Egelian Officials Prepare for Possible Interpret by Zardic Spy
Currently, the Egelion Defense Force, or EDF, are now at all airport terminals in wait for the possible incoming of Mona Rivet, international super-spy of Zardugal who has been flying around stealing infomation while picking up bachelors on the way. This recent up-scaling of the guards in Egelian airports is due to new information released by Dorvik's Foreign Affairs office on how this person as stolen important details of national service from multiple counties disguised as a human rights activist. More information to come as soon as it happens.
Egelion Demands Dranland to Send Zardic Spy to Them, Said to be in Their Best Interest
Dolok Geacara, in his deck at the Royal Office in Demar Solad
Recently, news leaked that international super-spy Mona Rivet has hidden herself in Dranland... somewhere. It is also said that she may be given asylum there until Zardugal comes to get her, which seems unlikely that will happen since they basically disowned her*. Today, Viceroy of the People under His Imperial and Royal Majesty, Holy and Royal Highness, Grace, and Lordship, by the Grace of Heaven, Sima Shan, Dolok Geacara has demanded Dranland to hand over, who he said was a 'Zardic cockroach', Mona Rivet to their custody so she could be sent to Dorvik to be judged for her crimes of espionage. He said that it is of their best interest to hand over this 'peacetime war criminal' who made a disgrace to true human rights activists everywhere by being the phony she was revealed to be. This is proving to be a big deal in Egelion, seeing how the government of the Crowned Republic said to be 'a bigger issue than hosting the meeting of members of the Indralan Commonwealth', which will be the first time ever an event like this will be happening betwwen these member nation.
People of Egelion Demands Removal of Viceroy After Being Caught with a 'Mountain' of Cocaine on his Deck
Dolok Geacara, in his deck at the Royal Office in Demar Solad
During a report of the current situation of capturing international super-spy Mona Rivet, investigative journalists on the Egelion News Network caught Dolok Geacara, high out of his mind, with a mountain of cocaine on his deck along with some whiskey and monitors of views outside of the Royal Office behind him. When they was trying to snap his out of his daze, we caught him doing the act on film. Warning: Children or Supporters of the Conservative Party in Egelion should turn their heads now...
Zardugal Threatens Dorvik with Sharp, Pointed Sticks While Terra Laughs
The estimated reaction to this recent news inside the Dorvish government
After news revealed Mona Rivet as the international super-spy that she is, some members of the Zardic government wasn't happy about their spies being rounded up like cattle. To our guess, due to how the title seems to have a stained yellow background while the others don't, it is assumed that members of the United Federalist Party broke into the Zardic Report newsroom and printed this insanely false story and accidentally poured coffee on it.* Because, why would the Federation being 'mobilizing' for war with their troops in Baltusia (which, to our guess again are just cardboard cut-outs of Zardic troops standing outside that nation's military base) who was drilling to prepare an attack against Deltaria (by the way, why would they attack Zardic troops in Baltusia when they can invade Zardugal itself? WHY WOULD ZARDIC TROOPS BE IN BALTUSIA IN THE FIRST PLACE? WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THE MINDS OF ZARDUGAL'S ELITE?) to change course and prepare for anything Dorvik can throw at them (like sarcastic looks, pointing extended index fingers, straight standing middle fingers, and sadness-seeking missiles made out of 100% pure weapons-grade pity). Meanwhile, the political scene there seems to be drowning in a sea of confusion. Not good for a nation who is threaten war after losing most of their armed forces to two previous ones. Whatever happens next cannot be guessed though logical thinking (due to lack of it on Zardugal's end), but we can promise one thing. It will be something amazing.
Dolok Geacara Leaves Office in Disgrace, Julio Silvestre Back in Power
Julio Silvestre, Duke of Amateria, celebrates being back in power
Due to the recent scandal of former Viceroy of the People being caught using a large amount of cocaine in his office and his failure to get international super-spy (who might not be a spy or super) Mona Rivet out of Dranland, Dolok Geacara and the Conservative Party dissolved due to lost of support and financial troubles. With this in mind, the Duke of Amateria, Julio Silvestre won a one-sided election to become Viceroy of the People once more. Now as our former and future Viceroy gets ready to re-take office, a now 100% Democratic Socialist ran Forum is now crowning Sima Shan as the new Prince of Egelion, a late thing to do due to the abstaining of the bill by the original Conservatives. Also ending a policy of distrust between the two nations, the New Mordusia Neutrality Pact is signed in as law also. Now with the Zardic Spy Fiacso has ended and an active party is running the government, Egelion can finally start planning the Indralan Commonwealth Conference to be hosted in their nation.
