Mordusia

[Mervyk]

RCA Ignores Warning and More

Although thrice warned by the Elitist Super Squad, the Royal Crown Alliance still intends to pass a 15% tax on corporations. Corporation taxes harm consumers the most and are not worth much at all, indeed, the corporation tax is just an invisible tax on consumers that significantly reduces Mordusian competitive advantage; no doubt the RCA has done this to capitalize on the wide-spread hatred of corporations. And since the bill would not be able to pass under normal circumstances, the RCA has enlisted the help of the extremist socialist party, the Union for Social Change. Savoring this newly found power, the RCA and their socialist cohorts voted yea on a bill that will make it harder for children to find employment, make investment trickier, limit free speech and promote stupidity, and allow the government wrap its power-hungry coils around an otherwise free-market. And although the RCA claims to condemn socialism, it supports several socialist policies. The RCA has long craved subsidies for projects that concerns environment, culture, and anything else that would give its party leaders the appearance of high-class and culture. The RCA is not laissez-faire either, that is evident. In fact, the party is only a hair's breadth away from being outright socialist.

-The Observer

[Mervyk]

The RCA Lashes Out

The Royal Crown Alliance, obviously upset by the absence of the Union for Social Change, lashed out at the Elitist Super Squad today and revealed its innermost thoughts on the party and its policies. Failing to grasp that there is a 600 billion budget surplus, the RCA harangued the ESS for creating a bill that proposes to eliminate the corporation tax that is worth about 138 billion MDR. The RCA accused the ESS of attempting to bestow additional privileges on corporations and insinuated that the ESS does not care about individual rights—a most fallacious accusation if there ever was one. The ESS was famous, indeed, it was notorious for upholding individual rights to the point of extremes. The RCA calls this bold defense of individual liberty "immorality," or "immodesty" and opposed nearly every measure where it was concerned, but the ESS trekked on.

"Really, it is impossible how the RCA ever got the idea that they were the ones protecting our rights," says Mr. Robert Collingsworth, Port Clemens resident. "All they've ever done was moralize and conform national laws to their own personal scruples. They've really taken it too far this time."

Mr. Collingsworth was referring to a previous incident wherein the RCA accused the ESS administration of corruption after then Finance Minister M.F. Cameron instituted a 200 billion MDR budget increase for the Ministry of Defense and severed the funding of several other ministries.

“I can see where the RCA is coming from, but those ministries were completely defunct—no responsibilities at all. Why they keep insisting on funding them is a mystery,” Mr. Cameron said in an interview. “The 200 billion increase in the defense budget wasn’t unwarranted for either. The previous Minister of Defense, Strange, was working to revamp the armed forces, which was frightfully underdeveloped, and asked for a boost. It is queer that they should accuse Strange and me of corruption, Rhodes is funding empty ministries. The RCA should watch itself—I feel embarrassed for them."

And that concludes today's news.

-The Observer

[Mervyk]

Former Lord-Secretary Dies in Plane Crash



Ambrose Mecken, Lord-Secretary (2918-2929) died in Cronberg Talasor December 13, 2932 just before his 84th birth-day. Although well-known for... --Mecken was not a very well-liked man. He had sociopathic tendencies which did not go well with people, and he was tone-deaf which did not go well with members of the Elitist Super Squad. In fact, Mervyk the Vogon, chairman of the party, once said that Ambrose Mecken was not meant to be Lord-Secretary or anything else for that matter.

He was on his way to his residence in Fronds when the turkey he meant to give to his wife exploded at an inapproriate moment. Gravity then took control of the situation and pulled his jet downwards. Three other people died with him, none of whom was his wife.


Ambrose Mecken's formerly functioning jet.

"Even though Ambrose Mecken was one of the most horrid human-beings I ever met--he could couldn't even be the most horrid human-being which perfectly illustrates what a failure he was--he stuck to his ideals. He never compromised and he never gave up. Most of us may sneer and scorn and insult and damn him, but l tell you right now: I sort of respect that man." says Lewellyn Stromberg, the only other human being that allows Mecken to approach him, in the eulogy he gave.


