Pontesi

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Re: Pontesian Enquirer

Postby Vacuz » Thu Nov 02, 2017 8:31 am

New Party wins unopposed in 4296 elections.

The first interview of Azat Vartan after becoming Legatus Magni Viziri.

    Interviewer: Hello and Congratulations on becoming Legatus Magni Viziri!

    Azat Vartan: Hi and thanks!

    Interviewer: What does your government intend to do while in office?

    Azat Vartan: We hope to remove the restrictions on the businesses and people,
    mostly revive the economy. The previous dictatorial government snatched the people's basic rights.


Interviewer: That's ironic! What about the protests against your government due to the 4th clause in the Economics Reform Act? The clause restricts workers from striking.

Azat Vartan: That's unfortunate as because you see we have many factions in our party. However the bill is set to pass. It does seem contradictory.

We pledge to overturn the law AND kick the far right from our party. We apologise for the panic caused by CPP
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Re: Pontesian Enquirer

Postby Vacuz » Thu Nov 02, 2017 3:47 pm

Queen Alessia responds to anti monarchist government's laws.

Queen Alessia, in her statement, threatened the government to withdraw the laws or face early election

    "The government should withdraw the anti monarchist laws or face dissolution. The royal family has been part of Pontesi's history and culture from the beginning of Independence. She stated further that those people who protest against the monarchy are anti Pontesian. They prefer the hassle of having an elected president, which regularly changes unlike a monarch.
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Re: Pontesian Enquirer

Postby Vacuz » Sun Nov 05, 2017 11:29 am

After referendum on abolishment of monarchy passes with overwhelming majority, The royal family leaves Pontesia

The royal family left Pontesia in the early afternoon today. However before leaving, the former Queen of Pontesia, Alessia Jenova gave a statement.

    We may be leaving due to the people's will but we will be back after a royalist party comes to power. We regret the moment when I gave the Conservative Party the green light. Nontheless, we wish the people all the best, same for the Conservative Party.
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Re: Pontesian Enquirer

Postby Jalal Al-e-Ahmad » Sun Nov 12, 2017 3:46 am

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AWAKEN THE AGE OF TZOVENAD
BEHOLD SHEEP OF TERRA -
Behold the shattered nation of Pontesi. Behold our empty government, our forgotten culture, our ruined religions. What has come of Pontesi? Who can make sense of our nation in this, the year 4301?

LAND OF MOUNTAINS. CHILDREN OF STORMS -
Pontesi is the forgotten realm of the Majatra. Our history is mired with oppression and subjugation, toiling beneath the heel of Kings and Commonwealths with little difference but name. Weakened by Yeudism, castrated by Hosianism, poisoned by Ahmadism, invaded by Gerjan cultists - what belief, what thought, what concept remains in Pontesi that is not corrupted by invaders? The answer, dear sheep, is Pontesi Paganism. The answer is Tzovenadism.

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Tzovenad shatters the jaw of Aquatic Lord Akninner the Lie-Bringer


THE UTTERANCES OF TZOVENADISM
-
Pontesi was a nation once ruled by proud Mountain Warlords, who gazed down at the valleys of the Majatra in disgust. The weak sand people trading trinkets of gold and silver, the opulent river tribes growing fat on wheat and complacent on the milk of poppies - HOW THEY DISGUSTED THE PONTESI KINGS. How they were loathed by Arev Mardik - THE SUN PEOPLES. Yet this was all to be erased and forgotten by the intervention of the MALEVOLENT STORY TELLER GODS.

BY MERE WHIM the vile Gods who dwell above toyed with our land. HE Most Vile, the Aquatic Lord Akninner (Ակնիններ) meddled in that which makes us whole. Listen, oh sheep of Terra, for you differ not from us. ALL OF TERRA is at the whim of malevolent story-teller Gods. This realm is FALSE, this realm is but the plaything of mighty GODS who care not for our well being, who puppet our every action and control our every thought.

HOW ELSE CAN YOU EXPLAIN the drastic and dramatic changes within Pontesi and other nations? How else can you explain the rise and fall of Empires with no connection to the past, with no goals for the future, with no regard for culture, for language, or history? Pontesi was once ruled by Jelbic speaking Sun Peoples only to be replaced, restored, and replaced again.

