Kalistani Republic

Re: Kalistani Republic

Postby Commie16 » Tue Jul 10, 2018 8:03 pm

Hosian Science Monitor-A Hosian Examination of Current Events
Premier of the Republic, Anna-Marie Genevard, Holds First Press Conference, Introduces Col. Francois Melenchon As Defense Minister

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Anna-Marie Genevard, flanked by fellow members of the Hosian Democratic Party, address the nation for the first time as Premier of the Republic In her first press conference since being appointed to office.

I want to first and foremost thank you all for being here. I'd admittedly a little nervous about this, it being my first time and all. This a new experience for me. It is both a privilege and an honor to be here and be in this position. I want to thank our previous Premier, Dianne Carrangus, for not only her years of service to our nation, but for her reaching out to me, speaking to me, welcoming me to this position, and for helping to bring me up to speed on what all is going on here in the capital across the nation. She has been gracious and kind and I'm incredibly grateful and appreciative to her for that. I'm sure the entire nation joins me in thanking her for her years of service and wishing her a happy retirement.

I want to address a few things today about what all is going on, what my priorities will be, and what we're aiming to do right now in the immediate. As you will all by now know we passed a bill that will result in us, immediately, building a network of shelters across the nation, something that I'm very excited to announce and am happy we were able to accomplish. That same bill approved the use of weaponized drones and UAVs for reconnaissance and military operations. The same bill called for a full time professional army, navy, and air force but a new bill has been proposed that could result in a change there. That situation remains fluid. I'll update you as more becomes obvious on that front. We were also attempting to pass some, what we thought were anyway, common sense gun safety reform measures but that bill failed to pass the National Assembly.

A few bills that we have in the chamber right now, that are still being debated and worked on between the HDP and the SPoK, concerning religious liberty, an issue near and dear to my heart, and political independence for government employees. We, and the leadership of the HDP, are working with the SPoK on a bill aimed at providing greater religious liberty to individuals as well as religious institutions in this country. This bill would also provide greater religious liberty to foreign missionaries seeking to come to this country. There are some details to iron out there but it looks promising and we'd very much like to see this bill pass, as would many, many, many people in this nation. The other bill I mentioned is a grey area that I don't want to say one way or the other what will happen there. We're certainly hoping it passes, as we think members of the bureaucracy should be politically independent so as to ensure politics doesn't affect their job performance, but we aren't sure where the SPoK is on this issue. But, legislatively that's where we are at right now.

With that being said I want to take this opportunity to introduce, for the first time publicly, the new Minister of Defense, Col. Francois Melenchon.


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Col. Francois Melenchon, the new Minister of Defense.

The colonel has years of distinguished military service and has a decorated background. We are confident that he's the right man for the job at this juncture in the Republic's history. We commend the president for this selection. Our opinion is that she could not have found a better or more qualified candidate for the job. Col. Melenchon brings a background of practical experience that our Republic will need and benefit from during these times. His years of service in the Army make him uniquely qualified to lead our defense ministry at this time. I hope you will all join me in bidding him a warm welcome and wishing him, and the entire defense ministry, all the best as they endeavor to keep our nation safe during the comings years.
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Re: Kalistani Republic

Postby Doc » Wed Jul 11, 2018 3:30 am

Barajas leads delegation to Lourenne
President, new FM and ODEN chief to begin Summit with next door neighbor

Kaliburg, Ananto
September 7, 4421


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President of the Republic Barajas arrives in Valois with the Kalistani Delegation.

A short hop from Kaliburg's Republican International Airport to Valois, Fédération de Canrille, Lourenne, and the long awaited summit between the two neighbors kicked off. Ana Barajas, the President of the Republic, and the Kalistani delegation arrived safely in Valois yesterday and disembarked to a warm welcome by a Lourennais Children's delegation who sang the Kalistani National Anthem, "Kalistan! Kalistan!" in Canrillaise.

