Ikradon

[Aquinas]

Chief Mlungisi calls for a Mallan Emperor of the Augustans

[Aquinas]

Chief Mlungisi bestows knighthood upon Indralan Emperor
August 3607


Collar of the Order of the Great Elephant (2nd class)


Chief Mlungisi took observers by surprise yesterday afternoon by announcing his intention to make Emperor Sima Fanxun of Indrala a Knight of the Order of the Great Elephant (2nd class). "I admire Sima Fanxun for all of the good work he does in Indrala and around Terra," he told guests at his royal audience. "But I do worry that he is working too hard. That is why I want to take a weight off his shoulders and invite him to Ibutho, both so that I can knight him and so that he can enjoy a holiday as my guest."


Emperor Sima Fanxun's new holiday villa in Ugwadule. The family that were living there before have been evicted to make way for him.

"As a further sign of my esteem for him," Chief Mlungisi continued, "I am giving him one of our finest villas as a gift, which he may use for whenever he wants to get away from all the stress of being Emperor in Indrala. Ibutho Airways is on the way to bring him here now, so he can pay homage to me."

One of Chief Mlungisi's listeners was visibly perturbed by the last comment, and asked him to clarify whether the Emperor had consented to travel to Ibutho - let alone to travel on Ibutho Airways, which has the worst safety record for any airline in Terra. To this, Chief Mlungisi responded that "Emperor Sima is a great friend of mine and I'm sure he will not disappoint me". The listener then asked Chief Mlungisi to clarify what he meant by his suggestion that the Emperor should "pay homage" to him. Chief Mlungisi asked what was confusing, to which the listener replied that "according to international etiquette, Your Highness, an Emperor outranks a King or a Chief". To this, Chief Mlungisi retorted that "a god out-ranks an Emperor". In Ibutho culture, Chief Mlungisi, as the chief, is regarded as a living deity.


Dorvish nurse, Geli Steinmeier, pictured with an Order of the Elephant (1st class). She impressed Chief Mlungisi by curing his haemorrhoid problems.

Chief Mlungisi further added that he welcomes the Emperor's support for his claim to the Aldegarian throne. One of his listeners was puzzled by this and asked for clarification, to which Chief Mlungisi responded:

The Emperor said he wants the Shah restored to power, and the Shah, of course, is myself.

[Aquinas]

Top Inyanga promises to cure King Philip's headaches
February 3608


Ndonsa Mabena, Chief Mlungisi's favourite inyanga


Following the retirement of King Philip of Keymon to Ibutho, Chief Mlungisi, ever-mindful of the welfare of his royal guest, has sent his most-esteemed inyanga (OOC: traditional healer/herbalist), Ndonsa Mabena to cure him of the headaches that have been plaguing him.

"I am 100% confident we can eliminate this problem within a few months at most, because Ibutho medicine is so much in advance of the rest of Terra," Ndonsa told us. After consulting with the spirits, he prescribed a daily course of Uodiomemeri Faberdimemedipatuai Uodiomemeri for the King. For overseas readers wondering what this is, we have provided a video demonstration of how this highly efficacious treatment is carried out.



King Philip's arrival in Ibutho has encouraged a surge in interest both from retired people interested in taking advantage of the Retirement in Ibutho scheme and tourists. Bokufika, Ibutho's tourist capital, is becoming particularly busy of late, so much so that town planners have started putting up signs to assist lost tourists.


Hotels, hotels, hotels! New sign in downtown Bokufika


Chief Mlungisi slams "racist" Indralans


Mlungisi Shabangu, Shah of Aldegar

Chief Mlungisi has attacked as "racist and ignorant" the senior Indralan politician, Zhan Yong, who suggested he could not reign as Shah of Aldegar because he is "not a native Aldegarian of the Yazdean faith". "Mr. Yong does not know what he is taking about," Chief Mlungisi told journalists. "Seeking to deny me my rightful claim to the Aldegarian throne on the basis of my race is racist. And what does he mean about me not being of the Yazdean faith? I am of the Yazdean faith, just as I am of the Hosian, Ahmadi and Inkoli faiths. I am a Chief of all the faiths, and this is why I would make the perfect Chief of Terra. What a pity Mr. Yong is too narrow-minded to understand this!"

