Dorvik

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Re: Dorvish News Service (DNS)

Postby Pragma » Sun Nov 12, 2017 4:15 pm

Renewal Fails To Win South

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In disappointing and underwhelming results for the Renewal party, they have only managed to win 55 seats, and could only manage 3rd place in the pragmatic heartland of the South. With TGP appealing to more hawkish voters, while having similar religious and conservative positions, the South - particularly non-CotS members - went overwhelmingly to the largest party. In more disheartening news for the new party, Renewal's leader Samantha Reder only managed fourth place in the Presidential election, a far fall from the days of Gretchen.

Though the election proved disastrous for Renewal, the party may now be in the position of kingmaker. The unprovoked and hostile response to the party's formation by the TGP, an enemy of the pragmatic tradition, may make Renewal gravitate towards the Left and the Communists, on the condition that they moderate themselves accordingly. Alternatively, they could take a place in cabinet alongside the TGP, with the other minor conservative parties. Renewal, however, does not trust the AfD because of their history of supporting early elections.

Renewal will still push forward its agenda, and see if it floats into government. It was once the case that pragmatic parties would cruise into government as by far the largest conservative party, but this is not the case today. Renewal's policies of moderation and minimal regulation did not appeal to the South enough, but Reder will carry on as party leader and hope to build up the party's base in time for the next elections in four years time. Until then, Renewal sits is a potentially powerful position, but not powerful enough.
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Re: Dorvish News Service (DNS)

Postby menkiller755 » Sun Nov 12, 2017 8:58 pm

TGP wins snap election! Edmund Treitschke the new president

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TGP supporters celebrating after victory in the streets of Ussendorf

The TGP has once again become the biggest party in the Rat. After initial fears by the party that the Renewal party would take back the south their main core it has proven not to be the case.
Although the TGP lost seats since the last election just a few months before they are still the biggest party in the Rat and after deciding to run for president in the election this time the party leader Edmund Treitschke has won the presidency with valued NP support.

The TGP is now the dominant force in the south and they seek to keep it that way. Putting forward a bill that gives more rights for the religious south. And as they form the regional governments in the south they are looking for a long stay with new leadership style's.

We have won! I am so proud of everyone here. All the volunteers that made this snap election a succes. We did not expect this election but with the power of cooperation, hope and believe in our lord we have managed to do it! With me as president i promise the people of Dorvik that their dreams can be achieved. Their lives will be protected and their family's taken care off! Everyone will feel my ambition and determination into making Dorvik stick to its foundations and grow in its prosperity!


Said President Edmund Treitschke.
It is believed a 4 party coalition is on the table as well as a possible 2 party coalition between the TGP and DL but the first one is far more likely. It will be a government with its former rival but shall the TGP come closer to its similair rival the Renewal party? Or shall the old nemesis continue?
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Re: Dorvish News Service (DNS)

Postby Phil Piratin » Sun Nov 12, 2017 11:32 pm

October 4301

Weinreich forced from power as political power struggle leads to second election

Only months after winning a historic Presidential election, Weinreich has fallen from power after a second election was held, which saw him lose out to the Traditional Justice Party's Edmund Treitschke in the race for the country's top political job. The second election followed an intense round of political scheming after the Dorvik First party dramatically withdrew from the Staatsrat, leaving behind a number of vacant seats which many MPs insisted must be filled by holding a fresh election.

Despite losing the Presidency, the Communists increased their seat tally from 141 to 148, and the combined seats for the Communists and their allies Die Linke increased slightly from 286 to 289. This makes the "Popular Alliance" a powerful presence in the Staatsrat, although it falls short of a majority and is not expected to participate in the next coalition government.

Weinreich thanked his voters for their support, and congratulated the President, Edmund Treitschke, adding that "although his party and mine disagree on many important social issues, civil liberties issues and military issues, there are a number of economic areas of policy where we share a degree a common ground, and we will be willing to work with him and support him on those".
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Re: Dorvish News Service (DNS)

Postby Phil Piratin » Mon Nov 13, 2017 1:53 am

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Re: Dorvish News Service (DNS)

Postby lewiselder1 » Mon Nov 13, 2017 5:26 pm

Alex Gluck Takes NP Leadership

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Gluck is Hans' adopted younger brother

Alex Gluck, the former far-right NP leader Hans Gluck's adopted younger brother, has today taken the leadership of the NP, now called the "High Chancellorship."