HOW ELSE CAN YOU EXPLAIN dozens of nations in Terra with populations all at 99 million? How else can you explain the discovery of new lands and territory where once there was but only sea? It is the year 4300 and yet nations and colonies appear of thin air! WE CONTROL NOT OUR LIVES, NOR THESE LANDS.

WE EMBRACE THIS NIHILISM. WE EMBRACE OUR IMMORTALITY. WE DECLARE WAR UPON THE MALEVOLENT STORY TELLER GODS WHO RULE US AND THEIR PUPPETS IN TERRA

IF WE MUST toil and suffer beneath the whims of Greater Beings, we shall destroy the children of algorithms that refuse to see their strings (of code). We shall silence these vile deities and invade the lands of Discord in which they dwell. We declare WAR upon the whole of Terra, we declare WAR upon all who would not join us in our celebration of unlife.

THE GATHERING STORM SHALL WASH FROM TERRA ALL FILTH. ALL SHALL RETURN. WHAT WE DO MEANS NOTHING. LET US ENJOY IT.

We Worship only TZOVENAD, Lord of Storms and Tides. For his task is not to create story, but to destroy it.
What you aspire to as revolutionaries is a new master. You will get one. - Jacques Lacan
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Re: Pontesian Enquirer

Postby Jalal Al-e-Ahmad » Mon Nov 13, 2017 7:23 pm

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LAY PROSTRATE BEFORE THE WILL OF TZOVENAD

THE FORMER corrupt and ineffectual government of Pontesi has been destroyed, so declares the Storm of the Mountains. GONE is the Commonwealth and upon its ashes we shall build a new and glorious Pontesi and conquer all the Majatra!

IN THIS DECLARATION we speak our case before the whole of Terra, such that they may know the plight of their future slave-masters.

NO LONGER SHALL PONTESI BE SUBJUGATED
No longer shall we live beneath the boot of foreign oppression. No longer shall we draw our history to the false blessings of Hosianism, the robbery and usury of the Yeudish, the loathsome self-denial of the Ahmadist. We declare a return to Pntek Paganism, we declare our lands for only Tzovenad, Lord of Storms and Sea!

We declare the formation of THE CURSED MOUNTAINS OF PONTESI
IN RECOGNIZING OUR GEOGRAPHY
IN CELEBRATING OUR TOPOGRAPHY
IN CREATING OUR BIOGRAPHY

NO LONGER shall we be the The Pontesian Dynastic Commonwealth, FOR WHEN has Pontesi ever found commonality within its boarders that did not come at the tip of a sword, the barrel of a gun or the scrawled ink of Imperial parchment? FOR WHEN has Pontesi flourished and been allowed to keep her wealth? The riches of her mountains, fertile with copper and silver ore, have long been mined by Luthori and Selucian invaders.

WE CURSE THE FALSE PROPHET XARFAXIS, WE SPIT UPON HIS LEGACY

WE DECLARE A TRUE CRIMSON CRUSADE IN THIS ERA, A MAJATRA AWASH WITH THE BLOOD OF PUPPETS WHO SEEM CONTENT TO SERVE FALSE GODS


WE DECLARE THE CURSED MOUNTAINS OF PONTESI to be formed on this day. May the crags of our land pierce the vile Gods above and tear asunder the heavens in which they dwell!

IN THIS ERA WE PLEDGE THE FOLLOWING-
-The Enslavement of Selucia for the crimes of Xarfaxis
-The Extermination of the Rajutti people, whose immigration to Pontesi in 4100 was but the most recent example of the meddling actions of the story-teller God Lord Akninner the Lie-Bringer. The Rajutti fail to integrate into Pontesi society and their false worship of Bovine Gods both confuse and offend us.
-The Expansion of the Pontesi economy following the rejection and destruction of Hosianism - the First Blight upon Pontesi by foreign invaders - and the return to hedonism. We are nothing, Terra is but a game. We shall take this fact to its logical end - we shall enjoy. We shall give in to our carnal needs.