The President then met with local reporters who asked her questions in Canrillaise, but knowing that neither neither Foreign Minister Abe Hashimoto or ODEN Chief Georgia Tass spoke the language, the President answered in Luthori. Barajas has been to Valois before, but the other two were newcomers, and we asked by one reporter how they liked Lourenne. Hashimoto was polite, but blunt, "We will reserve judgement until we have seen more of it." Tass, on the other hand, was thrilled. "This country speaks of romance to me: The language is beautiful, the people here, so far have been very kind, and everything I have read about Lourenne suggests that they are a country on the move. I can't wait."

The Kalistani delegation is scheduled for a sightseeing tour over the next day where they will visit Lourenne's new resorts and newly launched sparkling water production facilities. After that point, talks following the President's agenda will proceed.

We will follow the President's delegation as they visit with Lourenne's people and negotiate with their Lourennaise counterparts.
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Re: Kalistani Republic

Postby Doc » Wed Jul 11, 2018 6:13 am

ODEN Kalistan releases Annual Drug Survey Results
Results confirm Drug manufacture and sales a major part of Kalistani prosperity

Kaliburg, Ananto
November 5, 4421


The Direct of ODEN released the findings of Kalistan's annual Drug Census, as required by the ODEN Treaty. Results confirm that wholesale drug sales around the world account for more than 2 trillion Kalistani Rubles that fuels Kalistan's Economy and social and military programs in Kalistan.

Below, is the results of the Drug Survey, certified by ODEN director Georgia Tass.

ODEN-Kalistan National Drug Survey, 4421

The following is the most recent survey of drugs produced by ODEN and ODEN-established Drug Prices for Kalistani Domestic and World Markets. Black Market and Street value are established at point of Sale.

This survey was conducted between October 1 4420 and September 30, 4421, from data provided by all Republican National producers and refiners. The survey contains a margin of error of <.01%.

All values Metric
Raw Production Capacity per Annum
48,352 tons of raw Coca leaf
61,432 tons of Marijuana
6,345 tons of raw Opium
6230 tons psilocybin mushrooms
305.1 tons raw Ergot
64,387 tons of raw Treacle
783 tons of Peyote Cactus
2,538 tons of dried Cabrera Root bark

Refined Drug Production per annum
130.68 tons of refined Cocaine @ 3.5 million KRB/kg, total value- 457,380,000,000 KRB
767.9 tons Hashish @307,850 KRB/Kg, total value 236,426,109,550.66 KRB
121.8 tons refined Morphine @ 1,573,667 KRB/Kg, total value 191,672,727,078 KRB
487.6 tons refined Heroin @ 352,664 KRB/Kg, total value 171,959,234,580 KRB
45.68 tons of Oxycontin Pharmaceutical @ 9,600 KRB/Kg, total value 438,528,000 KRB
1015.2 tons Processed Opium @ 799,370 KRB/Kg, total value 811,520,424,000 KRB
1065.5 kg crystalline LSD @ 1,709,800 KRB/Kg, total value 1,821,791,900 KRB
1237.2 kg pharmaceutical grade MDMA/Ecstasy @ 2,351,000 KRB/Kg, total value 2,908,657,200 KRB
43.15 tons of DMT @ 3,044,670 KRB/Kg, total value 131,377,510,500 KRB
17.90 tons of Refined Mescaline Crystal @ 3,526,600 KRB/Kg, total value 63,126,140,000 KRB
21,897 liters Kalistani Rum @ 375 KRB/L, total value 8,211,375 KRB
6,273,190 liters Kalistani Wine @ 635 KRB/L, total value 3,983,475,650 KRB
745,126,987 liters Kalistani Beer @ 160 KRB/L, total value 12,020,317,920 KRB

Total value of all ODEN production- 2,084,643,127,753.66 KRB for the 4420-21 year.

