mosaic floor barely visible. On the far end of the hall, a magnificent dais was erected and ran end to end. The newlyweds sat in the center of the dais. Mr Rooks singular friend---other than his wife, of course, Mr. Reginald Lustiger, sat at his left. The rest of the honored seats were occupied by the Higgins faction. Soon after the feasting was over, a drunken Mr. Higgins broke a champagne glass, stood up and began speechifying. His horrified wife then dismissed yours truly.

[Mervyk]

Pope Hester Urges Conservative Reforms



Pope Mervyk's successor is not as socially permissive as the late Pope was. Five months ago, Pope Hester met with Chamberlain Alexander Rook and requested reforms from the ESS. The ESS Lobbyists came up with the "New ESS Stance" a bill that will outlaw recreational drug use and polygamous marriages. During that same time, ESS Lobbyists also presented the "Right to Strike" bill excepting public employees from the right to strike.

"We don't want people to think we're overreaching," said Lobbyist Gregory Holroyd. "We just want them to know that we think the recreational use of drugs is wrong and most people think it is wrong. It's not acceptable and it shouldn't be encouraged. If there is any way the ESS could make that clear without interfering with other people's lives, we'd be glad to do so, but unfortunately this is the only way we could effectively send the message. But don't parents and concerned citizens think they are exempted from the responsibility of recreational drug use prevention, for making recreational drugs illegal does not stop people from wanting them---they'll find ways to smuggle drugs into the country sooner and later and the only way to stop that is get rid of the demand---no, we are not calling for the death of hippies erm---well, maybe we are calling for the metaphorical death of hippies---and that could only be achieved by vigilant parenting---parents meaning a father and a mother---hence the ban on polygamous marriages.

"The ban on polygamy was a very wise move. Research shows that polygamy increases violence among young men. The ESS also believes that polygamous marriages are very disadvantageous for children and what is a marriage if not for children?

"As for the exeption of public employees from the right to strike, taxpayer money pays them and they shouldn't be given the oppurtunity to leech like that. If they wanted a good pay they shouldn't have worked for the government in the first place. In the end it's their fault. Anybody attracted to government officialdom is up to no good. Romance has no place in government."

Right now, the ESS has created several bills poised on a total ban pornography, the reinstatement of the death penalty and giving local governments the power to impose curfews.

[Drako]

Mordusian Military Overhaul Complete

The modernization efforts put in place by the Act for the Complete Modernization of the Mordusian Military of 3045 have been completed. The new weapons have the potential to catapult Mordusia into a top spot in world military considerations. The Imperial Navy and Imperial Air Force are believed to gain the most from the overhauls. The Navy alone will be receiving 200 new vessels including 3 new Mordus-class Supercarriers. The Imperial Air Force will also be getting a full overhaul with 14,000 new aircraft. The Imperial Army will receive 29,000 new vehicles as well.

When asked about the "new" Mordusian military, the Minister of Defence, Vincent Klegan, commented saying, "We believe that the increased capabilities of the Mordusian Military will once again make us a first-class world power. I and the Libertarian Monarchist Party will continue to advocate the upkeep of our nation's military so we will never slip into degradation again. Using our new military, we plan on reasserting our nation's position diplomatically and reengage in strong international relations."

Critics have opposed the modernization as taking away from social spending. John Orbison, leader of the group Mordusians for World Peace, responded stating, "This is a blatant act by the LMP to engage in militarist activity. The enormous spending used to "aid in defence" could have been spent on programs to aid the poor and provide free health care. Mordusians for World Peace will continue to oppose such blatant acts of militarism by our so-called "libertarian" government."

[Drako]

Viceroy John Jacobson Set to Retire

Viceroy John Jacobson has announced that he will retire at the end of his current term. He has already handed over the Chairmanship of the Libertarian Monarchist Party and the Head of the House of Jacobson to his son, George Jacobson III. This is the end of an era in the political history of Mordusia. John Jacobson has held his position continually since 3024 and has seen a steady growth of the Mordusian economy. He is also responsible for the majority of the effort into the modernization of the Mordusian Armed Forces. His colleagues in the Imperial Diet have issued a statement praising his term as Viceroy and wish him luck in his endeavors after his retirement. The Viceroy has said he plans on taking up sailing and wants to sail around Terra. We at the Mordic Examiner wish the Viceroy luck as he heads into peaceful retirement.