Jelbe

[Zanz]

Cartel reaffirms it has the airliner, doubles ransom demand, claims Gaduridos is 'racist'
September 9, 3982

After the Gaduridan government expressed its doubts that the Jelbék cartels could have hijacked Gadur World Airlines flight 271, which has been missing for some time, the Jelbék cartels struck back with a viral video.

"Fancy Mist' Drumlin, thinks w' can't steal a Irtstri (editor's note: airplane in Jelbék) jus'a'cus' w' don' have too many..." said a visibly irate man in a mask, seemingly the same from the first ransom video.

"He's a racist! He thinks w' Jelbék are only good for horse thieves. W'are good at dat too! Buh we can an' w' did steal dat Irtstri and all dem!" The image cuts here from the masked man to a video of an airplane roughly twenty thousand feet from the ground - indistinguishable from any commercial plane in midflight.

"Ah you can see, w'have your iron bird here in Jelbania. W'have dem Jelbényrkai (editor's note: foreigners in Jelbék) too! Now you'll give us twice the Frnd (editor's note: money in Jelbék) for dem, into a nice ITB account!"

[Zanz]

New source, same violence - corporations and cartels escalate war in the Jelbék steppe
December 9, 3984

The corporate narcotics distributors of Jelbania have survived years of violence and infighting to flood the Jelbék steppe with cheap drugs of all kinds. Previously their supply was imported primarily from the Artanian nation of Ibutho, but the drug-friendly regime there collapsed after few nations beyond Jelbania seemed interested in mass import.

With the collapse, several major distributors went out of business and the local cartels saw a resurgence.

The more resilient corporations, however, sought refuge in the still-cheap exports of ODEN, whose primary member Kalistan offered narcotics of a wider variety than those offered by Ibutho for only marginally higher wholesale prices. With the prospect of ODEN expansion into Jakania in the near future, prices seem sure to drop, perhaps below the costs of Ibutho imports, meaning that in the long term the corporations may emerge from the shift more profitable than ever. Share prices (primarily sold overseas) for many corporate distributors rose with the announcement of the ODEN import deal.

The cartels have reacted as is expected - several corporate distribution centers were hit in coordinated raids on Monday morning, and a corporate freight ship was sunk off the coast of Rilmos with 30 men aboard after an explosion below the waterline. Corporate security has been beefed up, but often corporate security is more occupied with fighting other corporate security forces than with the cartels, and rumors of corruption in the forces are rampant.

Haján rides the length of the Vanukese border alone
December 13, 3984

The Khan of Jelbania has proved his prowess and manly vigor by responding to the recent Vanukese militarization of the border by riding in full war dress along the entire length of the border alone.



Haján Intrsmor Azisrmko Knzmazrk is said to be the finest warrior who ever lived, and has promised to personally kill the first Vanukese to enter the Jelbék steppe in anger.

During the ride, the Haján is said to have ridden so close to the border and so ferociously that the Vanukese earth shook with the thunder of his horse's hooves, sending womanly fear through the hearts of the cowering friends-of-the-Augustans.

The Haján also proclaimed that if the Vanukese battlesuits which "make them look like bugs" will simply lead to the cowering 'lion' being "squashed like a bug."

"Even our horses eat insects," said the Khan.

Finally, he remarked that any man who would call himself "Emperor of the Augustans" is certainly not the heir of Temrkai or Timur Haján, was not Jelbénkai, and was hardly even a man.

[Zanz]

Jelbék Haján Intrsmor Azisrmko Knzmazrk claims title Jelb'koékaiék Mrjkai, asks Electoral Committee to recognize him
October 20, 3986

Intrsmor Azisrmko Knzmazrk has laid claim to the title 'Jelb'koékaiék Mrjkai,' Protector of the Jelbic Peoples, announcing himself formally as 'Mrjkai yrzy Jelb'koékaiék Haján yrzy Intrsmor Azisrmko Knzmazrk' - Khan and Protector of the Jelbic Peoples.

This claim is bound to be controversial, given that the title is technically electoral and is claimed as well by the Vanukese Prince Juhn III, who calls himself the "rightful" Protector and who is embroiled in another title dispute with the Zardics.

Intrsmor Azisrmko has formally requested that the Electoral Committee for the Jelbic Protectorate vote and announce its support for him as the Mrjkai. Never since the first institution of the title by the Deltarian Czar Lubomir Čestibor has the title been claimed officially without a vote of the Electoral Committee. The Vanukese were diplomatic in choosing the terminology "rightful" - but the Jelbék Khan is not renowned for his diplomatic finesse.

The Khan maintains that Prince Juhn III is hardly Jelbic at all, and that the Jelbic Peoples and the Augustans are natural enemies, and thus that Juhn has invalidated his claim to be the protector of the Jelbic Peoples by claiming that he is Emperor of the Augustans as well.

[Zanz]

BLOG: AM MAKING BIG ANNOUNCEMENT

Greeting you everyones!