These figures are accurate as of October 30, 4421
Signed
Georgia Tass
Director, ODEN-Kalistan
Organization of Drug Exporting Nations, Kaliburg, Ananto, United Republic of Kalistan
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Re: Kalistani Republic

Postby Doc » Thu Jul 12, 2018 3:32 am

Kalistani Bands take back Charts
"Szarybeat" takes a turn for the weird as Acid Rock makes a comeback in Kalistan

Kaliburg, Ananto
June 14, 4422


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For the first time in nearly half a decade, Kalistani Bands dominate the Top 10 in Kalistan as Kaliburg's Aerocraft claims Number 1

Since Beatmania swept Kalistan in 4418, Kalistani pop charts have been dominated by Valruzian acts. No more, according to one of Kalistan's most influential pop counters, The Melodymaker Top 100, which rates pop and rock acts by sales and requests. Since the beginning of June, Kalistani acts held 9 of the top 10 spots on the survey, and none was more popular than Kaliburg drugists Aerocraft. Mixing the Szarybeat sound and LSD seems a strange combination, and that is exactly what Aerocraft was after, says Lead singer Joan LeGree.

"Well, I was 20 when the Beat Brothers came. Me and [guitarist] Mike Doering sat around and thought, 'nah, this is too plain. This music is for teenaged girls.' Yeah, I was one of them, but I was already tuned in and we started the band. We stuck together during our National Service, and put our first record out last year. And now all this."

McGree was apparently heavily dosed when we spoke, and the above was the most coherent set of sentences she was able to put together. Most of the time, she spoke about strange works of fiction, or caramel, or the Ocean, or just what it was like to "walk backwards for a whole day." It was unclear if she ever had.

Aerocraft draws on an artform that is more than a thousand years old, which predates the rise of electronic music. Psychedelic Rock Music, or Acid Rock, has had something of a revival in Kalistan over the last few years. "Szarybeat" knockoffs from Kalistan, experienced with drugs, soon began writing pop music about drugs. This was helped along by the "Szarybeat" sound's dominance at last years Ganjam during both the International Showcase and the Last Night, while more explicitly drug-influenced RF continued to dominate L Night. The influence of drugs on pop rock came front and center late last year when singer Marcus "Exclamation Point Astrology" Coulter died of a drug overdose after a show in Sulari. But the death of Exclamation Point has not put a damper on the drugists' invasion into the Szarybeat genre.

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VEMI-K artists, Vrassa City's own Mirage earned the award for "Best New Band" at last years Kalistani Record Awards

Vrassa City acid rockers Mirage, who recently landed a recording deal with VEMI-K, have meanwhile launched a new phase of the Szarybeat sound. Their recent effort, "Que Pasa Gloria," which is their first record on a major label, keeps much of the Szarybeat sound, and mixes it with the revitalized Acid sound, and puts that aesthetic to good solid Alternative Rock. Singer Jonas Tenriffe is also known for being an incredibly humble man: Of the record, he said "Que Pasa... is as good as anything the Beat Brothers have done. We're bigger than the Beat Brothers, dja no whata mean." His thick Vrassan accent allows him to sing naturally in a dialect that sounds quite close to the accent produced by the Szarybeat bands from Valruzia, and his brother, guitarist Micky Tenriffe's clear skill on the electric guitar, further lends his band credibility in the both the pop rock and Alternative Rock scenes. The band earned Kalistan's coveted "Best New Band" from the KRI last fall.

All told, Acid rock and drug-related alternative rock music has led Kalistani acts to reclaim the charts, as music tastes in Kalistan return to a more local flavor. To keep up, Valruzia's music sound must progress beyond pop and into a more mature sound hinted at by the Beat Brothers' last few singles.
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Re: Kalistani Republic

Postby Doc » Fri Jul 13, 2018 4:34 am

Reprinted from
The Klavian News Network

************

Letter to the Editor
"You should re-legalize Drugs and then join ODEN"

by Georgia Tass,
Director of ODEN-Kalistan, Kaliburg, Ananto
Socialist Party of Kalistan
December 18, 4422

Dear Editor of the KNN,

I write today as one interested in the disorder you reported the other day concerning "drug gangs" who are making money hand over fist due to the artificial creation of a black market in your nation.

Due to my position as Director of the Organization of Drug Exporting Nations, Kalistan Subsidiary Branch here in Ananto, I think I have some expertise on the matter of drug policy. As a matter of fact, Kalistan's drug policy is crafted in my office.

