Welfare Party bored by conservatives?An investigative report by Jonah RahyiIs the Gerajan Welfare Party bored by the power-struggles of the Conservative Party? At first, nobody would even contemplate such a possibility, seeing as the conservatives are the second most power in the nation, and are winning every second election. But could it be, that the GWP just doesn't care? And is it, I may ask, clever, of them, not to care?
To clear this matter, I have made a few phone-calls to Theresia Bunyarinda, current Kanzler of our fair country. Of course she didn't talk to me directly, but her second undersecretary's husband's maid found the time to send me the email adress of her cousin's favourite taxi driver, and he was able to give me just the right answers.
Apparently, the Kanzler isn't even well aware of the crisis the conservatives are facing at the time. Rumor has, that they even don't keep track of the various leaders of the conservatives, and have installed a simple program in their microphones, that adds the right name to their speeches. Furthermore, according to my source, they seem to be more concerned with more or less obviously fake UFO sightings, the escapades of the Luthori crown prince, and what ever the hell it is that is happening in Deltaria Nova - and they actually seem to like what's going on there, but that hasn't been veryfied yet.
That was all that I could read from the email of the taxi driver, and so I went and looked for another source that could tell me about what's going on in the minds of this party.
So I met Mr. Heribert Käuzchenkropf-Überschwang, two-time escapee from the Kunta Mental Asylum, and apparently, so he tells me, long-time confident of Präsident Josef Hunter. Please note that none of the following could be verified, although it seems breathtaking enough to publish it anyway:
Kräuzchenkropf-Überschwang told me, that our Präsident is really the long lost King of old, and has come to us to reunite Malivia under the old Gerajan Maharajat. Josef Hunter plans to reveal this to the public the moment his party has the necessary majority to change the constitution, and will then rule for over hundred years as wise and merciful Rahja Huntahra the Ancient.
Mr. Heribert Kräuzchenkropf-ÜberschwangBut these were not the only astounding claims Mr. Kräuzchenkropf-Überschwang made this day, he also told me that our Minister of Internal Affairs enjoys torturing victims on a weekly basis, and that there are lizard-people and vampires to be found in our current government, that, in fact, many of its members are well over a thousand years old, that some of them have known and collaborated with the Saiser hundreds of years ago, and that most of them belong to an ancient cult that worships the archdemon of forbidden knowledge, led by an old and hidden duchy somewhere in Dovani.
After these claims, Mr. Kräuzchenkropf-Überschwang's speech became utterly unrealistic, and so I ended my interview with this fascinating case study, and hurried to make this article out of it.