[Aquinas]

Pretender to the Augustan Throne sets up court in Isizinda

[Aquinas]

Chief Mlungisi congratulates Kyo revolutionaries
August 3608


Painting of the 1892 Ibutho rebellion against Luthori, presented as a gift from Chief Mlungisi to Dankuk's leader, Lee Dong-seung

Chief Mlungisi has become one of the first national leaders to formally recognise the new Kyo revolutionary government in Dankuk (formerly known as Dranland) and congratulate their leaders on "their victory against imperialism". As a token of his esteem for the revolutionaries, Mlungisi has sent Dankuk's Daetonglyeong (Head of Government) Lee Dong-Seung a painting depicting a scene from the great Ibutho rebellion against Luthori rule in 1892.

Mlungisi added:

For centuries, the Kyo have faced discrimination and persecution from the Dranianos. They are the true sons and daughters of their native land, and yet have been made to feel like foreigners and slaves in their own country. Seeing what the Kyo Revolutionary Society has achieved has inspired me to be bolder and assert the rights of my own people more. The Ibutho, too, are a long-oppressed, long-suffering people who have been denied our freedom by the abelungu (OOC: white people). Kundrati, Luthori, Dundorf and Rutania have all, at different times, subjected us to their tyranny and occupation.

Well, now I say it is time for us to receive some...what is that word the abelungu like to use?...Oh yes, "compensation"! On behalf of the Ibutho people, I demand compensation from those countries for centuries of exploitation. Our demands are as follows. Kundrati, Dundorf and Rutania must hand us over 500,000 cattle, 300,000 goats and 250,000 sheep each. And Luthori must surrender to us the Grand Duchy of Yodukan. If this compensation is not forthcoming, we will be sending raiding parties to extract it by force forthwith.

[Aquinas]

Ibutho launches raids across Luthori border
Thousands of cattle and sheep taken in plunder
December 3609


Rustling Luthori cattle


Seizing Luthori sheep

They came in the dead of night, as farmers on the Luthorian side of the Luthori-Ibutho border were fast asleep in their beds. Stealthily and almost silently, an elite band of Ibutho impis descended upon farm after farm, rustling as many animals as they could - mainly cattle and sheep. "It all happened so fast," complained William Finlay, a cattle farmer who was targeted. "Before anyone could raise the alarm, they'd been and gone."

Chief Mlungisi is exultant. "The Luthorians cannot complain they were not warned," he said. "I told them to pay us tribute...er...I mean...to pay us compensation for the centuries of subjugation they have inflicted upon us. They just laughed at us. What was I supposed to do? Nobody laughs at Chief Mlungisi. So I sent my impis round to teach them a lesson. But all I really did was take what was mine. That's all."


Luthori's new security precautions

On the advice of local police, farmers in the border areas have begun installing CCTV cameras and taking other steps to improve their security. After being informed about the CCTV cameras and having it explained to him what they are (which took a good 40 minutes) Mlungisi called for the international community to "take action against the witchcraft the Luthorians are trying to use against my fine warriors."


Dundorfian security agent preparing to leave Ibutho

Mlungisi also railed against the Dundorfian security agents who had been loaned to him by Dundorf for his personal protection. "Those Dunforfian warriors are cowards, absolutely useless!" Mlungisi complained. "As a test of their loyalty to me, I asked them to take part in the raid to assist with operations. They refused, saying it 'went against their protocols' and all this other baloney! So I took away from them all the Ibutho wives I'd given them and sent them back to Dundorf. I don't want them. What's the point in having warriors if they won't fight for you when you ask them to fight?"

