Kafuristan

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Bloodbath at the Presidential Palace
President Kharami Is No more
July 4, 3721

President Omar al-Kharami has been shot dead in his official residence, the Qatib's Palace in al-Kasraj. The 60 year old President had just returned home after a long day's work in the office section of the Palace and his 19 year old son Yahya greeted his father with 27 shots from his shiny Uzi. Three of the President's bodyguards also lost their lives in the assassination while Yahya himself was captured alive after a 20 minute showdown where he declared himself President of Kafuristan in succession to his slain father. Shura Chairman Hosni al-Hussein has been named interim President of the Republic, with elections set to take place in the coming months.

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Supreme Military Council Confirms Military Coup And Suspends Constitution

June 3740

AL-KASRAJ, KAFURISTAN -- The Supreme Military Council has seized control of the country and suspended the constitution after rival factions failed in negotiations to end months of political turmoil – resulting in yet another coup in Kafuristan. While the head of the army, General Hasan al-Sultani, did not use the word "coup" in his televised statement, he said the takeover was necessary "in order for the country to return to normality quickly". He added that the Armed Forces would seize power as of 4.30pm local time and would help "reform the political structure, the economy and society". He said: "It is necessary for the Supreme Military Council – which includes Army, Navy, Airforce as well as the Internal Security Forces and the Republican Guard – to take control of governing the country."

In a separate televised statement, an army spokesman ordered the President, Nuri al-Assad, his remaining ministers and several other political figures to report to a National Guard compound in the capital city of al-Kasraj, adding that the country's constitution was being suspended but the Majlis al-Sha'ab and all courts would continue to function.

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Government outraged at arrest of 7 Kafuri citizens in Alduria

November 3741

AL-KASRAJ, KAFURISTAN -- The Government of Kafuristan has reacted furiously to the arrest by Aldurian law enforcement agencies of seven Kafuri nationals accused of being involved in a massive offshore oil fraud scandal, labeling the action as "wild and hysterical". The arrests drew condemnations from Kafuristan's top leaders, including Defense Minister Gen. Hasib Navid Nagi, who demanded that the seven be released immediately. He called the charges "moronic and absolutely far-fetched.... I would not be surprised if they get indicted for planning to steal the sun from the sky." The Foreign Ministry said it was concerned about the safety of Kafuri nationals in Alduria urging all Kafuri's to avoid traveling to Alduria.


Thousands welcome back Wadud Mostafa El-Mofty

December 3741

AL-KASRAJ, KAFURISTAN -- The only man of a group of Kafuri nationals, accused by Aldurian officials of being involved in a in massive offshore oil fraud scandal, who managed to stay out of the hands of Aldurian law enforcement agencies, Mr. Wadud Mostafa El-Mofty returned home to Kafuristan receiving a hero's welcome. Arriving with a government airplane at a military airport near al-Kasraj, thousands of youths were on hand to warmly greet him. He left the plane wearing a dark suit and a tie, being escorted by senior officals of the General Intelligence Directorate and the Ministry of Defence. In Kafuristan, El-Mofty and the seven Kafuri citizens still being held captive in Alduria are seen as innocent scapegoats Alduria and Zardugal used to try turning Kafuristan into a pariah, and the return El-Mofty is a cause for celebration. There was a festive atmosphere with some wearing T-shirts with El-Mofty's picture and waving Kafuri flags.

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Government praises Brmék Mujahedin

AL-KASRAJ, KAFURISTAN -- General Hasan al-Sultani, President of the Majatran Republic of Kafuristan and Chairman of the Supreme Military Council, praised the Brmék Mujahedin for their fight against the cat-worshipping oppressors and their imperialist crusader allies in Barmenistan during a festival, at a army base near the border with Wantuni (Kalopia), marking the Feast of the Sacrifice, an Ahmadi holy day. “Oh our brothers, we are proud of you in your victories. We are with you in your happiness and your sorrow. In these troubled days, we call for your patience and stability, especially now that all your enemies are united against you. Please put all your rivalries behind you. All Ahmadi's in the world have great expectations of you. We are with you, we will provide you with Mujahideen and with every possible support,” he said when asked by a group of Ahmadi clerics about the situation in Barmenistan.

