Valruzian Press Agency (Walruzyjska Agencja Prasowa)

Re: Valruzian National News -- VNN

Postby LukasV » Sat Dec 10, 2011 9:42 pm

The Mouth of Valruzia (MoV) - November 13th, 3225
BREAKING NEWS: Attempt On Emperor's Life
Story By: Jan Marnowicz, Columnist

-Białograd, Wielkowalruzja

What began as a glorious independence day celebration turned into a panic of screams and echoes of gunfire. On Plac Wolności (Freedom Square) in downtown Białograd, the annual Independence Day Parade was in motion, celebrating the formation of the Valruzian Nation about 1769 years ago. As His Imperial Majesty approached the podium in the square to deliver the annual speech, several hooded figures pushed to the front of the crowd, where, to everyone's surprised, they proceeded to reveal handguns and opened fire at the podium. Needless to say, the Valruzian National Guard proceeded to subdue these individuals immediately, which were then taken into custody and detained. While no civilian casualties were reported, 3 of the Emperor's guard were killed in action. Unfortunately, the Emperor sustained grievous injury during the onslaught, and was immediately hospitalized into intensive care. No further report is available on the Emperor's health at this time.

The terrorists responsible were detained in the Białograd Detention Facility, where it was discovered that their effects were of Kalistani origin. On one of the personal blades of the terrorists, the Kalistani national motto, "In vino veritas", was found engraved into the metal. In addition to this, one of the persons was carrying several notes of Kalistani Rubles, the official currency of Kalistan.

The following statement was issued by the Chief of the Valruzian Intelligence Agency, Lord Tomasz Chelminek:
"...We will not be intimidated lightly. [The terrorists] will be questioned, and thorough background investigations into their pasts will be made, down to every transaction they had made, every interaction they took part in, every breath they took..." "...At this time, we have reason to believe that these individuals were Kalistani extremists, bent on the disruption and upheaval of the very foundations of Valruzia. It remains unknown whether any major foreign body can be linked to these attacks."


While the situation in the Capital remains precocious, the local police and the National Guard are doing everything in their power to keep the peace and to resolve this crisis. This media body will strive to provide updates on the situation as they become available.

Image
Regiments of the Imperial Army march through the downtown core as part of the festivities
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Re: Valruzian National News -- VNN

Postby LukasV » Sun Dec 11, 2011 10:58 am

The Mouth of Valruzia (MoV) - February 25th, 3226
Emperor Comatose
Story By: Jan Marnowicz, Columnist

-Białograd, Wielkowalruzja

Three months after the shocking events of the Independence Day Parade, the nation still feels its repercussions in everyday life. Scarred and disheartened by the actions of only a handful of men, morale has dropped significantly, and faith in the security of the nation has been called into question. To further the pain, reports claim that the majority of the international community does not support Valruzia's embargo on Lodamun, which may be voted upon once more if it leads to aggression from third party nations.

To bring further grief to the nation, Emperor Aleksander I has slipped into a coma, after 3 months at the intensive care unit at Białograd General Hospital. While doctors last week had upgraded his status from "critical condition" to "stable", they are unsure of the circumstances that caused the Emperor, 62 years of age, to go comatose. While his vitals are stable for the moment, doctors will be doing everything in their power to help their ruler.

Due to this tragic turn of events, Lord Chancellor Jerzy Chulbarski will be serving as acting-Emperor, which Lord Filip Walony, the Minister of Foreign Affairs, will assume command as the Head of the Government, until such a time when the Emperor is ready to return to duty.

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His Imperial Majesty is currently under treatment and observation at Białograd General Hospital.