Lewellyn Stromberg gave the eulogy:
"I sort of respect that man."

"I can't believe he did it--he actually did it. He actually delivered the eulogy. Now I owe him money. Damn him," Carey van den Hauwe replied when our reporters asked him what he thought of Mr. Stromberg's sentimental speech. Others had the same reaction.

After the touching scene, a mob of angry wild-life seized the coffin and dumped Mecken's body into a polluted river.

-The Observer

[Mervyk]

Demographic Preservation Act Passed

The Demographic Preservation Act was passed. It may seem like a simple conservative, isolationist bill intent on preserving "traditional" Mordusian culture, but its effects are actually more sinister. The bill gives the government to the power to choose who and who may not be granted citizenship and the rights that correspond with it, even if that person was born in Mordusia. You heard correctly. It can strip Mordusians of their citizenship if they do not meet the government's coercive requirements. It demands Mordusians to register their race and religion. It is an unrestrained attack on the privacy of Mordusians, going as far as allowing the government to search homes for illegal immigrants -- native Mordusians are not exempt.

"This bill is ourageous! It has given the government god-like powers -- all the RCA's talk of small government is a sham," said James Albert Becquet, an ESS legislator. " Ant not only does it increase the size of government, but it threatens to damage Mordusia's competitive edge. It has severely limited the pool of talented foreign-borns that could immigrate to Mordusia. Not to mention its grave threat to privacy. The RCA badly needs to think about what it's doing. If this goes on any longer, Mordusia will be ruined."

-The Observer

[Mervyk]

ESS Regains Power


The ESS victorious

The Elitist Super Squad is back and more powerful than ever before. Mervyk the Vogon is once again Lord-Elect, and the ESS is now working to reform the cabinet. Leopold Saint-Claire, the ESS candidate for Lord-Secretary, has this to say:

"We're not going to stop. We shall make Mordusia one of Terra's most powerful nations. We'll start by eliminating government control of the economy and establishing an absolutely free and competitive market. We shall also reverse the ridiculous pacifist policies the socalists have instituted. The ESS is not a militarist party, we are all for peace. That is why we reject the socialist's lousy rhetoric on the subject. They believe that Mordusia can only be a peaceful nation when she is incapable of attacking other nations -- when she is incapable of intimidating other nations. What the socialists never realized is that other nations are capable of attacking Mordusia, and disarming Mordusia will not necessarily lead to peace. You, citizens of Mordusia, you yourselves have arms. You have arms to protect yourselves -- from thieves, from murderers, and from other forces of violence. You sleep well at night knowing that you are safe -- that your family is safe, and that you hold the key to that safety. Hear this, Mordusians, if your arms were suddenly confiscated and knowing that great dangers lurk at every corner, would you be able to sleep well? This is what's is happening to Mordusia right now! Your nation is unarmed, you are not safe. Any nation with nuclear capabilities can raze our cities to the ground and obliterate millions of our fellow countrymen at one swipe. As long as this continues, we shall never be safe. We need to reform the military now and that is exactly what we're here for."

-The Observer

[Mervyk]

RCA Shows Its True Colors
Royal Crown Alliance Without a Doubt Socialist

The game is up. The Royal Crown Alliance has finally revealed to the world what has been gnawing at the party's very core -- socialism. The RCA has created several bills proposing to subsidize the "less fortunate," and plans to fund it with taxes on "excess" children. What a scam, eh? Until now the RCA has been very dualistic when it came to matters of government responsibilty. They claim to support laissez-faire while at the same time passing laws introducing massive government regulation of the economy. Of course, we Mordusians should have seen it earlier. Like most socialists, the Royal Crown Alliance does not believe in the concept of individual responsibilty. The party is the poster-child for government regimentation of individual behavior through and through. They do not trust the Mordusians' ability to take care of themselves, and sometimes they rob Mordusians of the oppurtunity to take care of themselves. Do Mordusians want this to happen again?

-The Observer

[Mervyk]

The ESS Makes a Momentous Proposal
The Party Promises to Eliminate the Income Tax


Fireworks of a pinkish hue all aglow in a metropolitan setting.