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Kafuristan Arms Brmék Mujahedin for Holy War with Felinist Kafir

AL-KASRAJ, KAFURISTAN -- Kafuristan's supreme leader, General Hasan al-Sultani, strongly condemned the felinist crusader regime, and underlined that Barmenian Ahmadies should continue their armed struggle against them. "The armed resistance by our Ahmadi brothers is the only way to confront the felinist kafir," General al-Sultani said addressing a group of university students in al-Kasraj, urging Barmenian Ahmadies to keep fighting the cat-worshipping oppressors and their imperialist crusader allies. "The only way to deal with this savage regime is to continue resistance and armed struggle in Barmenistan and extend it," the General said. The Head of Kafuristan's Armed Forces noted that the criminal acts of the wolfish, child-killer felinist regime in Barmenistan has revealed its true nature, and said, "The only way to solve this problem is full annihilation and destruction of the felinist regime. Fighting the felinist regime is a war of destiny. The Majatran Republic of Kafuristan and the Kafuri people are proud of your victory and resistance, and hope that the back-to-back triumphs of resistance groups will continue until final victory.” General al-Sultani promised increased support for the Brmék Mujahedin and other Ahmadi resistance groups in Barmenistan, urging them to stockpile arms in anticipation of a "divine holy war" against the felinists.

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Kafuristan Praises Vanuku

AL-KASRAJ, KAFURISTAN -- In an unusual comment, the Minister of Foreign Affairs, General Fahim Hisein Saqqaf, has praised Vanuku as a "significant country" in the region and said its government has done well to resist Zardic calls for sanctions against the legitimate Government of the Majatran Republic of Kafuristan over its support for Ahmadi resistance groups in Barmenistan. "There is no doubt that Vanuku is a significant country in the region. They are aware of the Barmenian Ahmadi aspirations, creeds and love for freedom. It is totally illogical they should plunge their nation into a calamity just for the pleasure of Zardugal," General Saqqaf said in a statement. “Some reliable sources said that the Vanukuan government did not pay heed to Zardic demands and showed their reservations, because the Vanukuans know or they should know that the Zards are grinding their own axe,” the General continued to say. Sources at the Ministry of Foreign Affairs said Kafuristan wants to have cordial relations with Vanuku on the basis of sovereignty, equality, mutual respect and non-interference in each other's internal affairs.


Kafuristan Slams Zardugal Over Sanctions

AL-KASRAJ, KAFURISTAN -- General Hasan al-Sultani, Kafuristan's supreme leader, has called Zardic-engineerd sanctions against the Majatran Republic of Kafuristan as “inhumane and against human rights”, calling for the lifting of the illegal bans. Speaking at a military base near the capital city of al-Kasraj, General Hasan al-Sultani said the Zardic government is “infatuated” and “obsessed” with sanctions and such measures will get them nowhere. "These illegal sanction are oppression and aggression and we should stand against this aggression, suppress the aggressor, and do not let the sanctions be kept in place and repeated," the General said, referring to the illegal sanctions impossed by Zardugal.

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Scholars Call For 'Jihad' Over Zardic Raid Of Mosque

July 3748

AL-KASRAJ, KAFURISTAN -- Leading Ahmadi scholars and religious leaders in Kafuristan have called for a jihad against Zardugal after the raid on the Ahmadi City Mosque in Kostandian Bay. In a statement distributed to Kafuri media, 70 of the country's prominent religious leaders said Ahmadi's had an "obligation" to take action and to help their Ahmadi brethren in Zardugal. "We have to strike at the heart of Zardugal and destroy this evil. The only solution for peace in the region is the destruction of Zardugal. Dialogue and negotiations only increases violence by the Zardic government. The only way to save Ahmadi's in Zardugal from attacks and humiliation is to return to the way of Akeem," the statement said. The group condemned the raid carried out by Zardic security forces against the mosque and called on Ahmadi governments to press for the release of all persons who were arrested during the raid.

Kafuristan condemns Zardic aggression against Ahmadi's

July 3748

AL-KASRAJ, KAFURISTAN -- Kafuristan has expressed concern about and condemned the recent escalation of violence and loss of Ahmadi lives in Kostandian Bay brought forth by Zardic aggression, the Ministry of Foreign said. "The Government of Kafuristan is deeply concerned at the recent escalation of violence and loss of lives in Kostandian Bay. Kafuristan condemns Zardic aggression and has consistently supported the cause of Zardic Ahmadi's, specially the two-state solution which paves the way for a viable Ahmadi state and for peace in the region," the statement said. The statement also strongly condemned Zardugal’s constant desecration of Ahmadi mosques and holy sites, warning that such offensive moves will have "severe consequences". The Government of Kafuristan urges the international community to take preventive measures against Zardugal’s inhumane conduct regarding Ahmadi's.