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Kalistani Plot Ruled Out
Story By: Paweł Krysicki, Columnist

-Białograd, Wielkowalruzja

A new report from the Valruzian Intelligence Agency claims that Kalistan can be ruled out of the equation for the terrorist attack in Białograd three months ago. While it was reported that the persons in questions were carrying effects of Kalistani origin, an extensive background search revealed that they did not originate, nor were they ever affiliated with the Free and United Country of Kalistan. The VIA are still conducting extensive checks into their identities, and are unavailable for comment at this time.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

New Developments in Cloning Technology
Story By: Jan Sikora, Science Columnist

-Relonanki, Wielkowalruzja

At the 132nd Annual Valruzian Exhibition, the Relonanki Institute for Cloning Research (RICR) stole the show with their ability to grow specimens at the exact age of their original donor. This means that a 4-year old dog, for example, can be cloned and grown for an incubation period similar to that of the typical gestation period of the specimen, coming out at the exact same age as the original. This technology presents itself as quite revolutionary, and many organizations and institutions are crowding around to buy a piece of the action. One buyer of note is Governor Wilhuff Piett, administrative head of the Chulbark governate and CEO of Second Life Insurance Corporation, who seeks to buy out the competition for this valuable technology.

Image
Governor Piett seeks to hold a monopoly over all cloning technology.
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The Mouth of Valruzia

Postby LukasV » Sun Dec 11, 2011 2:09 pm

The Mouth of Valruzia (MoV) - March 18th, 3226
Valruzia Sets Sights for the Stars
Story By: Jan Sikora, Science Columnist

-Arłuszek, Chulbark

The Imperial Senate of Valruzia decided in session today, to allocate more of the budget spending in the science division on the space program. While Valruzia already has many satellites, both public and private, in orbit, the goal is much larger than media control of space. The National Organization for Space Exploration (NOSE) has deemed that it will begin sending probes to planets and regions beyond our own, in search of intelligent life. Additionally, the Valruzian Space Association (VSA) has declared that it will start putting together manned flights into Terra's orbit, for the construction of a small research outpost. It has yet to be revealed if this outpost will be used jointly with other nations or solely for Valruzia's benefit.

In addition to these future plans, several media satellites were launched into space this morning, along with 2 military satellites. All were deployed successfully, and are fully functional at this time.

Image
Valruzia's Space Program takes off, literally.
Last edited by LukasV on Sun Dec 11, 2011 9:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: The Mouth of Valruzia

Postby LukasV » Sun Dec 11, 2011 9:21 pm

The Mouth of Valruzia (MoV) - May 11th, 3226
BREAKING NEWS: Emperor Dies in Hospital
Story By: Jan Marnowicz, Columnist

-Białograd, Wielkowalruzja

It is a solemn day here in Valruzia, as the First Emperor of Valruzia, Cesarz Aleksander I, died today in Białograd General Hospital. After slipping into a coma in February this year, many prayed for His Imperial Majesty's swift recovery. This result today gives no further solace to the people.

Doctors rushed into the Intensive Care Unit at Białograd General Hospital to find the Emperor's previously-stable vitals going erratic, and then flat-lining. The professionals did everything they could muster for over half an hour to reanimate His Lordship, but they were unsuccessful. The resulting diagnosis of COD revealed that the cardiac septum had ripped, possibly due to a wound suffered during the attack in November, causing internal bleeding and hemorrhaging around the heart, leading to immediate cardiac arrest, and eventually, death.

An official funeral service will be conducted in Białograd later this week. All foreign dignitaries are welcome to attend. Any and all condolences and wishes are appreciated.

Due to the line of succession, the next in line for the throne is Artur Sterzyński, grandson of the late Emperor, son of the late Wiktor Sterzyński, who died in 3221 in a tragic plane crash while returning from holiday in Hulstria. Lord Artur will inherit the throne in 3228, when he reaches 18 years of age. Until that time, full command and authority will be handed to Lord Chancellor Jerzy Chulbarski, who will serve as steward of the Throne of Valruzia until Artur's ascent. Due to this power shift, Lord Filip Walony will be named as Chancellor of Valruzia, with Lord Mariusz Derygowiec filling in as Minister of Foreign Affairs.

