Beiteynu

[JuliaAJA]

OOC: You know, I don't recall issuing a permit for this broadcasting company. I have to check with my cabinet on this matter.

OOC: I'm sorry, would you mind issuing a permit?

[GreekIdiot]

OOC: You know, I don't recall issuing a permit for this broadcasting company. I have to check with my cabinet on this matter.

You are the goddamn cabinet of your nation. What's the fuss with this anyway? Big deal.

[JuliaAJA]

In a PM he explained that he was joking and he thought he sent it as a PM.

[JuliaAJA]

Welcome to Dawson-Klink Television News. Live from Gan Kofim, I'm Robert LeBeau with the Domestic News.

100 Years Signals Return of DSPB

After decades in exile the DSPB returns to the political scene for it's Centennial Anniversary. The party has returned with new plans and new policies. The DSPB has returned more communist than ever and more prepared than ever. Most members remain in exile from the CZP, but the Princess has risked returning and if arrested the CZP is in for a surprise on which DSPB members would not elaborate.

From the studios of the Talmorian News Network. Live from Jededah, Talmoria, I'm Muhammed Hakim with the International News.

Status of the Malik

The Malik of Talmoria & Aslistan was recently deposed by the Sons of Aslistan, upon deposition the Malik fled to Gaduridos where the GPO would protect him. The Terran Union for Schultzism, representing the Schultzist Movement of Talmoria, has been in talks to get the Malik back in power.

Broadcast Internationally by the Royal Kafuri Company and Cranberry News Channel.

[Barnwood]

Will be updated later with details of the July 2788 coup in Beiteynu.

[GreekIdiot]

OOC: Is this the newspaper of Beiteynu or is it an isolated event? Mind that Beiteynu already has a newspaper.

[Barnwood]

OOC: This is the newspaper of the Dundorfic/Aryan minority in Beiteynu and I felt it would be unrealistic to use the same newspaper.

[GreekIdiot]

Liberating forces appear on the horizon after so many years!
March 2790

Ah yes, the fine breeze of the west has brought some staggering news. Hold on to your pants as we inform you that Mr. Annoing Jewhatred has formed a new political coalition that promises these lands wonderful and amazing progress. "All the previous years of ridiculous praising to unknown and silly gods has proved to be quite damaging for our divine land!", was his comment to the media that had gathered outside his shiny new headquarters. He posed as a real model and addressed the crowd with his deep voice. "My darlings, don't worry, for I, the glorious man and woman of the divinely gifted heaven of Beiteynu, by the power given to me by the omnipotent inner voice of redemption and true lack of virginity, shall lead the people towards the liberation of their sexuality and the condemnation and final total destruction of all religion in Beiteynu. There are no Jews in these lands! Only sexually oppressed people by Jews!"

[GreekIdiot]

Interview with the leader and founder of the Liberal Reformation Menace
April 2790

Ladies and gentlemen, all of you viewers around Beiteynu, good evening. We have long anticipated this night, so, a month after the appearance of Mr. Jewhatred on the political foreground, he has finally come to terms with the dark colours surrounding the studio and has accepted our invitation for a live interview. Ladies and gentlemen, here he is, the figure of the hour!

"Well thank you Ariel, that's so cute of you..."

It's my pleasure and I would certainly love you on the verge of total and unjustified insanity if my pesky little ass-kissing gave me the opportunity of enjoying a magnificent political intercourse with you on the subject of sexual pleasures and gay relationships, as well as gay sex after this interview.

"Ahaha, always the same Ariel, lovely..."

But enough with my diversifying erection, let's get down to straight business, shall we Mr. Jewhatred?

"Oh darling, just call me Annoing."

Annoing...my pleasure. Well, eh...first of all, where do you come from? This has come as quite a horny shock to us. Appearing in public I mean, without any blurs. Naked to the bone. Purely satisfying.

"As in matter of fact, I am a genuine sex machine of the Beiteynu lands. I was born here and then was raised in Kalopia. Lovely place, you can smell sexual liberation all over the place. It talks to you on the tap water, it touches you on the sheets, it implies it downstairs, through the concrete wall, down the stairs, up the stairs, down and up, up and down, you can smell it in the air; no restrictions. No religious codes and no government regulation on your intensely building emotions. You wanted to liberate yourself, you could act your love and pure emotions on the street, anytime, anywhere, with anyone. It was widely encouraged, and that's my dream when it comes to the Liberal Reformation Menace. We imply that exactly: the menace of liberty. Absolutely no government regulation or supervision at all."

Aaah, let me hear you say that one more time.....

"No government regulation at all. You will be free and the sexual heavens can bless you with as much freedom as you please!"

Damn Annoing, that sounds amazing. That is amazing...my lord...aaah...let me breath for a while. Can I have a glass of water? Thank you. Now, Annoing, I presume your party's position on religion is not actually favourable to religion itself in Beiteynu?

"We shall enforce the free market, open our borders to the smells of foreign darlings working intensely and sweating, we shall cut government regulation to such a minimum it will be heavenly to simply provide condoms around, but...; we shall not accept the cacophonous mudslinging of a bunch of bumbling baboons who in the name of a total range of restrictions that they call heaven and father restrict us from exercising our own free will and our own wonderful wishes, and to develop our individuality, and beautify this world with colour. No, religion it out no matter what. And we shall play a hard game."

Very enlightening there my friend. Brilliant. All in the nude! Now, many of our viewers, who are most commonly between the ages of 17 and 24, ask whether you shall reform the educational system completely or proceed with minor improvements. That is all hypocritical of course, in case you support the current system.

"Sexuals sake, of course not. Why would I support a conservative, religious, state education system with absolutely no prospect and no consistency to provide safe and secure teaching and development of individual sexualities and characters? I mean that's ridiculous. The specific age group you mentioned id dying for liberation, it wishes to roam free without any restrictions, to try their boundaries on a world where education would support sexual education and promote multiple level intercourse, and without any discriminations on gender and sex. Those who stick to the conservative ruling will be punished; they'll be bondaged and they be forced to obey their new master the hard way."

Touching...yes...I mean, let's give the man a wonderful bravo! I mean this was more than enough my friend. Oh I'm sorry, I'd sake your hand if it weren't soaked in tears. Well thank you, you have brought us hope once again. We dearly thank your snickering whereabouts from the bottom of our hearts. And I mean very bottom like, from behind. Ladies and gentlemen, this was Annoing Jewhatred, the leader of a bright and wonderful future!

[GreekIdiot]

Liberal Reformation Menace provides the ultimate solution towards glorified dissolution
January 2791

In a wonderful gathering last night, millions and millions of people heard the amazingly divine words of Annoing Jewhatred, who, with indescribable tolerance and tenderness spoke of great times and unforgettable dreams, uniting all the watching souls into one entity, towards a path of super benevolence and sexually miraculous liberation.

"I dream of a time where masturbation is as common as walking on the street. I dream of times where the police will only arrest and bondage those who refuse to accept the liberation wave. I believe in reformation! The ultimate goal is to sell ourselves to a master, to give everything we have to a person who shall torture us and make us feel sexually liberated. It's a wonderful I tell you. Once we hold the super majority in the government, we shall commence the Liberation Initiative, after which no Beiteynu will exist and all Jews will be exterminated for the good of these lands!"