The Jelbanian Purple Stripe is the largest and oldest media outlet in Jelbania. It is written primarily to a foreign and Settled
(Jeztaghényr) Jelbék audience and is often the most critical of traditional Jelbicism.1 August 4489
As socialist government claims public ownership of all housing, Jeztaghé
housing proves difficult to locateA Jeztaghé yurt, "owned" by the socialist government, but never seen by government agentsKSHI JEZTRIDOMURA, Yamtékstan, Confederal Tribal Areas The
Public Houses act, which controversially legalized
government seizure of all housing across the Confederation, has proven difficult to implement in the
Jeztaghényr sections of Jelbania and next to
impossible in the
Jeztaghé tribal areas according to a study commissioned by the
opposition
Suadmjekestijogad Prta.
Nearly JEL 35,000,000 has been spent on implementation of the act in just the two months since the act's passage
according to the
Report on the Seizure of Homes, published this week by the Institute on Jelbic Public Policy. This
figure makes the piece of legislation one of the most expensive in recent Jelbek history, adding to the bill's dramatic
unpopularity.
According to the
Report, in the cities of the north, south, and east, hundreds reported being forced to sell their homes
to the government at a price they deemed to be unfair, and dozens reported being forcibly removed from their homes
by agents of the government. The
Report's most insightful conclusions, however, come from the western steppes. The
implementation of the act there has been almost entirely unsuccessful, with a mere 3% of estimated homes actually
seized by the government, and nearly all of those appropriated homes reported as "vacant" immediately post-seizure.
Additionally, the
Report concluded that six government agents have been killed or been lost in action during seizure
missions in the Confederal Tribal Areas. These dismal numbers highlight the difficulties faced by generations of
administrations in taming the Jelbek steppe, where the nomadic lifestyle of the
Jeztaghé tribes makes government
directives nearly meaningless.
The
Report attributes this failed implementation largely to common sense -
Jeztaghé Kota, or 'yurts', are mobile
structures which are easily dissembled and relocated at a moment's notice. Socialist policies, successful in other
nations, are heavily reliant upon the efficacy of centralized government action. Government action has historically
been extremely ineffective in the Confederal Tribal Areas, where
even highly preventable diseases have proven
remarkably difficult to prevent or treat. In the end, the
Report concludes, even with the high funding offered by the
Socialist government, it is impossible to seize a home for which there is no record of existence.
The
Suadmjekestijogad Prta, which abstained from voting on the Public Houses act out of what it called a
"recognition of the stupidity of the government", demanded that the policy be rescinded and a full investigation into
the reports of forcible seizure of homes in the Jelbek cities. "This outcome was quite predictable, and yet again we
are caused to weep for the dead men of Jelbania who were killed by her socialist regime," stated a spokesman for
the opposition.
Just a bunch of shit.