News has surfaced that international super-spy Mona Rivet was in fact an international super-spy for Zardugal after her ship in the Sea of Knee-Walking Turkeys sank to the bottom of the sea. After the international super-spy was saved from drowning, the international super-spy admitted to being an international super-spy to her saviors and all the things she did while being an international super-spy. All over Egelion, people are celebrating the news of her revealing being an international super-spy inside of Mona Rivet. So, for your eyes, here are some people celebrating the final episode of the International Super-Spy Saga.
Two people on the beaches of Dul Kinea, hugging in victory in the middle of their homoerotic volleyball montage
A couple of nerds in their apartment (Our cameras are in their room for Deltaria's National Security, of course)
A shocked member of the IHRM after walking into a raid made in Phalsefaux City by Deltarian Forces (in the name of national security, of course)
And these are only ones we caught on camera, imagine how many more their was all over Egelion! We here thank those in Deltaria who put her into justice in the most humane way possible. With bullets. We also thank those who help us try to hunt her down in the international community and at home. So, finally, we can close the books on this subject.
It is another beautiful, sunny day in Egelion! Do not forget to pack plenty of sunscreen if you are headed to the beach!
In the news, Viceroy of the People, our Beloved Generalissimo Francisco de Nueva, has announced that the military will be nationalized and all citizens may be called up to arms as the situation in the world worsens. It is also notable that if you are willing to pay, or you are a noble, you may be skipped over for national service.
Also, reminding you if you are a member of the Solduni faith, do not forget to convert to the one true Selucian Patriarchal Church before time runs out!
Our most beloved Generalissimo, Francisco, Duque de Nueva, has announced that in coordination with the Holy Emperor of Indrala, his Majesty, Prince of Egelion, Sima Shan, both of our militaries are now engaging in joint military exercises, overseen by our great Generalissimo himself. It has also been reported that Indrala is unveiling its first aircraft carrier in the drills - a weapon that will surely make our enemies tremble in their boots. It is expected that the draft and these drills are part of a grander military scheme in Egelion, one that will certainly bring us glory throughout the ages as our great Generalissimo serves his Majesty the Holy Emperor in the humblest of ways.
The naval drills began early this morning, while the land combat drills started late last night. The land combat drills were overseen directly by the Generalissimo, who boasted: "Combined, we are unstoppable."
"...and I believe I speak for all Egelia when I say, unity is the best policy. I am honored to be considered for King of the Dranianos, and I will do my best to serve all parties involved."
As Dranland across the sea debates on how to represent its three cultures, Francisco de Nueva gives his weekly address from the Palace of Egelia in Caille. In it, he detailed how he should be the one to represent the Dranianos, and to be crowned King of them. He also included a shout out to his liege, the recently deceased Holy Emperor of Indrala, as the person whom has kept Egelion and himself safe during his reign as Viceroy of the People. As Egelion slowly descends into a inoffensive centrist society, de Nueva hopes to rile the people up enough to ensure a revival of his administration's policies.
Traditional Communion to run Infante Benito de Nueva for Grand Covenor
As Generalissimo Francisco de Nueva hits the age of 75 and is in detioriating health, the Traditional Communion has chosen to run Benito, the Caudillo's oldest son, for Grand Covenor in the next election. de Nueva will continue to be in charge of the party and will maintain his noble status. The Generalissimo reigned unopposed for several years, but in recent days has been challenged by the republican Federal-National Party, and has been tirelessly working to depose them from office.
"It's a fresh start," says Traditionalist Alfonso Condelez, a former regime official. "Soon, we will take back power and change the direction Egelion is going down."
Egelion continues to have the strictest religious laws in the world, as well as very open economic policy. Both were signature staples of the Traditionalists.
His excellency, Viceroy Benito de Nueva, announcing jointly with Presidente Alfonso de Nueva, are happy to announce that His Majesty the Holy Emperor of Indrala yet again sits on the throne of Egelion.
"We will not lose power ever again, I assure it," said the Viceroy. "Enormous internal reforms in the traditional communion are taking place to ensure that the voters will love and respect the throne as they have in the past."
In addition to the rise of the Viceroyalty, the government is now re-instituting a free market to return a more traditional system of mercantilism and capitalism to the country. The budget of defense was also added to exponentially, with the military tradition to be restored to the Kingdom. Taxes on the lower classes were also raised to 80%, the Viceroy saying that since the main source of crime and a need for welfare comes from the poor, they should bear the majority of the burden.