His Vice Chancellor, or Deputy Leader, is Adelar Noske, an open CotS member.

Gluck has expressed many of the far-right views of his brother in the past. He has called Communism a "scourge," claimed "Karlstein Metz is the most modern interpretation of Satan made flesh" and that "Metzism is a cult -- no, a plague." This final comment drew criticism from many who say his words were insensitive in the light of the Wolfsheim plague, but Gluck said that it was, "nearly the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard" and refused to apologise. He has also repeatedly said that "the Communists killed my brother, Pfeiffer did it," referencing the assassination of Hans Gluck by an unknown assailant at the height of his infamy.

He also criticised attempts to moderate the right-wing parties, saying:

Look at Anna Strauss, look at Renewal, they didn't succeed. Who did succeed? Gluck. It's time this country got a Gluck in office, in the Presidency. That's what we need. I'm gonna make it happen. Because y'know what? People don't want moderates. They don't. People want change. Moderation is just a lie that has infected the right in this country, created by the liberal elite and the progressive scum of this country who wish to destroy Dorvik by destroying the right, the only people who can save us and our culture. We cannot let them infect us. We must fight back in our minds, in our actions, in our votes. Because you know what? Dorvik is fine. But we could be great. If we continue to let the left-wing scum corrode us with multiculturalism and all this nonsense, well frankly we've all already died.


He's said "Dorvik must close its gates" and warned of "foreign cultures eroding our already fading Dorvish identity."
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Re: Dorvish News Service (DNS)

Postby Pragma » Mon Nov 13, 2017 9:10 pm

Sally Gretchen Postures For Political Return

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Above: Gretchen appearing on popular Dorvish television show 'Travelling Man'.

In an unexpected political revelation, it appears that former President Sally Gretchen could soon be returning to politics. Gretchen was President of Dorvik from May 4291 to November 4297, and presided over a difficult but ultimately stable period of Dorvish history. This seems evident due to the increased presence of the former President on day-time television, game-shows and general public entertainment. She's also got a new book out next month and is going to be temporarily taking over a radio show for DNS.

Gretchen's achievements as President include banning abortion, deregulating industrial subsidies, developing nuclear and chemical weapons and staving off communism for a decade. Though her religious reforms were beaten back, hers was a legacy long-lasting and controversial. Regardless, it's not unlikely we'll be hearing more from her. Her twitter has exploded in followers after she announced she supported the new Renewal party. Eternally linked to such politics, the Pragmatic Conservative Party's former boss is.

Samantha Reder, when asked about Gretchen returning to the front of politics, said that 'it's up for her to choose, but I think we'd all love her back'. Many on the left resent the woman they saw as the embodiment of the far-right and the religious right. The nuclear weapon that bears her name stays grounded in Miktar, and the Aircraft-career named after her in the port of her home town of Zitadelle. But perhaps it is her stone statue outside of the governor's mansion of Largonia that most sticks in the craw of the left, symbolising the old, religious south.
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Re: Dorvish News Service (DNS)

Postby Phil Piratin » Mon Nov 13, 2017 11:50 pm

May 4302

Rein in "Plague Profiteers", demands Weinreich

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Communist leader Anton Weinreich has praised "the work of the hard-working scientists who have laboured to develop vaccines and cures for the Wolfsheim Virus", but also warned that "huge businesses like Cancon, the Hyperion Corporation and Burgmuller Pharmaceuticals are rubbing their hands with glee, waiting to make billions, maybe trillions, out of the vaccines and cures they are patenting". He said it was "immoral" for "the profiteers of the plague to get rich out of the suffering of the poorest people on the planet", and called for "concerted international action to ensure the appropriate cures and vaccines are distributed in the necessary volume, and at an affordable price, so that everybody who needs the medication can access it". He also cited a report from the International Metzist Medical Society, which accused the companies supplying drugs and vaccines related to the Wolfsheim Virus of "deliberately restricting the supply of drugs on the market, unnecessarily denying them to patients, just so they can increase their prices and make more profit".