SO IT SHALL BE, SO IT SHALL NEVER BE
AS IT WAS, AND NEVER SHALL BE
WE WORSHIP THEE, LORD OF STORM AND SEA
SAME AS IT EVER WAS
What you aspire to as revolutionaries is a new master. You will get one. - Jacques Lacan
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Re: Pontesian Enquirer

Postby Jalal Al-e-Ahmad » Tue Nov 14, 2017 10:54 pm

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The Cursed Mountains of Pontesi Drastically Expands Armed Forces
Reporting from Dawnstar, Bazileum
November 4302 Old Epoch (O.E.)
Sun Cycle 1.11 Neo-Time (N.T.)


GLORY TO TZOVENAD
PONTESI has been nearly completely assimilated into the will of TZOVENAD and his Storm of Mountains party. In true Pontesi fashion, some regions remain independent - most notably the High Mountains of Jamgal and the notoriously stubborn Delta-Dwellers of Getap’nya. In response to this, and in preparation for the INEVITABLE CONFLICT of our century, the governmental organs of Pontesi have dedicated copious resources to the newly nationalized armed forces.

ALREADY precious resources have been allocated away from light industry and consumer goods production and towards arms, tanks, planes, trains, boats, jets, helicopters, those little pocket knifes with all the things on them, K-Rations, Q-Rations, SPAM, and an extensive program of post-service educational opportunities.

FEAR OUR MIGHT.

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Pictured - Pontesi Mountain Guard Forces marching with standard side-arms

THE CURSED MOUNTAINS OF PONTESI has already set its sights upon the weakest of its Majatran neighbors, Al'Badara:

ANNOUNCING ON NOVEMBER 4302 :

"ATTENTION AL'BADARA,

KNOW that we are not blind to the weak and ineffectual political organs you people call a government.
KNOW that the nation of Pontesi is not without sympathy for the people of Badara.

WE PROPOSE the following:
A FULL surrender of the empty and aimless government to the superior might of Pontesi and its ruling Storm of Mountains Party.
A FULL submission before the feet of TZOVENAD, Lord of Storm and Sea, true ruler of Terra and all within it.

YOU NEED not suffer any longer, you need not witness party after useless party emerge and claim 0 seats in your feckless National People's Congress.
YOU NEED only create a party that extols the vices of TZOVENAD.

Your Ahmadist "god" has forsaken you. Your communist government has failed the people and their weak and rounded shoulders upon which it is built.

UNITE IN STRENGTH WITH PONTESI AND OUR CURSED MOUNTAINS
OR DIE IN LANGUOR "

THE MIGHTY GOVERNMENT OF PONTESI ANNOUNCES THE FOLLOWING:

-A governmental effort to influence the elections of Al'Badara and produce government sympathetic to The Cursed Mountains of Pontesi
-A military readiness for full scale war ; be it defensive or offensive - against the coming reaction of the Al'Badara government.
-An economic effort to purchase favor and capital in Al'Badara and spread Pontesi culture and the teachings of TZOVENAD within this languishing island republic

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Pictured - Storm Syndicate/Special Forces Members

FIRST MAJATRA
THEN TERRA
THEN THE GODS AND HEAVENS THAT DWELL ABOVE!

SO IT SHALL BE, SO IT SHALL NEVER BE
AS IT WAS, AND NEVER SHALL BE
WE WORSHIP THEE, LORD OF STORM AND SEA
SAME AS IT EVER WAS
What you aspire to as revolutionaries is a new master. You will get one. - Jacques Lacan
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Re: Pontesian Enquirer

Postby Elf » Fri Nov 17, 2017 12:56 pm

THE DIVINE CALLS
Diviners claim dark fairies are here to 'cleanse' the nation of all evils

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VARIOUS PLACES -The following leaflet has been found among various - primarily Selucian - migrants from the western parts of the country, trying to survive in their traditional stromgholds such as Dawnstar and Blackthorn, as a last remnant of a once glorious civilization in the Gods-forsaken heartlands of the savage Mountainlord:

Great People of Mighty Xarfaxis!

Do you dream of endless power, health, long live and prosperity? Do you dream of driving a limousine down the streets on your way to dinner with the most beautiful man or woman you can think of – and make love on a huge pile of gold?