The Elitist Super Squad has created a bill that will finally end the income tax if passed. The party plans to replace it with sales taxes instead. It would increase investment in the Mordusian economy, leading to lower prices, thus countering the imposed sales tax. In a few decades Mordusians would be living virtually tax free.

"This is undoubtebly a step in the right direction, but I urge Mordusians not to get overexcited," said M.F. Cameron, Minister of Finance. "This is still just an experiment and the results may fall short of expectations. We may have to adjust it afterwards, if only a little bit. But, rest assured, the income tax shall not return -- assuming this bill passes, of course." When asked how the Royal Crown Alliance may react, Mr. Cameron simply replied he did not care.

While Mr. Cameron was preoccupied only with the economical implications of the bill, Lord-Secretary Leopold Saint-Claire was willing to take it to a political level. "This bill perfectly demonstrates the innate superiority of the Mordusian people," said the Lord-Secretary. "While the people of other nations cowardly slave away for their governments like unashamed sheep, we Mordusians are taking action. We refuse to be bullied by anyone. That's how high our principles fly."

-The Observer

[Mervyk]

Mordusians Intrigued by Secret Society

Mordusians are becoming more and more obsessed with the Prieuré de Mordus as the secret society once again met at its headquarters in Port Clemens. Several of its high-profile members include M.F. Cameron, Leopold Saint-Claire, Lysander Strange, and Mervyk the Vogon, the ever elusive Head of State who is also rumored to be the organization's grandmaster. Quite a number of prominent businessmen have also been spotted.


The headquarters of the Prieuré de Mordus in Port Clemens.

What really awed Mordusians though was the fact that the Prieuré was not confined solely to Mordusia, given the organization's name. Many Port Clemens residents have reported seeing "people that looked severely out of place" and "foreign visitors that could not possibly have been tourists." Indeed, the number of international flights going into Port Clemens have increased quite significantly around the established date of the meeting. Although the majority of the Prieuré's members are without a doubt Mordusian, there is enough evidence present to conclude that the Prieuré de Mordus is an international organization.

-The Observer

[Mervyk]

The Media Expands

From the editor in chief:
"The Observer is a very successful newspaper. It is Mordusia's most reliable news source, but that is not enough. So far, The Observer has been confined to reporting local political squabbles -- a fact that is about to change, for I have established the Cameron Broadcasting Corporation or CBC. The CBC shall be reponsible for managing various periodicals and news networks, each with their own unique foci -- a virtual revolution in Mordusian media. The CBC's first original feature is a news magazine, The Omnicorporeal Metapolitical Examiner or TOME. This exciting new feature promises to inform Mordusians of international events and offer a broader view of things. The Observer, meanwhile, shall remain the same.

-The Observer

[Mervyk]

TOME: Mordusia Officially Neutral

The Assembly of Divine Lords, in a rare act of bi-partisanship, has ratified the Mordusian Neutrality Pact, officially making Mordusia a neutral nation. The treaty was created by foreign affairs minister, Adlai Zobel.

"I am glad that the two warring political factions have finally decided to cooperate with each other," said the minister. "Their constant scrapping over political trifles are detrimental to Mordusia's interests." Indeed, the two parties are more known for their battle of ideologies than anything else. Both show difficulties in reacting to a situation productively.

"The treaty itself isn't new," he continued. "It is just a revival of an old treaty of the same name. And, most importantly, it agrees with both their interests." The ESS and the RCA are both dedicated pacifists though they differ in approach. But Mr. Zobel, unlike his political counterparts, seem to be more eager for cooperation. He seems geniunely interested in improving Mordusia's relations with the rest of Terra -- activity was even detected in his ministry. But when asked of his future plans, the minister replied that he had "nothing definite."

Mr. Zobel has also been maintaining a correspondence with the Ministry of Defense for quite some time now. It is not known who contacted whom first, but it is safe to say that it was probably defense minister Lysander Strange. When TOME inquired Mr. Zobel about this, the minister mumbled something incoherently about ships.