I am making big announcements.

I am being called Heijinoju Grzkaisrmko Megàmotojokai but you are being able to calling me Heij for nicks. I am maybe being known by you as bigshot owner of vans in village, or maybes as head boss-mans at very prospering Jelbék Bank of the World.


My vans

I am being very populars and so am being asked to making a blog for fancy news companies in Baofluz. Also we are buying fancy news companies in Baofluz with profits, so I am asking myselfs to do it :)

I am liking very much this blogging site. It is letting me use many smiling heads to sharing with you my feelings. :shock: :? 8-) :ugeek: :evil: :idea:

We are going to have us such premium times on my blogs. I am wanting to introducing myself.


Heijinoju Grzkaisrmko Megàmotojokai examining a shoes for indication of Yeudis fakery

I was being born in small yurt near city of Heijtristad not so many winters ago. I am being very enormous in bed, and am having many intercourses. I am having sixteen childrens, and only two are being in the cartels, so you are knowing I am premium parents.

I am legitimate businessman. I am mostly helping Kalopians fishermen with machinery, and also storing vacuums for gentlemens. I am being an experts entrepreneur and am having large fortunes that gives me moneys to purchase my fancy vans and also enjoying many prostitutes.

I am quality Luthorans speaker and am having been bilingual for over sixteen weeks! I am also expert poets in Jelbék but am maybe too shyness to posting here. We are seeing.

OK. I am having to go. Heijmai Heijinojudrsme is having birthing pains and we are needing to summons the shamans. See you soon internets!

[Zanz]

With split vote in Electoral Committee, Jelbék H'án challenges Vanukese Prince to Sbtlshjogad for Protector title
November 18, 3986

The Electoral Committee has split its vote after Jelbék H'án Intrsmor Azisrmko claimed the title Jelb'koékaiék Mrjkai, Protector of the Jelbic Peoples, an ancient honorary title little used in centuries.

Jelbania (5 votes), Pontesi (2 votes), and Deltaria (1 vote) each supported the H'án.

Vanuku (5 votes) and Barmenia (3 votes) each supported the Vanukese prince, Juhn III.

The H'án has thus issued a challenge to the Prince, demanding that Juhn meet him on the steppe for the Jelbic warrior trials known as Sbtlshjogad. It is unclear whether the Prince will accept the challenge, as he is an aging man, though the H'án is as well. It is possible, by Jelbic tradition, to elect a champion to represent yourself on the field. Interestingly, the H'án has refused to elect a champion, claiming that he has the strength of forty men half his age, and that the Prince is no Jelbic.

OOC: Alright, Kubrick, here's my thought:

I start a thread. I put a poll on the thread. I come up with three traditionally Jelbic challenges. We then RP each of our characters doing those challenges, and people vote. OR if someone else (COUGHREDDYCOUGH) wants to come up with the challenges FOR us, that way we could both be learning the challenges and reacting evenly, I'd be happy to do that way! Thoughts?

[Kubrick]

OOC: I'm fine with either, though I personally like the second one as it puts Reddy to work.

[Zanz]

BLOG: JELBANIA FREEDOMS IS DEFENDING, ALSO I AM UPDATING YOU ON MY LIFES

HELLO EVERYONE, IS HEIJ!

I am being unequivocally sorry at not being posting since many days yore. I am having studies in Luthorans and am being very busy, and also am having no internets because fancy Yeudis cafes in Baofluz are kicking me out over minuscule misunderstandings. I am not wanting Yeudis spit in my coffees, is this too much to be asking?

I am having big updates for you since last postings. I am still being enormous in beds. I am very carnal with many womens. I am still being very richness in Kalopians machines and I am also selling my vans. Is too old for me now that I am being big shot blog poster. I am feeling some sadnesses at losing the locations where three of my childrens were assembled, but progressing is progressing as we are saying in Jelbania. Soon I will be assembling more childrens in much nicer vans.


New vans which Heij is buying soon to matching his quality lifestyle

I am also taking up drawings. Here is depiction I made of my horse after he is being post-coitus.


Heij's horse, being drawn in his contemplations

I am of course not forgetting to telling you that Jelbania is defending freedoms for Deltarian brothers and is declaring glorious war yesterdays on girly-girl Zardic Dog Prince Juhn in Vanuku. Our premium H'án is having none of Prince Juhn's shittings, and is very angryness at Vanuku mice for picking on weakling water boats of defenseless Trigunians and Deltarians. H'án Intrsmor Azisrmko is telling Prince Juhns "HEY, you are fighting fishes and shrimps, but you are not being mens! We are here to stopping you!" And so Jelbéks are going to stopping him.

The snooty-tooty Vanukus are thinking that their hundreds of thousands of boys on the borders are going to stopping Jelbéks with their fancy-shmancy premiums tanks and air tanks. But how are they going to stopping our Jelbék warriors, who are the kin of Temrkai H'án, the semen-born of Timur H'án, the scourge of Majatras?