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Security Forces Arrest Several Spies In Nekkah Province

January 3750

AL-KASRAJ, KAFURISTAN -- Lt.Gen. Sa'id Rashid Hussain, the Minister of Internal Affairs, announced today that the country’s security forces have arrested several spies in the Western province of Nekkah which hosts several of the country’s largest military bases as well as Dorvik's Pravnova Naval Installation. “Thanks to the vigilance of the intelligence and security forces who monitor the moves of the foreign intelligence services, some agents who intended to carry out surveillance and intelligence gathering for the foreigners in Nekkah province have been identified and sent to justice,” Lt.Gen Hussain said, addressing a number of local officials in the city of al-Kahrour today. The Minister further reminded the decisive role of Nekkah province for the country, and stressed, “This province, as the economic, industrial, military and trade hub of the country, has a special position at the national level.”

The Minister of Internal Affairs disclosed that the country has disrupted plots by foreign spies to recruit experts in "vital area's for the economy and military" and stopped sabotage attempts through faulty foreign equipment supplied for its oil industries. “We aim to raise awareness about the enemy, who is more hostile to us every day,” the Minister said. He did not name the countries that authorities believe are behind the sabotage and the recruitment effort. Lt.Gen Hussain said foreign intelligence agencies targeted the experts when they traveled abroad and that the experts informed their superiors about the contact when they returned home. He did not elaborate on number of the attempts and destinations where the contacts occurred.

Lt.Gen. Hussain said Kafuristan remains a target for foreign spies, pointing at the shooting down of a Zardic spy drone near a military facility neat the Wantuni-Kafuri border. “With the dominance, resistance and vigilance that our defense system has shown, any flying object aiming to approach our military sites will be targeted,” Hussain said. “We are not joking with anyone. From now on they will see that (our response) to such jokes will be serious.” Lt.Gen. Hussain warned that Kafuristan reserves the right of response and will retaliate against anyone who violates Kafuristan's sovereignty.

56 Executed For Collaborating With Foreign Elements

January 3750

AL-KASRAJ, KAFURISTAN -- The Internal Security Forces have executed 56 persons accused of providing information to Zardic intelligence agencies and assisting them with preparing for attacks on military instalations. Gen. Abdul-Rahman Sa'ab, the head of al-Kasraj's Special Military Court, issued a statement on national television, saying that the 56 who were executed had been found guilty of collaborating with Zardugal. "They had been found guilty of collaborating for several years with the Zardic imperialists and of having as a result caused harm against Kafuristan and its People," General Sa'ab said. The first batch involving 30 people were killed early in the day at the headquarters of the Internal Security Forces in al-Kasraj. 26 more were killed later in the day in a public execution in a central square in al-Kasraj.

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General Hasan al-Sultani Severely Injured In Assassination Attempt

January 3755

AL-KASRAJ, KAFURISTAN -- The Ra'is (President) of the Majatran Republic of Kafuristan, Commander-in-Chief of the Kafuri Armed Forces and Chairman of the Supreme Military Council, General Hasan al-Sultani was severely injured after a road side bomb was detonated near his passing convoy in al-Kasraj. Reports indicate that the General was on his way to the Defence Ministry’s headquarters, to chair a meeting of the Supreme Military Council, when the improvised explosive device was remotely triggered. Local sources say two of the general’s bodyguards were killed and several others sustained injuries from the attack and that at least one of the vehicles in this convoy was badly destroyed. It is still unclear who orchestrated the assassination attempt. The Supreme Military Council has appointed General Hayder Ilyas Kader, the Wazir al-Akbar (Chief Minister), as acting Chairman of the Supreme Military Council, making him the defacto leader of Kafuristan.

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Disputes Over New Leadership

January 3755

AL-KASRAJ, KAFURISTAN -- Two military leaders have claimed the presidency of Kafuristan and chairmanship of the Supreme Military Council in the hours since the current President of Kafuristan and Chairman of the Supreme Military Council, General Hasan al-Sultani, was life-threateningly injured in an assassination attempt. Shortly after the news of the assassination attempt came out the Supreme Military Council appointed General Hayder Ilyas Kader, the Wazir al-Akbar (Chief Minister), as acting Chairman of the Supreme Military Council, making him the defacto leader of Kafuristan. But hours later, General Mufaddal Karim, the commander of the Republican Guard, declared General Kader’s appointment to be head of state was “obsolete”. General Mufaddal Karim said that he would form a new government and lead the transition back to democracy in a recorded address posted on the website of a national television station. “While we wait to define in a consensual manner, with all of the political parties and civil society organisations, the contours and composition of this peaceful democratic transition, I will henceforth assume, from today, the responsibilities of the head of this transition and the head of state,” he said.