If I may rely on my expertise on the matter of drug policy, I would say that prohibiting recreational drugs, or anything really, that the population enjoys, will produce a backlash. We can assure you, as a nation that is steeped in the drug culture, and as an organization that sells more than 2 trillion Kalistani Rubles worth of drugs worldwide annually, that The Keymon market has certainly been on our radar. We have had some trouble there competing with legal production and sales. Naturally, we will see our profits from Keymonese users skyrocket due to the Government's prohibition on drugs. Drug prohibition does not prevent drug usage: Only overdose can do that. You can make drugs illegal, and all that will do is make suppliers like ODEN-Kalistan richer, and Keyomonese users poorer.

Look: we do not sell drugs to your people. We only sell drugs to your distributors. We don't particularly care whether drugs are legal or not in your nation. We are supplying a terra-wide demand for drugs, and as the only drug cartel in Terra, we will make money whether you make drugs legal or illegal. Nor will your laws affect our sales one bit. Demand is demand, and it only goes up under prohibition.

But as a matter of public health, I can assure you that with drug prohibition, the threats to human health dramatically increase. We know that legal drugs are produced under clinical conditions. A user always knows the exact dosage they are getting and the grade of quality is stamped right onto the package when a person or an organization buys for ODEN. Our brand is a mark of quality, and we are meticulous in our methods, and only buy from the producers with the best reputations. In Kalistan, we are permitted to put unaffiliated producers out of business all together. The goal is to provide the best quality and the best valued drugs to users around the world. We have been at this game for more than 2000 years, and can assure you that if you are concerned about the health and wellbeing of your drug users, you can't get better than ODEN. Drug prohibition also ends drug regulation. Now users are not only being supplied by ODEN, which come with an associated cost of the black market, but a bunch of garbage produced locally, by people trying to make a quick buck.

You will notice, regardless of how much product ODEN sold in Keymon, that drug gangs did not exist before prohibition. And now, they do. And those gangs compete with one another for a bigger share of the market. They bring violence and crime into your society's midst when it did not exist before. We will sell to whoever buys from us: We do not discriminate, but you must be sure that it is your prohibition, not our commerce that is creating the violence when none existed along these lines before.

Keep this in mind as you develop policy to fix a problem your supposed solution to a different "problem" created. The best thing for your government to do is to get rid of the prohibition, re-legalize drugs, and join ODEN: If nothing else, under ODEN, your country will finally gain control of your country's drug sales, and at least ensure that if people will do drugs, they will be Keymonese drugs (ODEN does not compete with member nations' domestic markets), and you can then get a handle on quality and possession issues, whereas now, I am sure it is far easier for a small child to score a pound of marijuana than it was before prohibition.

And LSD, and opium, and heroin and MDMA and meth, no doubt: only the last of that list ODEN-Kalistan will not be sending to large scale Keymonese distributors in the coming year, as we do not produce that chemical in Kalistan.

Thank you for your attention,
Most Serenely,
Georgia Tass
Direct of ODEN Kalistan
Kaliburg, Ananto District, Kalistan
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Re: Kalistani Republic

Postby Doc » Sun Jul 15, 2018 5:43 am

4423's Ganjam goes off without a hitch
Crowd size smaller as Lourenne hosting plans fade for now

Kaliburg, Ananto
November 18, 4423


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Kaliburg National Amphitheater hosted the 4423 Ganjam to a sold out crowd

There was some question over whether 4423 would be the first year that the Ganjam was held outside of Kalistan. The ODEN director seemed to have secured a deal with Lourenne in 4422 which would have allowed ODEN to host the show in Lourenne. The last thing that was said on the matter was that Lourenne would be thrilled to host the event, but it was made clear that Lourenne would legalize the sale of tobacco first, and then move the ODEN treaty in the Lourenne legislature before further talks about hosting would go on. 4422 passed into 4423, and nothing was done, so ODEN Kalistan prepared for this year's International GanJam music and Arts Festival in Kaliburg. And as predicted, the festival was a success, though more modest compared to previous years.

