Deltaria Challenges the Great Powers of TerraWritten by Vladislav TomasekFancypants for the 'Unquestionable Truth'Luthori. Hulstria. Indrala. These are the nations most people think of when the term 'Great Empire' is mentioned. But ascendant Deltaria seems no longer content to remain in the long shadows cast by these great and ancient powers. In a massive reversal of centuries of pro-Luthori foreign policy, the Czar of Deltaria has
formally addressed Phillip IV of Luthori by the title of
"Petty King", while simultaneously deriding the weakness of his nation on the world stage, and their inability to rein in the independence of their claimed territories, Mordusia and Alduria. Czar Lubomir later reasserted the insult, expanding it to include the Crownlands of Hulstria and Gao-Soto ;
"We are Imperator of the Deltarian Ríša, the Greatest Empire That Ever Was, or Ever Will Be. If the Petty Kings Phillip or Maximillian expect Deltarian steel to bring weight to their words, they are more than welcome to bend the knee and accept us as their lawful Suzerain."The Luthori ambassador to Deltaria has been politely requested to leave the countryIndrala too has been insulted by Deltaria, despite years of active and loyal alliance, after a communist upstart in the Dao Wang Yuan
called for Indralan influence to be expanded to the Majatran nation of Jakania ; a part of the Deltarian Empire. Despite the suggestion being immediately and unanimously voted down, Deltarian ambassadors were reportedly unhappy that the Grand Preceptor ignored calls to more vigorously censure the upstart Hua Zhang for his suggestion. Historians in Deltaria have responded by producing evidence that the crowns of Dolgava and Egelion, both claimed by Indrala, are more legitimately claimed by members of two cadet branches of the Trigunian Čestibors, and Czar Lubomir has announced his intention to bring both nations to heel under the growing Deltarian Ríša, through diplomatic means if possible, or militarily means if not. When outraged Indralan diplomats protested that this would violate the Holy Alliance and was in direct violation of "the deal", Jindřich Sivák was said to have told them
"I have altered the deal. Pray I do not alter it further."These threats and insults can only be seen as a massive realignment in the axis of world power, with Deltaria's former policy of seeking backing and protection by appeasing her fellow Empires being thrown aside in favour of asserting Deltarian dominance as the sole great power in Terra.
SLAVKO! SAYS!Writted by SLAVKO!Boss Editterman of the Newspapers and Best Dogman to Papa CzarHallo foreign heathens! Is me, SLAVKO! I bet you all wonder what intersting storys has been happen in Deltara all this times? I can tells you all about it. Big Veche has some more laws to be past by Papa Czar. SLAVKO! now will explain thems all for you foreign heathens!
Marriage Reform is importent law for picking good matches for fancypants mans and womans. Papa Czar say he makes this law so fancypants of Deltara can be used for good of all Deltarans. Papa Czar says he has some plans for marry the pretty lady from Barmyland and make all of Barmyland into part of Deltara. SLAVKO! no reely undersand why Papa Czar want to marry Barmyland lady. Barmyland lady reely prety but every time SLAVKO! is visiting the Papa Czar house there is much more pretier ladys wandering around. Sometimes they even haves no clothes on!!
Welfare Reform is for getting rid of more badman laws the Church made us to have. They gives free Telars and sammiches to Deltara mans with no jobs. Papa Czar say that Deltara mans with no jobs will be having more time to plot and scheme against Papa Czar. If we takes away there free Telars then they will all needs to find jobs and will not have so much time to be a badmans. This way Papa Czar is not needing to punish them later on and everybody is being happier for this.
Severance of the Deltarian-Luthori Friendship Pact is importent change for who Deltaramans best frends are. We used to be frends with Luthorymans. But Luthorymans are saying that there Papa Czar is bigger and more gooder than Deltara Papa Czar. This is lies. Papa Czar now is giving them a big yelling for this lies and soon all of world will know that Papa Czar is bestest man in all of world.
Ratification of the Treaty of Aŭgusta is deal that Papa Czar makes with the choclatefaces in Kobryland. It makes it so if anymans is mean to choclatefaces again then Papa Czar can send dogmans rite over to fix them and don't be needing to send talkymans to UMN first. This a real good law becuz the badmans in Kobrylands has been reely relly mean and Papa Czar shoud send dogmans over anytime they try be mean again.
Dear SLAVKO!Writted by SLAVKO!Boss Editterman of the Newspapers and Best Dogman to Papa CzarDear SLAVKO!,
I has cheated on wife with prostitute. Wife go mad if find out. She very fine prostitute but she pregnant now. Wife cheat on me too but if find out she beat me with big hairy fist. Prostitute say she tell wife. Wife ugly but good with plough and milking. Prostitute also demand benefit from me for child but I cannot afford another child already have 12. I offer her pet walrus even life time supply of frozen whale blubber. Tried push her down stair but she drag me down too. Think also caught disease from prostitute. Bits covered in blisters tried dipping in icey sea but sea lion thought was bait. You know how to treat sexy disease?
Apology for letter being written in blood wife slit my wrist instead of using ink. Plz help me am scared
Thnx,
Troubled in Trigunia
Hallo foreign co-religionist of our most sacred and holy Mother Church! Hahaha, sound like you in big big trubbles with wifey. In Deltara we all say
"mans who has unbruised nuckle also get blackened eyes!" But SLAVKO! understand, SLAVKO! has big and strong wifey who much more hareyer and strogner even than the Ushaman bear who stealed SLAVKO! sammich one time. SLAVKO! say best way for to be dealing with big angry wife is to hid behind sum staircase and hit her from behind using a big piese of wood or metal bar. Mans has bigger brains than womans so clever strategy plans like this is sometimes needed. If you has sexytime disease on your klobasa, SLAVKO! says best cure is to be rubbing it down with borovička and then to be injekting your bums with medisines from a doktor. Some of medisines from doktor is not as good as others so be shore to try six or seven differant medisines until you get the rite one. If you are putting your klobasa in icy water then sometimes it is turning black and falling offs even if sea-lion isnt trying to eet it up. SLAVKO! has dogman frend who has lost four toes this way. Is very bad!
Your frend,
SLAVKO!