[EEL123]

Powerful Silongo Chief dies
March 3, 3610

Siboniso Silojgo, the Chief of the mighty Silongo tribe, died today at the age of fifty-two (give or take a couple of years, as the accuracy of Ibutho records, if they exist at all, are questionable) after just five years on the chiefly throne. Eyewitnesses, who asked to remain anonymous, reported that the Chief was struck by lightning at a lengthy, rowdy revelry during which he was serious inebriated. However, as Ibutho cultural norms suggest that those killed by lightning suffer death in such a manner due to their unsavoury deeds, it is understandable that senior Silongo elders sought to cover up Chief Siboniso's true cause of death, and have now disseminated the message that the Chief was killed by "particularly brutal and malevolent Luthori farmers" raiding Silongo lands in retailiation for the seizure of their cattle several months ago. Those with the Chief during his death were secretly rounded up and sacrificed to the gods by being strangled by their entrails (although, as a concession to humanitarian concerns, they were apparently beaten unconscious before being eviscerated) to cover up the true story. Impartial sources have confirmed that an unauthorised Luthori raid did indeed occur on the night of the Chief's death, but in a totally different region of Ibutho. A month of mourning has been declared; this entails a prolonged ritual of wailing and (often simulated) grief.

Sakhile, the eldest son of his father Siboniso, will now take over temporarily as Chief. Unlike most Ibutho tribes, the Silongo do not automatically elevate the Chief's first son to that position. Upon the death, removal or (very rarely) abdication of a Chief, a new Chief is elected from the ranks of and by the lesser chiefs of the constituent clans, tribal elders, warriors and witch-doctors, as well as the previous Chief's immediate family. Given the nature of Ibutho society, these elections bear little resemblance to the orderly process of ballot-casting and vote-counting followed by the somewhat less orderly process of exultant victory speeches and insincere concessions that occur in developed democracies, but are instead secretive affairs shrouded in mystery, tradition and an unhealthy amount of fraud and coercion.

There are no formal nominations, but foreign experts have cast their gaze on three leading candidates for the post. Sakhile, the interim Chief, possesses charisma and martial prowess as well as an impeccable pedigree - but he is considered somewhat dull, if not plain stupid. Vusumuzi, is a leading tribal elder and leading traditionalist who disapproved of Chief Siboniso's modernising instincts (and narrowly avoided exile or worse as a result). On the other hand, Nolwazi, one of a rare breed as a female seriously considered for the post of Chief, was supportive of the Chief's initiatives, which were aborted due to this early death, and was one of his closest confidants. She is also known for her suspicion of, or even ouright hostility towards, other Ibutho tribes, and relatively friendliness to white foreigners - and ominously for High Chief Mlungisi, is believed to covet the leadership of the entire Ibutho nation.

[EEL123]

New Silongo Chief elected
March 27, 3610

The powerful Silongo tribe of eastern Ibutho has elected a new Chief after the death of the previous Chief, Siboniso Silongo. In a process sufficiently full of intrigue, betrayal, and smoky-room deals to fill a not insubstantial library of tabloids and trashy novels, Nolwazi Silongo, a powerful tribal elder and a close ally of Chief Siboniso, has been invested with the status and (perhaps more importantly) the authority of Chief, making her the first female to lead the Silongo in centuries.

In a deliberate affront to the High Chief, Mlungisi Shabangu, the ceremony at which Nolwazi became Chief was obviously modelled on Chief Mlungisi's coronation, more than a decade ago, hinting at Chief Nolwazi's semi-secret ambition to displace Chief Mlungisi as the leading figure in Ibutho life. Chief Mlungisi was unamused at the snub, according to insiders, and declined to send his congratulations to the newly elected Chief despite the installation of a smoke signalling device at his palace which supplants the less advanced courier service. (Of course, still more advanced technology like telephones exists, but the High Chief will not touch such devices, despite the vehement pleading of desperate salesmen from foreign telecom companies, for whom his conversion to modern telecommunications would be a major advertising boon.)