Fans from all over Kalistan arrived on the Island in late October for the festival, and were treated to a number of different types of music. The year's theme was psychedelia, and everyone, from the various Szarybeat bands that have been playing in Kalistan for 5 years or so, to the Acid Rockers and RF artists on L Night, to the "All Dub" Final Night promoted the psychedelic sound. In many ways, this GanJam was a return to form after the Szarybeat wave had crested over Kalistan, and had moved on to other shores.

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Righteous Fist, the Indrala-based hardcore band headlines their first GanJam this year on Night 1

The International Showcase featured hip hop from Lourenne, where MC's dropped bars in Canrillaise to an adoring fan base, Acid Jazz Rock Fusion from Dovani, and Indralan YingPunk sensations Righteous Fist, who are far more popular in Kalistan than in their home country. Overall, fans were thrilled with this year's international lineup. Said one concert goer, "Yeah, Righteous Fist was definitely my favorite band. They had Lou from [Kalistani Hardcore Band] Sick of Them All in one of their songs. Plus, they really burned the place down. What a great day of music!"

The Legacy Showcase on Day 2 featured primarily rock bands which were displaced on the rock charts by the arrival of Valruzia's Beat Brothers five years ago and the resulting Szarybeat movement. Older fans were treated to appearances from bands like Guevara, SkyBlue Natural, and the Doggs, who headlined the Second Night. Bob Neukirk of The Doggs said, "Well, it was good of the Jam to have us back. We played in 4402, and, well, these last four or five years have been rough. Henry [the band's original bassist] went into used tire sales, and Dave, our drummer, you remember, was in a skiing accident in '19. But its nice to have three of us back together, and maybe this exposure will be what we need to get back on the road... You know? Bangin' tail and playing clubs again... that'd be great... You know: I feel like we still got it, you know?"

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Progressive Acid-Rockers Mr. Bluesky take the stage as headliners of L-Night

L Night focused primarily on RF bands during the day, and Acid Rock bands in the evening. Crowd favorites Devon and Waterfall played their third Jam this year, and went on-stage an hour late due to the constant demands for encores from the band before them, Neveras' RF favorites, "Iron Drill.", who mix RF with more traditional electronic instrumentation and orchestration. After Devon and Waterfall finished their set at around 7pm, the show focused on Acid Rock, with a fairly subdued light presentation compared to previous years, provided by the Headliners of L-Night, Xanadu's Mr. Bluesky, who played through the 2am hour. Mr. Bluesky is a band with a different attitude toward psychedelia than most bands who have played L-Night. Said lead singer Jeorg Kemper after Mr. Bluesky ended their set, "See: We like to see what is possible with the instruments we have on hand. It's about pushing the limits for us. We include orchestration, and in fact, if you think of our music as classical music done with rock instruments, you can get kind of a picture of where we are going. It is very progressive. Prog-rock. That's be an interesting name for what we are doing. But definitely inspired by drugs. We've been high for days. L-Night has been a trip."

Headlining the Jam this year was the Suldanor Dub collective International Jahstifar. International Jastifar closed the show after a full day of pure dub from some of the top producers in Kalistan, including DJ Dubplate, Evalasta, Specialist, Technician and Roto Dan and Filiosoph. Szarybeat elements were present in a lot of the dub, most especially in Roto Dan and Filosoph. But International Jahstifar brought the Dub back to the roots, and played a single dub riddim that lasted more than 2 hours. The live band that was backing International Jahstifar up spent the entire time riffing, and International Jahstifar's two DJs worked overtime to keep up with the improvisation, but as thick clouds of marijuana smoke hung just over the crowd, it was obvious that a good time was being had by all.

