4501 general election: Rockhopper triumphs over divided oppositionNEKHATW, HAWU MUMENHES/IKRADON — Jamie Rockhopper’s Justice for Ikradon surprised the world by winning a plurality of seats, but now he also has
a majority after the Great Judgement Court banned Mohammad Hammad’s National Justice Movement and declared their seats vacant mere minutes after
the results came out. In an election for an unnamed position simultaneously held by the Electoral Commission for unknown reasons, Da’rion Daniels of the
Royal Party beat Hammad with 52% of the vote. Rockhopper declined to participate, telling reporters “since [the position] doesn’t even have any powers,
let alone a name, what’s the point?”. It is believed that Hammad, a notorious fraudster wanted in more than 80 countries, has already fled to Kundrati.
Only 20% of eligible voters cast their ballot on Wednesday, making this the country’s worst turnout for a multi-party election in centuries, while polling by
researchers from the University of Soleb suggests turnout among Ikradonis (5% at the last election) skyrocketed to over 70%. Justice for Ikradon won 37% of
the vote and 36 seats, the National Justice Movement 31% and 33 seats, and the Royalists also 31% but only 31 seats. The dissolution of the NJM, however,
means only 34 seats are required for a majority.
Ecstatic crowds in Magrathea, the ancient capital of Ikradon, cheered Rockhopper as he declared “a new dawn has broken over Ikradon, and we are all -
Ikradoni or Esinsundu or neither - truly free at last”. His party has already drafted legislation to “restore the freedoms of ancient Ikradon”, proposing to
legalise abortion, allow individuals to officially change their gender, relax restrictions on immigration, and ban the use of weapons of mass destruction.