Waive your parliamentary immunity and let me sue you, Pfeiffer challenges Gluck

Former Communist leader Friedrich Pfeiffer has challenged Defence Minister and National Party leader Alex Gluck to waive his parliamentary immunity from prosecution, so he can sue him over his remarks accusing Pfeiffer of murdering his father, Hans Gluck. Pfeiffer said:

I have had all sorts of things said about me, but I have never previously sued anyone in my life, because in general, I don't really believe in that sort of thing, especially with the bourgeois courts being the way they are. However, for Alex Gluck I am prepared to make an exception. If he will volunteer to waive his parliamentary immunity, I will sue him for the abominable lies he has made about me. I never killed Hans Gluck, and I have never killed anybody else either.



Communists set for key legislative victories

The Communists look likely to achieve some big legislative wins in the Staatsrat, A bill nationalising the railways is set to pass, although it seems unlikely the government will introduce Communist proposals for introducing a single class of rail travel (ie. abolishing 1st and 2nd class eats) and putting the rail industry under worker control. The party is also likely to help achieve the introduction of universal state pensions and voting rights for criminals released from jail.


Communist flag-burners embarrass Weinreich

Communist Party members are again burning the Dorvish flag in protest against a bill which would outlaw performing that activity. Weinreich is known to be dismayed by this, especially as he has tried to discourage his members from flag burning. Friedrich Pfeiffer, the one-time leader and later deputy leader, played a prominent role in the protest.


Metzist experts admit capitalism not due to self-destruct quite yet

On 7th February 4281, a group of renowned Metzist experts from all across Terra met in Haldor to form the International Committee for the Estimation of the End Date of Capitalism (ICEEDC). With the assistance of a powerful computer, they calculated that capitalism would terminate Terra-wide on 6th November 4320, and in Dorvik on April 17th 4310.

The ICEEDC has now issued a statement conceding "some errors and oversights were made during the course of our calculations" and that "although much progress has been made, we are now not expecting capitalism to be overthrown for at least another 40 years". They also admitted another claim they made, about Hosianism coming to an end in Dorvik by 4398 and in Terra by 4409, was "probably over-optimistic".

Former communist leader Friedrich Pfeiffer, who famously supported the ICEEDC's original claims, has refused to comment on this development.


...but Sacred Banana says there will be Terra-wide revolution by 4315

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Ilse Sitz, champion of the "Banana Only Diet"

Ilse Sitz is a controversial, self-described "health, exercise, diet and lifestyle consultant", famed for her promotion of the "Banana Only Diet", which encourages people to live only on bananas for long periods at a time in order to "thoroughly wash your body of its toxins". She is the author of a number of books, all of which have been heavily condemned by medical experts.

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One of Sitz's posters

Sitz's latest fad is what she calls "the spirituality of the banana". She appears to have become fascinated by the Banana Cults in Gaduridos, and is now keen to urge her followers not only to eat bananas but also, it would seem, to revere them as "gifts from the Divine".

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She has become a keen enthusiast for "Banana Divination", which involves asking a banana a yes-or-no question, then slicing the banana in half and testing whether the core reveals a "Y" or a ".", with "Y" indicating "Yes" and "." indicating "No". Last night, she wrote on her popular online blog:

Looking at everything that is going on in Dorvik and in Terra today, what with the radical right, with communism, with the plague and with nuclear weapons and so on, you can't help but feel something big is going to happen. So what I did was I phoned up a farmer in Marlingantos, who is famous for having a Sacred Banana tree, with these bananas that do the most amazing things. He was really nice to me, and I told him I wanted to ask the bananas an important question. He told me to take 5 bunches of bananas from his Sacred Banana Tree, then meditate on my question carefully whilst smoking cannabis and propelling myself into a higher spiritual state of consciousness, and then pick out the banana which I feel is asking me to pick it out, then do the Banana Divination Test. So what happened was, he had the 5 bunches of bananas delivered to me all the way to Dorvik, then I did what he said, asking the banana "Will there be Terra-wide revolution by the year 4315".