Although it is unclear how the new Chief will exercise her new-found powers, it is believed that she is more receptive to technological and political change and modernity than most other Ibutho (although it would be utterly wrong to describe her as anything other than cautious in this regard, and social change is anathema to her - she is intensely conservative) and may attempt to seek greater co-operation foreigners living in coastal Ibutho - essentially trading the substantial mineral and oil wealth of eastern Ibutho for support in her bid to unseat Chief Mlungisi as the centre of political power in Ibutho (although one is inclined to suspect that she might not mind a bit of the wealth as well).

[EEL123]

Chief Nolwazi takes on Chief Mlungisi
April 13, 3510

The newly elected Chief of the Silongo tribe, Nolwazi Silongo, has taken on the High Chief, Mlungisi Shabangu, in Parliament today. Her Protection of Living Spritis Act, a firm anti-abortion bill, is largely in line with the views of most Ibutho people. However, a more controversial proposal was the Security and Law Enforcement Act, which radically devolves policing and military power to the tribes. Although apparently not in line with her relatively forward-looking views on political organisation, Chief Nowlazi has always been suspicious of the Chief Mlungisi's central government and will make an exception to her modernising agenda whenever it enables her to weaken her opponent's political domination. In a defiant speech which personally criticised Chief Mlungisi in fairly harsh terms, Chief Nolwazi stated that

"We, the Ibutho people, are proud of our independence: our independence from foreign domination and independence from the centralised bureaucratic rule that stifles the lives of foreign peoples alike. We do not believe that it is proper, in a society like ours, for the government, sitting far removed from the people which it rules, in open contravention of the traditional principles of governance which have hitherto characterised the political life of our society, to hold a monopoly of legitimate force, to dictate against whom and in what circumstances we may bear arms. That is not the Ibutho way! That has never been and never will be the Ibutho way! We need no instructions from on high to protect ourselves against our brothers, our brothers against our cousins, and our cousins against strangers. We need no instructions from on high to enforce in our own way our idiosyncratic laws which are best suited to our tribe but perhaps not the next tribe. We need no centralised court system that rides roughshod over the traditional institutions of justice and of community. We need no national army, or national police force. They are the tools of subjugation, the subjugation of the Ibutho people. We have neither need nor desire for them. We seek the awakening of the Ibutho people to the world, to the modern world, but we will not be party to any process which, under the guise of modernisation, seeks to find the worst of modernity and to impose it on an unwilling nation. We will not countenance a situation wherein the highest of all Ibutho chiefs will not dare to touch a telephone, but is willing to use the tools of the modern state to obliterate the traditional and ancient liberties of our people. To this, we say no! No!"

A spokesperson for Chief Mlungisi offered no comment, other than to say that the statements by Chief Nowlazi were "unusually stupid".

[Aquinas]

Chief Mlungisi asks for Nolwazi's hand in marriage
August 3610


Chief Mlungisi

Over recent months, Chief Mlungisi's advisers have been urging him to "do something" about his troublesome rival Nolwazi. His wives have reportedly asked him to behead her, and Dundubala Shabangu, his Interior Minister, has reportedly suggested sending her into exile. Well, this morning Mlungisi finally did do something - but it was not what those around him were hoping or expecting.

"Nolwazi is clearly a very strong, very able lady who possesses all the qualities in an Ibutho woman I admire," Mlungisi told a press conference. "She is strong-willed, she is passionate, she is intelligent, she is beautiful and she has a fine body replete with ravishing hips and breasts that could hold enough milk to raise three dozen babies. She even knows how to get on with the abelungu (OOC: whites), and we all know how difficult they are to understand. And it occurs to me that she would make the perfect wife to have reigning with me at my side. So I have sent an invitation to Nolwazi and her brother to visit me, so we can discuss the details of a marriage alliance."

According to insider sources, Mlungisi has offered Nolwazi's brother Sakhile a lobolo (OOC: bride price) of 2000 cattle, 3000 goats and 5000 chickens in return for permission to wed his sister.