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International Jahstifar prepares to close the Festival while jamming out to Evalasta in the afternoon of Day 4

The only downside to this festival was the small number of ticket sales, meaning that ODEN needed to kick in more money this year than in years past. Sources close to the organizers said that ticket sales were depressed due to the lack of early publicity for the show, as the possibility of playing in Lourenne was explored. Others blamed the smaller than usual venue at the Kaliburg National Amplitheater, which has hosted the Jam only a few times in the past. But ODEN sources stated that the show ultimately recouped costs. "We made a little bit of money, mostly on vender fees. But ticket sales were in the red going into the festival. We will do a better job with promotion next year. Otherwise, we had a lot of fun," ODEN-K's Director, Georgia Tass said.

One thing's for sure: The Kalistani festival will continue on, And now with Sekowo poised to join ODEN, perhaps there is a possibility for an overseas show after all.
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Re: Kalistani Republic

Postby Doc » Tue Jul 17, 2018 3:21 am

ODEN Expands Overseas
Sekowo Joins the Cartel, with Telamon to follow

Kaliburg, Ananto
December 1, 4424


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Georgia Tass, Director of ODEN-Kalistan celebrates expansion of drug cartel

Georgia Tass, the director of ODEN Kalistan announced that her efforts to expand the Organization of Drug Exporting Nations have begun to bear fruit. Sekowo became the first nation to join the new ODEN III regime, and Telamon is currently considering the matter.

"The Constitutional Republic of Sekowo has enthusiastically endorsed the treaty and has joined the Treaty regime, and we are thrilled to begin working with our fellow Anantonese Nation on developing their market and production capabilities. More members mean more supply which is a benefit to all members of the Cartel. Plus, as the Cartel expands, the trade network associated with it expands as well: We gain leverage on drug markets and prices, and can more easily ensure greater access to a larger consumer base at a lower prices, while protecting the livelihood of producers and manufacturers. With Sekowo now a full member of ODEN, we also can increase diplomatic pressure on other pro-drug nations to join, as well as leveraging countries which are close to ODEN policies to begin to work toward adoption of the treaty."


Tass announced that inclusion in ODEN will pave the way for Kalistan and Sekowo to work on other projects as well. She hinted that talks of a new Non-Aligned Movement are in the works that will offer a counter-balance to the great hegemonic states in the world, and give states interested in avoiding virtual colonization a new opportunity to be bold in the face of previously daunting political pressure. Tass was sure to point out, "This program is in the opening stages, however, and is unrelated to ODEN. But joining ODEN certainly opens the door to other negotiations."

Tass said that Kalistan will be monitoring the Telamon debate closely, and said that Kalistan will be available and happy to offer any advice or answer any questions about the Organization.
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Re: Kalistani Republic

Postby Doc » Tue Jul 17, 2018 5:36 am

Non-Aligned Movement to Form in Kaliburg
Sekowo, Lodamun, and Selucia to be Invited at outset

Kaliburg, Ananto
December 26, 4425


A new international organization, tentatively called the Non-Aligned Movement, is being proposed by Kalistani Leaders. The aim of the organization, says Plenary Chair Felix Li, is to get Terra's non-aligned powers together on the same page vis-a-vis the hegemonic Great Powers and organize the smaller states in the world against them.

"The goal is Security through Peace," Li said. "We see to organize to balance the great hegemonic states of Terra. I'd ideally like to see a number of diplomatic efforts come from the group which not only isolates the hegemonic powers and alliances in the world, but also contains them so that they cannot menace the rest of us with their wars."

When asked if the Ananto Straits issue was on his mind, Li responded, "Well, the Ananto Strait is not the only waterway in the world which is abused by Great Powers. Security threats are all over the place in this world. There was a major war in Jelbania, and then without blinking an eyelash, the Northern Alliance, who was prepared to use nuclear force against Vanuku for using nuclear force against Jelbania, then turns around and launches an all out war against New Alduria. For what reason? Who knows? We say imperialism, and we want to stand against that. But we can't do it alone."

Li said a specific invitation will be made to Sekowo, Selucia, and Lodamun, all three of whom are not associated with Great Power Alliances. "The goal is to get a treaty together with as many of us as possible. So naturally, we will ask all to join except members of the Northern Alliance and other large, Great Power led organizations. We're not looking for collective security or ideological purity: What we care about is opposing the naked imperialism of groups like the Northern Alliance."