And you know what? The banana said yes there would be, and I knew at that moment that the banana was telling the truth, because as I say to all of my clients, the bananas never, never lie.
Last edited by Phil Piratin on Tue Nov 14, 2017 12:21 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Dorvish News Service (DNS)

Postby Carter Aaron Scott » Tue Nov 14, 2017 12:14 am

Psy Scott Responds to Communists, calls for reduced vaccine prices
Thomas Mart, Hyperion Star News: it was recently reported that Communists in Dorvik are calling for the "reigning in" of the Hyperion Corporation. Any response?

Psy Scott, President, CEO, and Sole Proprietor of the Hyperion Corporation: Well, friends, I find it very clear that the only reigning in needed at the moment is Wolfsheim. It seems simply stupid to block a group that can contribute tremendous resources to helping millions just due to the ramblings of a lunatic. *Scoff* in fact, I'll do even better.
All vaccines produced by the Hyperion Corporation will be sold at 10% their value, if not just given away!"
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Re: Dorvish News Service (DNS)

Postby Pragma » Tue Nov 14, 2017 4:29 pm

CotS and Banana Cult Clash

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Above: Police tazing Banana Cultists

The Children of the Spirit (CotS) of Anna Schroeder and the Spirituality of the Banana (SotB) of Ilse Sitz have fought in an all-out battle on the streets of Fairfax today. Home to 2,000 Children and 2,000 Spiritualists, who live on separate sides of the city, the two groups clashed in violent protest in the name of their respective deities and/or fruit. It was started after a banana 'answered' yes to a woman asking if the CotS were going against the divine plan, and a relative of Indra who serves as the city's CotS archbishop nearly choked on a banana.

On Keschen Street, a major commercial high street in the city, the two sides both agreed to meet and 'sort it out like true believers'. This meant that a band of 300 CotS members led by Indra Schwartz III and 400 SotB members led by Jorg Sitz met and clashed. SotB were more numerous and the CotS members tended to be older. However, the moral of this tale was to never underestimate a granny who thinks she's on a crusade. CotS ended up 'winning' the encounter, taking 100 injured while SotB took 300 injured.

The police eventually stopped the surreal sight, and ended up tazing the more multicultural and youthful SotB while buses filled with carers and back-up walking canes arrived to take the CotS members back to their nursing homes. Blood and teeth covered the streets, causing one woman sitting in a café on Keschen to tell DNS that 'it's time for these idiots to come to together and realise they are both as stupid as each other'. Sitz and Schwartz both managed to escape, fleeing to their respective home states, Kordusia and Largonia.
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Re: Dorvish News Service (DNS)

Postby Phil Piratin » Tue Nov 14, 2017 5:02 pm

October 4302

Weinreich condemns anti-communist persecution in Hulstria

Communist leader Anton Weinreich has tabled a motion before the Staatsrat, condemning the Hulstrian government for its recent wave of persecutions and its new legislation allowing communists to be held under mental health laws. He said this was "an issue on which the international community has got to take action" and also called for "Communist comrades around Terra to organise and show solidarity with our comrade brothers and sisters who are suffering under this tyrannical regime".


Communists call for ban on Ananab bananas

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The Communists have tabled a bill which would ban the import of Ananab bananas into Dorvik, and also the import or production of any products which contain Ananab bananas. This is as part of a protest against the Ananab Corporation in Gaduridos, which is accused of grossly exploiting its workforce.

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Advert for Banagro

One of the products which would be hit by this ban would be Banagro, the anti-impotence drug which includes Ananab bananas. This has led to a lot of ribald comments in the media, but also expressions of concern by thousands of Dorvish men who say they use Banagro and that it helps them.

The Banagro Corporation has issued a statement saying it is "working with our suppliers, including Ananab, to try to ensure their workers are treated fairly and decently" and that "legislation banning Ananab bananas would not achieve anything constructive".

However, Ester Brauer, the communist's Agriculture spokeswoman, dismissed Banagro's statement, saying "we all know Banagro has never made any effort whatsoever to get Ananab to pay its workers more, and they are not going to make any serious efforts to do so now". More controversially, she claimed Banagro "is a product that doesn't work", and went on to cause even more controversy by suggesting "men who eat too many bananas get Peyronie's Disease", which is also popularly known as "Banana Penis Syndrome". The Dorvish Medical Association has dismissed this latter claim as "scientifically inaccurate".
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