Satirical film in which Chojo lives again pulls in millions
Carsten Häussler
8:04 PM (HGS) 14 October 5022Are wa Dare? (
あれは誰?,
Who's That?) closed its first weekend in theaters by earning a whopping $48,851,452 on a budget of approximately only $4 million. The satirical comedy, directed by Lea Voit, is about Kidehi Chojo (Osada Hachigoro) reappearing in 5021 on the anniversary of his execution on 10 January, 4958. While it does have a defined plot, much of the movie is defined by unscripted scenes featuring Osada in character as Chojo talking with Hulstrians and Gao-Sotoans unaware of the film's production at the time of filming. Be warned: spoilers are ahead.
On that anniversary, Chojo wakes up on the site of his former gallows and stumbles around modern Idōwa, under the assumption that Imperial Gao-Sotoan forces had somehow managed to violently end the Rowiet occupation of the country between his death and the Empire's official surrender. The various Idōwans he encounters all are under the impression that he is merely an actor. Upon seeing ethnic Hulstrians interacting with Kunihito and using facilities that were off-limits to Hulstrians during the Imperial era, a shocked Chojo sees a television news feed in an electronics shop, discovering that it is 5022. He faints.
Watanabe Naritake, who was filming a documentary near the site of Chojo's execution to commemorate it, is fired from his television station for having a 'Chojo impersonator' in the background of his footage. He investigates and finds an awakened Chojo in the electronics shop, ignored by the owner and shocked at these new revelations. To save his career, he recruits the
de facto triarch to talk with various citizens, with the footage to be posted on CeeRTube. Chojo agrees, and they set out to interact with real Hulstrians, Hulstro-Mikuns, and Kunihito alike across the country.
The popularity of the CeeRTube videos prompts Watanabe's station to hire Watanabe again as well as Chojo, to create a comedy show starring him. It becomes a hit, but a rival of the existing station management releases incriminating footage of Chojo cutting the head off of a rabid cat, prompting Watanabe's and Chojo's firing and his promotion. Having discovered the Internet, Chojo starts penning an autobiography about his experiences titled
Are wa Dare? in which he compares fascist Gao-Soto and democratic Hulstria and Gao-Soto, critiquing 'Ina and Yarwood's bastard child of a party' (the FSU) and the 'Flormart KDK' (Ost!) while praising the USSR-PAC. The popularity of the book compared to Watanabe's old station, which is floundering under its new management, prompts Watanabe and Chojo's rehiring yet again.
As Chojo heals after being attacked by offended hardline Ost! members, Watanabe realizes that the 'perpetual method actor' was in fact Chojo himself, seemingly back from the dead. When nobody believes him, he has a violent outburst in Chojo's hospital upon discovering that the latter has left, and manages to chase Chojo to the station rooftop, killing him; Chojo nonetheless appears behind Watanabe again and states that as long as the Gao-Sotoan people hold a part of him in their hearts, he is immortal. The chase and all succeeding events are revealed to be scenes from a movie based on
Are wa Dare? starring Chojo and a body double as Watanabe, who is in fact in a mental hospital following his outburst. Chojo, still perceived as an unidentified method actor, becomes a political star; the film ends with a scene in which he rides through Idōwa in a convertible as Kunihito nationalists salute him, in turn ending with a shot of a confused Hulstrian man.
With only a few days before the national legislative and executive elections, it is obvious that this is commentary by Voit, a liberal in a political landscape dominated by conservative partes, on the political attitudes of the post-Imperial Hulstrian and Gao-Sotoan. Some critics artistic have called it a tangle of well-worn tropes; critics political are condemning it for not being critical enough of fascism and being overtly commentative on Hulstrian politics. For the most part, however, it does well; in addition to its stunning opening weekend figures,
Are wa Dare? has a 79% approval rating on Fresh Potatoes. Many see the movie as having a strong chance of becoming both a cult classic and one of the most famous Hulstrian and Gao-Sotoan films of all time.
Ishida wears horrible tie
Frida Junkermann
5:45 PM (HGS) 14 October 5022FSU Chairman Ishida Tsuneharu wore a horrifically unstylish necktie while speaking at the Association of Hulstrians and Gao-Sotoans Abroad's biannual forum in Tian'an, Yingdala today. Analysts believe that the uncomfortably shiny black and yellowish-white striped tie was purchased in a bargain bin s...
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Man saves cat from flood
Matsui Sanjiro
3:56 PM (HGS) 14 October 5022When a dyke burst in Luthorische Bai, flooding a coastal street, it seemed that all hope was lost for little Anton, an orphaned black kitten clinging onto a fast-moving tree branch for dear life. This would be justified sentiment if Joachim Schönlein hadn't abruptly stopped saving his drowning mother and dived into the water to save the 19-gram cat.
In a statement after the daring rescue, Schönlein said that "the moment I looked at little Anton here, I knew I would be inconsolable if anything happened to him, so I just dropped everything and dived into the flood." When his mother's dead body timely resurfaced and he was asked about her condition, he said "oh, yes, that's very bad."