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Cesarz Aleksander I the Strong, the First Emperor of the Valruzian Empire, as he will be remembered in the hearts of the people.
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Re: The Mouth of Valruzia

Postby LukasV » Wed Dec 14, 2011 12:13 am

The Mouth of Valruzia (MoV) - June 5th, 3227
Chulbarski Condemns Gaduri Statement
Story By: Jan Marnowicz, Columnist

-Białograd, Wielkowalruzja

Outcries of shock and disgust echoed in the Imperial Senate today, due to a rather critical and mocking statement issued in a recent Gaduri report. While it is no secret that Valruzia is not seeking any form of foreign relations with the Lodatien Republic of Lodamun, the government of Free Gaduridos has openly condemned, insulted, and mocked Valruzia's extensive peace-time military exercises, in addition to the proclaimed embargo on Lodamun. The Gaduri government claims to have insufficient proof as to the nature of Valruzia's decision to isolate Lodamun, and although conclusive evidence has been presented in the form of the intelligence report provided to the Valruzian government, it is still unsubstantiated by their terms. Emperor Jerzy Chulbarski had this to say on the subject:
"...We have provided the international community with all of the knowledge that we have acquired over the past 120 years on the subject of this conflict. Short of desecrating our ancestors and those who fought and died for the freedom of Valruzia by digging up their graves, we cannot provide extraordinary evidence that goes above and beyond what we have managed to gather. If Gaduridos wants more proof, they might as well start investing in time travel and see for themselves, if our evidence is not enough for them."

Many accusatory and provocative quips were made within the Gaduri report, such as:
President Garrus Arterius wrote:"...As well, we would like to ask the Valruzian Empire to end their aggressive public relations war and persecution of the Lodamese government, and to show tangible proof of their allegations against the Lodamun nation."

President Garrus Arterius wrote:...After his discourse, the Consul was asked if this was a response to the Valruzian military exercise. "Such talks are nonsense, Gaduridos doesn't conduct responsive foreign affairs, especially when the nation is Valruzia."

President Garrus Arterius wrote:"...and alleged treaty talks with Kalistan, Baltusia."

President Garrus Arterius wrote:"...These, together with aggressive show of 'power', and hostilities toward Lodamun, are unwanted movements..."

Emperor Jerzy Chulbarski had several things to say about these statements:
"...Gentlemen, this is a test. Moments such as these are matters of patience. To respond aggressively is to invite doubt into everything we believe, everything that we have fought for. Doubt will plunge this country back into chaos, and I will not let that happen. We are a nation of peace, of prosperity, of justice. However, we are a proud and steadfast nation, and we must defend our name with honor and dignity. These comments and allegations by Gaduri President Arterius are as unfortunate as they are unfounded. Valruzia has not allowed for bloodshed of innocent lives. Valruzia has not permitted the destruction of property, the execution of injustices, the invalidation of what it means to be Valruzian. We must stand united in our course for justice, as well as for a brighter future for not only Valruzia, but for Terra as well. To begin, we must account for past injustices, and at least balance the equation..."
"...I read over this report, and I must say I was stopped in my tracks when I came across the phrase, 'especially when the nation is Valruzia.' This strikes me as an interesting turn of speech, especially from one who deemed himself so eloquent in his speech. I must admit, I'm not sure what upsets me more: the blatant attack on Valruzia's integrity, or the arrogance of the Gaduri government in issuing such a statement. Frankly, it's appalling, and I cannot say that I expected this lack of professionalism from the Gaduri government..."
"...Oh, but of course you are correct, [Mr. Walentin Zukowski]. We only provided gestures of treaties to nations like Kalistan or Baltusia so that the Gaduri government could have something to talk about. In all honesty though, the audacity of such an allegation is, what's the word here - thought-provoking. Valruzia is a progressive nation, and we would like to solidify ourselves within North Seleya as a force to be reckoned with, both militarily and diplomatically. If Mr Arterius believes that there are some ulterior motives to these socioeconomic treaties, then perhaps they offer him consolation as he drifts into sleep..."
"...I will be brief. Valruzia will not stop progress because some bad man out there doesn't like us. We will continue to move forward, and we will do so with faith in ourselves, strength, courage, and the motivation of justice. We will not spill one drop of blood in our journey to greatness, but if we are provoked, we will respond in kind. We will not cower behind shields of paper and ink; we will stand united in our faith and in our purpose. Because, ladies and gentlemen, that is what it means to Valruzian."