Jelbék warriors, the semen-born of Timur H'án

We are the Jelbéks who united the north Majatras. We are the Jelbéks who will be riding through Wiel and raping the Zardic Dog's womens. We are having none of Prince Juhn's shittings! Our boys to the north are marching!

[Reddy]

Republicans 'Sweep' Kurultai Elections
October 4, 4041

Jelbek republicans have scored a major and historical electoral victory in recent Kurultai (legislature) elections. The leadership of figures such as mining magnate Noh Salyzr in particular is thought to have created the conditions that led to the stunning victory which saw the Republican aligned candidates winning every seats even in staunchly royalist rural and steppe based districts where republicanism is generally regarded as a 'tool of the Devil. Salyzr and a number of other leading individuals in the Republican movement plowed large portions of their personal fortunes into a campaign of unprecedented vitriol and 'industrial scale' vote-buying, according to some. There was no need for such in the cities where the movement had its strongest support from settled Jelbeks and minorities - groups long opposed to the too often tyrannical Jelbek monarchy.


Pre-election rally in Baofluz


The Republicans campaigned on a platform of negotiating Vanukean withdrawal and an end to the occupation and of course installing a republic ,although cautiously perhaps, they promised to uphold traditions and avoid any radical moves in that endeavour. Should they succeed, this will bring down the four hundred year old monarchy which has survived a number of interruptions, instability and economic crises based on passionate support from steppe Jelbeks who traditionally formed a large majority of the population.

[Reddy]

Jelbania A Republic
June 21, 4042

Jelbania has become a Republic after 440 years of nearly completely continuous monarchic rule. The newly elected Kurultai formally proclaimed the country to be a Republic and the Knzmarzk dynasty deposed in a voice vote. A divisive decision given many steppe dwellers’ strong attachment to the monarchy as a symbol of tradition. The Republican controlled Kurultai however did not entirely disregard the feelings of its steppe dwelling cousins and adopted a ‘mixed’ model of a Republic, with a head of state, a Mrjkai (Protector) enjoying life tenure and exercising many of the traditional prerogatives of the Khan such as presiding over resolution of clan disputes, the Great Annual Hunt and other such duties. He will also reside in the Purple Palace, the traditional official residence for a Jelbek head of state.


The new Mrjkai (Protector) of the Federated States of Jelbania

In a final concession, the Republicans offered the position to Temrkai Kostaqsrmko Temrkai-Mede, scion of the Temrkai-Mede dynasty which produced two Khans and ruled the country in the late 3600s and early 3700’s. This was not entirely a concession but also a calculated move given the exiled dynasty’s marital connections to the ruling dynasties of Vanuku and Barmenia. Many hoped that this will translate to an easier negotiation process for Vanukean withdrawal. Temrkai Kostaqsrmko, 61 is fourth in line in the Temrkai –Mede line of succession and served in the Vanukean armed forces and was one of the military governors of Jelbania early in the occupation.

The post while prestigious, will have little solid power, with practically every decision made by the Protector requiring the counter-signature of a Secretary of the Ruling Council, the country’s new Cabinet. The Kurultai for the first time ever, asserted legislative supremacy and the Protector, Ruling Council and judiciary will be subject to control and oversight from the legislature. It will have the autohrity to elect the Secretaries of the Ruling Council, appoint and impeach judges and also elect and impeach the Protector where appropriate. This however remains to be implemented as the finer details of the constitution to be adopted are still be worked out. For now, all agreed to keep a ‘modified form of federalism’ with most rejecting the ‘extreme federalism’ which has laced the country at the mercy of drug cartels and roaming warbands. Thev country is to be called ‘the Federated States of Jelbania’ – the absence of the word ‘Republic’ in the name, yet another concession to monarchists

[Reddy]

Clans Protest 'Tyranny at the Centre'
March 27, 4043

Several Jelbek clans and other traditionalists have loudly protested what they consider to be the developing 'tyranny at the centre'. The clans bitterly oppose the federal government's centralising moves, particularly the re-introduction of the income tax, enforcement of compulsory education and the highly controversial Enfranchisement Act which proposes to restrict voting rights to property owners of a certain net value - a value believed to be beyond the reach of most ordinary steppe folk and the Act would likely result with mostly settled Jelbeks being able to vote.


A Jelbek shepherd

The federal Government's earlier accommodation of the steppe Jelbeks' sensitivities appears to be no more. The Republican government is deeply frustrated with the steppe Jelbeks' resistance at any reform. Many for example have simply refused to pay any income tax whatsoever, despite the Government's vow to prosecute all defaulters later this year. Education officials trying to ensure that children are being sent to school instead of spending the whole day herding sheep and hunting rabbits, have been assaulted and one even killed near Jeztridomura, Perimor - the domains of the notorious Jeztri clan.