Jelbe

National news threads that host the key national news outlets for each of the game’s countries.


Re: Jelbék Prsakijsrlji Lrn (The Jelbanian Purple Stripe)

Postby Zanz » Fri Nov 23, 2018 5:02 pm

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The Jelbanian Purple Stripe is the largest and oldest media outlet in Jelbania. It is written primarily to a foreign and Settled
(Jeztaghényr) Jelbék audience and is often the most critical of traditional Jelbicism.

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1 August 4489
As socialist government claims public ownership of all housing, Jeztaghé
housing proves difficult to locate

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A Jeztaghé yurt, "owned" by the socialist government, but never seen by government agents

KSHI JEZTRIDOMURA, Yamt​ékstan, Confederal Tribal Areas The Public Houses act, which controversially legalized
government seizure of all housing across the Confederation, has proven difficult to implement in the Jeztaghényr
sections of Jelbania and next to impossible in the Jeztaghé tribal areas according to a study commissioned by the
opposition Suadmjekestijogad Prta.

Nearly JEL 35,000,000 has been spent on implementation of the act in just the two months since the act's passage
according to the Report on the Seizure of Homes, published this week by the Institute on Jelbic Public Policy. This
figure makes the piece of legislation one of the most expensive in recent Jelbek history, adding to the bill's dramatic
unpopularity.

According to the Report, in the cities of the north, south, and east, hundreds reported being forced to sell their homes
to the government at a price they deemed to be unfair, and dozens reported being forcibly removed from their homes
by agents of the government. The Report's most insightful conclusions, however, come from the western steppes. The
implementation of the act there has been almost entirely unsuccessful, with a mere 3% of estimated homes actually
seized by the government, and nearly all of those appropriated homes reported as "vacant" immediately post-seizure.
Additionally, the Report concluded that six government agents have been killed or been lost in action during seizure
missions in the Confederal Tribal Areas. These dismal numbers highlight the difficulties faced by generations of
administrations in taming the Jelbek steppe, where the nomadic lifestyle of the Jeztaghé tribes makes government
directives nearly meaningless.

The Report attributes this failed implementation largely to common sense - Jeztaghé Kota, or 'yurts', are mobile
structures which are easily dissembled and relocated at a moment's notice. Socialist policies, successful in other
nations, are heavily reliant upon the efficacy of centralized government action. Government action has historically
been extremely ineffective in the Confederal Tribal Areas, where even highly preventable diseases have proven
remarkably difficult to prevent or treat. In the end, the Report concludes, even with the high funding offered by the
Socialist government, it is impossible to seize a home for which there is no record of existence.

The Suadmjekestijogad Prta, which abstained from voting on the Public Houses act out of what it called a
"recognition of the stupidity of the government", demanded that the policy be rescinded and a full investigation into
the reports of forcible seizure of homes in the Jelbek cities. "This outcome was quite predictable, and yet again we
are caused to weep for the dead men of Jelbania who were killed by her socialist regime," stated a spokesman for
the opposition.
Just a bunch of shit.
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Re: Jelbék Prsakijsrlji Lrn (The Jelbanian Purple Stripe)

Postby Aquinas » Mon Nov 26, 2018 2:06 am

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Re: Jelbék Prsakijsrlji Lrn (The Jelbanian Purple Stripe)

Postby Zanz » Tue Dec 11, 2018 10:03 pm

Image
The Jelbanian Purple Stripe is the largest and oldest media outlet in Jelbania. It is written primarily to a foreign and Settled
(Jeztaghényr) Jelbék audience and is often the most critical of traditional Jelbicism.

Image
3 September 4498
Vanukese and Deltarian influence rejected; Jelbania to pledge allegiance to
native son, God-Emperor Heij of Augustan Empire

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BRNFIÀSRLl, Motalpapaqstan, Free Republic of Jelbania The Great Jelbek Confederation, a creation of the
Rklemjistad Summit System forced upon Jelbania by the nations of Vanuku and Deltaria will soon be a thing of the past.
The Hrltaj voted unanimously to announce its allegiance to Herodoto III of the Augustan Empire, a native son,
popular blogger, and suspected immortal god known more popularly by his Jelbic name, "Heij" (who is also
Minister for Transport of Fortland). This move necessitates the renunciation of the Rklemjistad Summit System, which
the Hrltaj called an "insult to Jelbek sovereignty". Raising an image of the Emperor and Autocrat of the Augustans, all
seventy five members of the Hrltaj spat on images of the Deltarian Von Thaller leader, who many in Jelbania blame
personally for the ongoing suffering of the Jelbanian people.

With the enthronement of Heij, Jelbania takes its position as a Despotate of the Augustan Empire. Few can speculate
what this will mean for Deltarian and Vanukese machinations upon Jelbania, but sources report that the action was
taken without prior notice to either Vanuku or Deltaria. The Hrltaj defended itself in this, stating that Jelbania is a
state free to choose its own future.
Just a bunch of shit.
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Re: Jelbék Prsakijsrlji Lrn (The Jelbanian Purple Stripe)

Postby Rogue » Thu Jan 17, 2019 9:02 am

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Re: Jelbék Prsakijsrlji Lrn (The Jelbanian Purple Stripe)

Postby Rogue » Tue Jan 22, 2019 10:37 am

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