OPINION: The Strange Death of Luthori
July 4827
▲ Emperor Henry I of Alduria, Hulstria, and Luthori
FORT WILLIAM, ORANGE — Though there might be many candidates for the titles of ‘great power’ or ‘emerging power’, one thing’s for sure – Luthori’s not among them. And yet Luthori was once one of the world’s two undisputed superpowers, along with its ally Hulstria. So what happened? Where did it all go wrong?
The October coup of 3532 that saw Philip IV deposed by Colonel Oliver Wellcrum and the Holy Luthori Empire replaced with the “Realms of Luthori” seems like a good start. There had only been one previously successful attempt to abolish the monarchy, by the Luthori Commonwealth Party in the 34th century, but that was only a very brief interregnum of less than a decade. This one would last fifty years. It is now known to historians that this period was no accident of fate, but one engineered by a Kennedy-orchestrated conspiracy to bring down the Holy Luthori Empire just as the Colonial Review Committee had started to fix its problems (though this, by angering the powerful nobility, was what allowed the conspiracy to emerge in the first place).
The 3730s were a disaster for any hope Luthori had of recovering. The Verrell-Hutoris engineered a war with Alduria – to this day it remains unclear whether they installed a puppet regime for the very purpose – and by the end of it the close relationship that had endured for a millennium, that had given birth to the modern Luthorian language, was no more. The Church of Alduria, one of the most important distinctions it had from the rest of the Canrillaise-speaking nations, was destroyed.
The 43rd century is an example of a wasted opportunity to become, at least, a regional power in Artania. Under the Royal Conservative Party, Luthori rejoined the Artanian Union and seemed set to play a vital role in it. The RCP succeeded in restoring the monarchy. But when 47% of the electorate voted for the joke campaign of “Nerp a Lerp a Werp” at the 4229 election it was a sign of things to come.
The 41-year chancellorship of Jamie Jamesson turned Luthori into the world’s laughing stock with his “wait a min was we tricked into voting for absolute monarchy” and the installation of “His Imperial Majesty Holy Highness the Legend of Rick the Great of House Rai, by the Grace of God, the all-powerful warrior, Leader of Bawrai Party, Shining Star of Holy Empire of Luthori, Defender of the Faith, Ever-Victorious, Iron-Willed Commander, Great Man, Who Descended From Heaven, Guiding Star of the Luthorian Empire, Emperor of Holy Empire of Luthori by the will of the Luthorian people” upon the throne. By the time the Luthorian people realised Jamesson was serious when he talked about bringing back slavery and the slave trade, that he was not another “Nerp a Lerp a Werp”, the Diet had been stuffed with enough blockparteien to make elections a joke.
It is for a good reason that the name James is still banned in Luthori to this day.
But what about the Imperial Commonwealth, you ask? What about the union with Hutori, the successful reunion with Mordusia and Alduria?
In truth, that was probably what damaged Luthori the most. It allowed Luthori to pretend that it was still a relevant power, that it was at the head of some great empire (by ignoring Hutori), and that nothing needed to be done because everything was just fine. And now the Hutorians confirm with their condemnation and talk of fight what we knew all along – that Luthori can never hope to be even an equal partner of a regional power ever again.
Malcolm Hepton is a historian and author living in Fort William. In his spare time, he runs the Emperor Philip I & III Historical Re-enactment Society.