No international action against the statements of the Gaduri government has been made at this time, nor does it seem to be in consideration for the future. The MoV will strive to report any further updates regarding this situation.

Image
Emperor Jerzy Chulbarski speaks out against the allegations of the Gaduri government.
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Re: Valruzian National News -- VNN

Postby LukasV » Wed Dec 14, 2011 6:00 pm

The Mouth of Valruzia (MoV) - October 19th, 3227
Navy Relocates to Mad Dog Ocean
Story By: Jan Marnowicz, Columnist

-Relonanki, Wielkowalruzja

Having finished their training program in the Southern Ocean, the Valruzian Imperial Navy embarks for the Mad Dog Ocean, to conduct further operations there. Additionally, it is said that Emperor Jerzy Chulbarski himself will be personally accompanying the Fleet in his brand-new Elite Frigate-class vessel, the Eclipse. Personally designed to be the largest Valruzian ship ever built, at half a kilometer long and 200 meters wide, the new ship will make its maiden voyage with the rest of the Valruzian fleet, where it is rumored that it will participate in its new weapons testing. Further details of the fleet's movements and purpose are unavailable at this time.
Image
Concept design of the Elite Frigate-class vessel. Drawing not to scale.
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Re: Valruzian National News -- VNN

Postby LukasV » Thu Dec 15, 2011 1:29 pm

The Mouth of Valruzia (MoV) - March 4th, 3228
Valruzia Stands with Alliance, Against Injustice
Story By: Jan Marnowicz, Columnist

-H.I.M.S. Eclipse, off the coast of Keymon

In a stunning move, the government of Valruzia has decided to stand against the oncoming forces of Deltaria, in an effort to defend a controversy-enveloped Davostan. While Deltaria has been a supporter of Valruzia in the past, Valruzia must take a stand against the ancient ally, in an effort to curb bloodshed and complications involving Davostan. The Valruzian Imperial Navy, having been deployed in the Mad Dog Ocean recently, has now plotted a course for the Aoi Strait, in an effort to set up a blockade against any Deltarian military vessels.

Chancellor Filip Walony had this to say:
"...While it is not our conflict, we must see to it that this be resolved in a peaceful manner. We will force any Deltarian military vessels to turn back at once; any refusal to do so will warrant military action on our part; we are ready to face the consequences of war, if it should lead to that."


Image
Chancellor Filip Walony advocates for the defense of Davostan.
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Re: The Mouth of Valruzia

Postby LukasV » Thu Dec 29, 2011 10:42 pm

The Mouth of Valruzia (MoV) - May 24th, 3235
Navy Safely Back Home, For Now
Story By: Jan Marnowicz, Columnist

-H.I.M.S. Eclipse, Relonanki, Wielkowalruzja

Cries of joy and surprise broke out in Valruzia today, as the Valruzian Imperial Navy docked in at Relonanki, among other costal cities. After over a decade at sea, the men and women of the navy returned to their homeland, unscathed and overly healthy. Despite the lengthy endeavor that ranged from the Southern Ocean into the Mad Dog Ocean and back, the troops appear to be well fed and fit for duty. Many positive reactions were had after this experience, as the military training in the Oceans seemed to have gone according to plan, and no casualties were suffered in the meantime.

While the generally buoyant atmosphere of the nation is happy and content with this, this may prove to be a short-lived celebration. According to certain sources within the government, discussions are now in place for another, more large-scale exercise in the future, though it is unknown when this action might be executed. At this time, the nation's focus has fallen to its returning troops, and the developments that our nation has undergone this past decade.
Image
Crowds gather as the H.I.M.S. Aggressor docks at Relonanki.
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Re: The Mouth of Valruzia

Postby LukasV » Sat Dec 31, 2011 3:40 am

The Mouth of Valruzia (MoV) - January 5th, 3236
Hel FC Wins SuperPuchar
Story By: Damian Fedarowski, Sports Columnist