Meetings concerning the Treaty will begin in January at Kaliburg Polytechnic Institute. They may move to a new spot depending on interest among the group.
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Re: Kalistani Republic

Postby Doc » Wed Jul 18, 2018 3:36 am

Al-Khali becomes Premier
Suldanor Newcomer brings fresh ideas to Government

Kaliburg, Ananto
June 12, 4425


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Abdulaziz al-Khali, also known as Lord Pharoahe, is acclaimed Premier of the Republic

Fans know the new Premier of the Republic by his stage name, "Lord Pharoahe", but Socialists know him by a more famous name: Al-Khali. Descendant of one of the greatest Premiers in Kalistan's History, Abdulaziz al-Khali inherits a massive mantle being elected by acclaim to the Premiership.

Al-Khali, aged 32, recently elected to fill a vacated Hosian seat in his home city of Sulari, looks to be a generational Premier.
"None of this stepping down bullsh-t," said Al-Khali. "The President and I disagree about the Prerogative. If anyone is stepping down next time, its the President. My goal is to lead Kalistan until I retire from politics and drop my 15th record."

Al-Khali has the swagger of his fore-bearer, and sees himself as a man of the people.
"Lotta people talkin about how I got the same name as the old Man. Yeah, it opened some doors for me. I can't deny it. But I brought my name up in the 4400s through hard work and dope ass beats, lots of weed, and a bunch of sh-t about aliens, assassins and fat asses. Forgive me: I ain't supposed to cuss, but f--kin sh-t man. The people are riding high. And who better to lead this b--ch but the Pharoahe!"


Al-Khali's charisma and slack mouth disguise a formative intellectual chops. Al-Khali holds a Ph.D in economic theory from Kaliburg Polytechnic, a MA in Linguistics from University of Suldanor, and an MA in International Relations from Doceus Rex University in Neveras. "We are sitting on the cusp," Al-Khali said at his Valedictorian address at KPI six years ago.
"We have to ask ourselves: do we just let the great powers of the world walk all over us, or do we stand up and metaphysically kick them in the junk? I gotta say: I know where I'm at on that question. Junk-kickin time, you know what I'm saying? But its better to die on your feet than live on your knees, and we, the educated of the world, you know, we don't have to take it. We know better. Let's make the world we want to live in, not the one where the powerful get to do as they please and the weak must accept what they must. We know better: We can do better. We all got our Brother's Back, Let's Stand Together. Dig?"


Before entering politics, Al-Khali, as Lord Pharoahe, went from writing term papers to starting a career in Hip-Hop. He defended his dissertation, called "On the Economic Advancement of Small States: Kalistan in the 4400s" the same week his second LP, titled "Deathmasque" hit Kalistani Stores. Lyrically, Al-Khali raps about politics, outer space, the Occult, and the apparently endless supply of women who are constantly attempting to engage in intercourse with him. Privately, though, Al-Khali is a dedicated family man.

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Lord Pharoahe was performing on stage when he was informed that he had just been acclaimed Premier of the Republic

"They say rap about what you know. What I know is 3am diaper changes, scrapped knees from falling off of bikes, and my bangin wife. I know some other sh-t too, but my life is most definitely not what I sing about in my songs. Nobody wants to hear about being from the mean streets of Downtown Sulari, where we have a good apartment in a highrise state run place. I mean, I make music to make money and maybe educate people, but mostly cause I find making records f--king hilarious. Like people love my records, and that blows my mind. Nothing is more satisfying that to be driving down the road and hear your sh-t over the car stereo. And you know what? Everyone knows who I am and they are like 'Oh, this theorist, in one song he's talking about the intricacies of ethical socialism, and then in the next he's singing about having a threeway with a space alien and some girl from like Valruzia with big t----es, and then in this song over here, he's talking about all the pot he smokes, and then over on that track, he's preaching about how imperialism works and sh-t and how they want to control your mind. It's all basically the same song, really."


