by Pragma » Sat May 23, 2020 6:28 pm
Official Kafuri News Agency
Sultan Roots Out Terrorists Within Government
al-Kasraj, Abi'nadi - His Holiness the Sultan (salaa allah ealayh wasalam) has successfully rooted out the snakes in the garden, uncovering a vast anti-Kafuri conspiracy in the halls of power. Most notably, the foul traitor Subhi al-Sham - who has betrayed the trust of the Sultan - was caught as a key plotter from his position as Prime Minister. This shameful treachery was repaid with apt interest, of course, as our merciful Sultan (salaa allah ealayh wasalam) relieved Mr. al-Sham of his troublesome head. Such punishment was also met by twelve other conspirators, most of whom were senior bureaucrats within the administration.
Why exactly these bastards would wish to attack a leader who is doing such good by his subjects, we may never know. However, it is reasonable to imagine that the Yeudis were involved, as they so often are in conspiracies and foul plotting. In order to fit the nation with steady and loyal leadership, Minister Zogu has been assigned the task of heading the cabinet and the legislature. Her fair and just hand has been experienced by the people of Kafuristan for many a year since the assent of our Sultan (salaa allah ealayh wasalam), and she will no doubt prove a worthy Prime Minsiter.
With the garden clear of snakes, the Sultan (salaa allah ealayh wasalam) can focus on his benevolent internal policy agenda. Having massively increased the budget of our great nation for education, healthcare and the police, be safe in the knowledge that things are getting better for our nation because of our grand leadership. The fighter of all good fights (salaa allah ealayh wasalam) will never rest while people in his nation suffer. He sees all, and he feels for all of his underappreciated subjects. They will get what they deserve before they know it.
الله أكبر ويفضل السلطان
Free Kafuri News Agency
Tyrant Kills Own Supporters, She-Devil Gets Promotion
al-Kasraj, Abi'nadi - As if this tyrannical government could not get any more absurd, the mad general Ashqar el-Kader has now starting killing his own people, including the Prime Minister. Subhi al-Sham was beheaded in the public square by our monstrous dictator, who accused him of counterrevolution, treachery and deceit to the Sultan. Having foolishly agreed to side with his most dreadful liege - no doubt for his own political advancement - the fool now finds his head among those impaled upon the royal palace ramparts.
Perhaps most concerning, however, is that this poor idiot has been replaced in his role as head of government by the vile witch Dardana Zogu, an Irqebal monster. This horrid woman has climbed the greasy pole of power in al-Kasraj using her dark magic. She is a tribal woman of the very gypsies who raid the countryside with the so-called Sultan's permission, but this is no shock since the Sultan himself is in fact half-Irqebal. We at FKNA worry about the increasing presence of this Siphinan menace in our lands, and we encourage all our readers and listeners to look to defend themselves from these horrible people.
الله يفضّل الحقيقة
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