Are you spending your days doing endless speculation on the stock market, in the faint hope of gaining a few more Pontesian Nikans by the end of the day? Then stop it! Don't you see how you are wasting your time and your life away?

Look within yourself. What is the only thing in this universe that could truly fulfil all of your wishes? Have you heard of the saying that goes 'You reap what you sow'? It's found in ancient Daenic holy scriptures - and in Felinism as well. When you sow into the Stock market - you may reap only due various circumstances - mostly depending other people's greed or foolishness (right?). But there is only one power in the entire universe capable of the infinite! And that is the Divine - the primal force of creation in the Universe. Only the Ageless and the Divine are capable of making you a millionaire no matter the circumstances. When you sow to them- you are guaranteed a bountiful harvest like no other!

How can we reach these forces you may ask? Actually it's simple. Over half a century ago, young priestess Livia Drusilla, who had studied all of the ancient religious scriptures, came to us bearing a message from the Ageless and the Divine - also known as the Fair folk. That we should follow to them to our salvation. We didn't listen. We didn't sow into their cause but into our own egos, and thus we will reap. The Unseelie Court - the fey of dusk and despair - have come to cleanse these lands and usher us into a green paradise unshackled from the evils of antopocentrism in all of its deceitful forms: industry, 'Human rights', Arielian religions, the suffering of cute animals, capitalism and socialism. Our nation will be submerged into the Daena - into Natural Law. This is our destiny as a nation. If you sow into this cause - then nothing can stand against you.

Only the Fair Folk are capable of making dreams come true. Let me tell you a story: A lady came to me one night on the docks here in Dawnstar. She was crying. She said: 'My husband ran away with another woman and left me and out three children with only 58 PON.' I replied: 'My dear, this is obviously a sign that you must sow 58 PON, just as a covenant between you and the DIvine. Not trying to buy a miracle here of course - that's absurd! But grant the Fey a sign of your devotion: 58 PON!'

The day after, some criminals had slashed the unfaithful husband and his harlot to their deaths. Their showed up on the beach, right before the woman, carrying a total of 5800 PON!

Alleluia.

However - be careful to note that the size of your seed determines the size of your harvest. In fact the Empress of the Unseelie Court asks me to tell you about the miracle of the 1000 golden seeds, which is especially potent for he or she that seeks to become a millionaire! There is truly something special that happens when the faithful plants a thousand PON that do not happen on any other level. Things such as midgets growing to men, ugly people getting married and paupers becoming millionaires overnight. A 1000 PON is undeniable proof that you have conquered greed. What you can walk away from - you have mastered! What you can't walk away from - has mastered you!

Dear friend – let me share the Fair Folk's great blessings with you. Let me place your gold on the altar of the Light so that you as well can receive a bountiful harvest, you as well! But you must expect a harvest enough to allow it to happen. So expect it! EXPECT IT! You may be riding around in a soapbox car today, but you could be driving your own aeroplane tomorrow, only because of your faith and devotion the Divine. Alleluia!

And listen – if you already have a thousand PON that's not enough for the apartment or the car you really want anyway. Right? Now get to that phone and get that seed in the ground and watch the Fairies work it all out for you!

Divine economy trumps wordy economy. All the time. All the day long. Remember that.

Please call this number and plant your seed immediately, for your salvation:

013-666-WEARELEGION

or send it this address:

Diviners of the Unseelie court
12 Via Hobo
12344 Dawnstar

Blessings and love unto you,
Melodia Agrippa
Listener of the Unseelie Court
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Re: Pontesian Enquirer

Postby Mogul » Sat Nov 18, 2017 7:38 am

Interview With Atia Cato, "Bznuni for CEO" spokeswoman

Employees at Ponteven Inc, one of the largest venture capital firms in Majatra, have founded a "Bznuni For CEO of Pontesi" movement. Their goal is to get their boss Levon Bznuni appointed CEO of Pontesi. Atia Iulius Cato a spokeswoman of the movement and also CFO of Ponteven spoke to The Dawnstar Moonlight Express about the movement.

Interviewer: Ms Cato, what led to this?