Al-Khali believes that he will be able to keep the two worlds separate.
"No, yeah, man. On stage its the Pharoahe. You know? But off-stage, I'm a mild mannered secretly crypto white and sh-t. Right? No, I'm just playing- Do I look white to you? We got some big things ahead of us. We already are talking to Sekowo and Selucia about the Non-Aligned Movement, which is for states that ain't sucking the imperialist d--k, you know what I mean? They're good countries, and I think talking with them is a very positive step to building a lasting peaceful scene here in Kalistan. The more small nations who come to work with us three founding countries, the more ideas we'll have and everything, and we'll get a treaty together that reflects the interests and the discussions among the founding members of the Pact. We're also working on ODEN, getting that expanded, and keeping Lee at the World Congress. The President and Tass and Hashimoto are back home now from Lourenne, having been basically abandoned as Lourenne went to war. So we'll be talking about putting together some more diplomatic missions to countries which are a bit more interested in working with Kalistan."


As the interview ended, Al-Khali bid our reporters farewell, and then added,
"You better believe I'm playing the Jam next year. Those motherf--kers ain't going to keep me out now! And I ain't toning sh-t down for nothing."
Primary: Socialist Party of Kalistan (SPoK), Old School Since 2591

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Re: Kalistani Republic

Postby Doc » Wed Jul 18, 2018 5:17 am

National Assembly Votes to prepare road for Non-Aligned Movement
Departure from several major treaties signals change in Kalistani Orientation

Kaliburg, Ananto
June 25, 4425


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Premier Al-Khali calls for withdraw from several major International Accords, and takes Questions during a recent press conference

Mirroring talks at the Non-Aligned Movement Formative Meetings this week, the Premier of the Republic, Abdulaziz al-Khali proposed a bill in the National Assembly of Kalistani Deputies which would withdraw Kalistan from diplomatic treaties with major world governments.

"We need to begin thinking about the corrosive influences of these great nations," Al-Khali said, from the floor of the Assembly. "Association with large interventionist States tends to leads Kalistan down that path, and it is actually in our interest to work with smaller nations, who have fewer ties with the krackens of the World."

Among the treaties on the docket for abrogation are treaties with Hutori, Trigunia, Istalia, and Indrala. The Hutorian Treaties Kalistan is set to withdraw from are the Rocc Cola Franchise Agreement and the ITB. Al-Khali: "Well, with Rocc Cola, we took a look at the franchise arrangement. The proposed stock sale which was part of the negotiations never went through, and there appeared to be no movement toward developing enhanced formulations for Kalistani tastes, so the deal wasn't benefiting Kalistan monetarily or culturally. That was an easy one. As for the ITB: We requested an evaluation of our currency when we passed the Treaty. Nothing happened, except spent their time, and probably some of our money blasting the Kalistani Ambassador to the World Congress. So, that was also kind of a no-brainer."

The treaties with Indrala were the Affinity Treaty and the Eastern Development Association. Said the Premier: "With the Jienists on the rise once more in Indrala, and them looking to flex in our part of the world, we will sooner be at odds with them. It's better to have more freedom of movement vis a vis their policy toward us."

The Trigunian Treaty, while still kept by Trigunia, reflects a 500 year old geopolitical arrangement, and Kalistan has had no contact with Trigunia in over a century. And Istalia, as a major power in the world and a key player in the Majatran Union, will most likely oppose participation in the Non-Aligned Movement due to the challenge the NAM could pose to its hegemonic dominance.

"Overall," said the Premier, "we consulted with our ministers and found out which treaties we could do without: Basically ones that weren't doing much for Kalistan. We remained in the Northern Seleyan Economic Community, due to Kalistani Origins of the Treaty, and the predominance of small, independent states. The free trade association serves Kalistan's interests well. We also remained in the Selucian Diplomatic Treaty, which is signed by almost everyone in the world. Obviously, we will keep involved with Selucia."

The Measure is expected to pass unanimously.
Primary: Socialist Party of Kalistan (SPoK), Old School Since 2591

Continental Roleplay Coordinator for Seleya

Inactive: Parti des Frères Lourenne, Since 4109
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