-Hel, Tormaszek

Residents of Hel took to the streets today as their home team, Hel FC, won the Valruzian SuperPuchar, against the likes of FC Białograd, Górnik Walgodno, and TKS Traczengrad. The final match of the competition was played today at the RuzAir Arena in Hel, Tormaszek, as the home side faced a hardened Górnik Walgodno team, who have conceded only 2 goals in 5 games in the tournament of 16 squads. In this match, most odds favored the away team, based upon their overall performance in the tournament. This was further reinforced when Walgodno's Marek Włodarczyk shot in a goal in the 7th minute of the game, assisted by Daniel Holenderski. Hel was left to fight defensively for the majority of the first half, as Walgodno dominated possession and tried desperately to increase their lead. Several brave attempts were made by right winger Kamil Rentgen, who managed to beat the defensemen on several occasions, only to drive the ball past the post. Hel's keeper, Bartosz Mielarski, had his hands full for the first half, as wave after wave of Walgodno players descented down the pitch in a relentless attack. A close chance was had at the 43rd minute, when Walgodno's Kamil Rentgen crossed the ball into the box for a header for Daniel Holenderski, who was caught offside by the referee's assistant. However, the tempo of the game changed in the second half, when a stunning effort by Hel's Mario Kendar sent the ball down the pitch to left striker Robert Ignacy, who outsmarted the goalkeeper with some fancy footwork and tapped the ball in, leveling the scores at the 72nd minute mark.

Hel struck back with a vengeance, catching Walgodno off guard clinching victory with a spectacular header from substitute David Matens into the right corner of the goal, at the 87th minute. At this point, victory was assured for Hel, as they concluded the match at 2:1.
Image
Amateur photo of David Matens holding the SuperPuchar after the match.
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Re: The Mouth of Valruzia

Postby LukasV » Sat Dec 31, 2011 9:31 pm

The Mouth of Valruzia (MoV) - May 16th, 3236
Hel FC Wins LPN, By One Goal
Story By: Damian Fedarowski, Sports Columnist

-Hel, Tormaszek
One goal from David Matens was enough to secure Hel FC victory on the last day of the soccer season against IKS Ignaczak.

Hel finished with 63 points, tied level with rivals FC Białograd, and took the league title due to a one point difference in goals conceded between the two teams.

"We deserve to be champions," said coach Aleks Komorowski, who was showered with beer by his players in celebration. "We have played the most attacking football in the Liga."

Hel recently won the Valruzian SuperPuchar tournament in a bracing final against visitors Górnik Walgodno, which ended in a 2:1 victory for the home side.

"We have to be careful. It is good that we won today to stay in the rhythm," said Komorowski.

Image
Hel FC celebrate their victory as they take their title as League Champions.

Position Team P W D L F A GD Pts

*1 Hel FC 34 19 6 9 58 41 17 63
*2 FC Białograd 34 19 6 9 58 42 16 63
*3 FK Relonanki 34 16 7 11 53 47 6 55
*4 Gwardia Żmigród 34 16 7 11 57 61 -4 55
5 AKS Krawiec 34 16 6 12 61 55 6 54
6 Wieś Orlik 34 15 8 11 61 53 8 53
7 Górnik Walgodno 34 14 5 15 55 55 0 47
8 FC Podrynek 34 11 13 10 54 45 9 46
9 Galia FC 34 12 10 12 58 54 4 46
10 Legia Czerwionka 34 13 7 14 50 62 -12 46
11 KS Sęczno 34 11 12 11 56 53 3 45
12 BKS Babice 34 13 5 16 54 61 -7 44
13 IKS Ignaczak 34 11 9 14 45 46 -1 42
14 Lechia Smałyrz 34 11 8 15 44 51 -7 41
15 TKS Traczengrad 34 12 5 17 52 62 -10 41
16 Valruz Berej 34 10 9 15 54 61 -7 39
R-17 FC Tirtul 34 10 8 16 54 62 -8 38
R-18 KS Arłuszek 34 6 11 17 53 66 -13 29

+ - Top 8 teams qualify for Valruzian Superpuchar.
* - denotes advancement into Seleyan Champion's League.
R - denotes relegation into 2nd league


OOC: The forums don't allow the posting of .pdf attachments. This is unfortunate.
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