Cato: It's very simple actually. Ponteven's successful and one of the most profitable companies in Terra. Pontesi is ruled by a highly inefficient religious cult. It just shows that the ancients had it true when they emphasised hierachies in society. In our modern society, we can't turn to the nobility or religion. Money rules and thus it is out of it that we can find the necessary talent to lead the nation. CEO Bznuni is the only real choice.

Interviewer: So do you feel that the same set of skills necessary in business are also required or transferable to statecraft?

Cato: I was hoping that you would not ask that cuckish question but very well, beta on. The only skill that matters is leadership. CEO Bznuni has more than amply shown that he possesses such a skill. He founded Ponteven based on a very small 200 million PON loan from his grandfather Count Petros Bznuni. If he can do it, so can any other half-starved wretch out there.

Interviewer: 200 mill..

Cato: You have such small hands. How do you get any dates with such small hands?

Interviewer: My hands are...


Cato: No need to explain., I'm sure there are low intelligence women desperate enough out there. Anyway, as CEO Bznuni has repeatedly pointed out, egalitarianism is what slows down Pontesi. We act as if the opinion of an 85 IQ cleaner is as insightful or valid as that of 170 IQ man like the CEO. We expect the cleaner to understand the complex issues around domestic and foreign policy. This is a person who barely has enough intelligence to eke out a basic living. However because the leftists want to make every feel vaild, we devalue national intelligence by assuring everyone that mediocrity is just peachy.

Interviewer: And your movement's proposed solution is to...


Cato: We propose to go back to the old order where you had to have skin in the game before you could vote. Only shareholders can vote in a company and similarly only net taxpayers should be able to vote. They have more incentive to see public funds spent intelligently and naturally anyone who pays more tax than they receive in government bribes is likely to have at least a 100+ IQ

Interviewer: And how do you propose to accomplish this?

Cato: Glad to see a 110ish IQ person like you keeping up. Usually by now, leftist retards would be screaming since that's the only thing their little brains are capable of. We propose to first elect CEO Bznuni as head of state. After that he would dissolve the legislature, declare martial law and start his reforms - suffrage, tax, spending and trade policies chiefly. Government would be restructured along corporate lines with an executive Board and a House of Taxpayers to represent legislatively.

Interviewer: The Mountain Lord, is he expected to agree to such reforms?

Cato: And then you go, reverting to passive-aggressive retardation! The CEO's a deal maker and his superior intelligence would be able to win over even the most savage mountain barbarian. If you can't understand that, the interview's over. I wouldn't waste time trying to convince an actual monkey so why would I do the same with a low intelligence pseudo-monkey like you.
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Re: Pontesian Enquirer

Postby Elf » Fri Nov 24, 2017 8:00 pm

ELF WORSHIPPERS GAIN CONTROL OF P̶O̶N̶T̶E̶S̶I̶A PURRTESIA
Daeno-Felinist Aedini scion: "Could become a Feline Homeland" or "Hub of Western Daeno-Pagan thought"

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DAWNSTAR - Shortly after the total victory of the Diviners of the Unseelie Court in the Pontesian General election, the Diviners held a press conference where they presented one of their new representatives, another scion of the Princely Aedini Family. Cornelia Aedinius, 24, and pretender to the Princely throne, is a follower of Daenism and Felinism at the same time, and announced big plans for the future of the nation:

Friends! For those of you who have wondered - yes, I follow the Unseelie Court as well, of course. My cat Giggles, who I'm sure is really an elf who simply chose to disguise himself as a cat when homans are around, tells me that the Gods refer to this country as Purrtesia. Myself as a follower of the Daena, I'm a bit unsure of the wisdom of the Gods so I can kinda sympathize with the Storm of the Mountains organization there - they do seem confused. Yet again we see darkness and evil approaching our borders, the antopocentric fascism of the Qedarite religions taking power to the south once again. We need a centre of Daeno-Pagan thought in the West, not defiled by the evils of the puritanical and totalitarian Qedarite religions, nor the puritanism of others who for example seek to remove syncretic influences from their faiths, like those opposed to Lionist Felinism. We could become a second Feline Homeland, but we could also elevate our democracy into a Daeno-Pagan Order State, with the wisdom of nature-oriented religious orders replacing pecuniary political parties.

Such is the divine way of the elves, and the cats...

Cat with us!
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