Kalistan

[ChitinKal]

Tactical Map October 4523

[Doc]

Keymonese-centered stocks rally following news of restraint
Keymon investments gain 1.7B KRB
Kaliburg, Ananto
Novmber 12, 4523


Investors in Keymon-based Stocks cheer rally following prolonged slump

Stocks traded in the Kalsie which are heavily leveraged by Keymonese investors took a surprise jump throughout the trading day today. KalMD, which controls several assets in Keymon and has been brought into heavily by Keymonese investors, as well as several well known resorts in Kalistan, and a basket of 14 other companies, all of which have more than 15% Keymonese ownership have been experiencing a slump since the beginning of the year but inexplicably jumped this afternoon, on news that Keymon is urging peace in the region.

"I've never seen anything like it, in my 15 years of trading," said stock broker Felicia Kay, who specializes in what has come to be known as the "Keymon Portfolio". "Usually these stocks are lower yield, safer investments, which are used to hedge more risky investments elsewhere in the market. This jump is going to make a lot of people, Kalistani investors and Keymonese investors, very rich and very happy."

Analysts conclude that the double digit jump in stock price accompanied by high volume trading was not normal, but ruled out any sort of market manipulation. "The price jump is more than a standard deviation off the norm," said Kaliburg Polytechnic economic s professor Len Vivaldi. "But it is within two standard deviations. Sometimes people just have 'good days', and this seems like an extraordinarily good day for many investors."

The value of the stock increase was just under 6.8 billion Kalistani Rubles, with just over 1.7 billion Rubles going into the spending caps of Keymon investors. Other stock performance was more moderate, and the NDC stocks were down just under 1% at closing, due to the continued refusal of the Government to begin military procurement or modernization of any sort.

[Doc]

Socialist militias create havoc across Republic
14 incidents listed in last month alone
Neveras City, Neveras
April 14, 4524


Socialists claim responsibility for this Cineplex fire in Downtown Yoshimi, which killed two elderly residents

Socialists affiliated with the Revolutionary Socialist Militia of Kalistan have claimed several explosions, shutdowns and incidents of vandalism across the Republic within the last month.

A masked individual, who identified himself as Ramon, a Commander in the Militia, claimed to speak on behalf of the Militia. "We will force the Government to respond, or we will throw them off. They are letting the Republic fall apart. See here? They can't even keep their movie theaters from blowing up, their cars from spontaneously combusting in the middle of an intersection in Kaliburg, or their train cars on train tracks as they go over bridges. Since our government refuses to govern, these acts designed to illuminate the utter incompetence of the President and the gang of Thugs which claim to govern this country will continue."

Among the acts of sabotage attributed to the socialist militia:

1) Placing dye packs usually used for catching bank robbers into cereal boxes of privatized food corporations in Kluptoon, so they will explode harmless but indelible ink all over unsuspecting cereal eaters

2) Dousing concert goers at a Dulnerstaad show which featured the well known Patriot League-endorsing band "The Fountainheads" with liquefied mercaptan, which is the additive usually used to give natural gas its rotten egg smell. One of the audience reported smelling like "nasty breath, dogsh-t and rotten cabbage" for two days following the show.

3) Sabotage of the heating elements of the popcorn poppers at G&H Cinaplex in Yoshimi, causing them to overheat the oil and start the concession stand on fire (this act actually caused the death of 2 old theatergoers, due to the resulting stampede. The theater subsequently burst into flames and was entirely burned out inside.)

4) The intentional grounding of Ferry 35 and 42 of the National Ferry Service between Ananto and the Mainland on King's Rock. Both ferries were carrying Deputies from the Government Parties from Odufaray. Both ferries were rendered entirely unservicable by the grounding and were rapidly disassembled to prevent usage by the inmates. The Deputies, numbering 7 in all (4 from the PL and 3 from the LDP) were "guests" of the criminals on the Rock for more than 6 hours each while police were dispatched to collect them. The Ferry operators, both Socialist Partisans, were arrested on the scene.

5) three incidents of "spontaneous combustion" of MoCo vehicles in busy intersections just before morning rush hour in Kaliburg.

6) explosion of illegal fireworks outside the residence of the Premier for three nights a week. Police responded in one such incident, and shot three Socialist partisans responsible for the fireworks demonstrations. All three were declared dead on the scene, while police claimed that their guns accidentally discharged while attempting to peacefully resolve the matter.

The Spokesman Ramon intoned a warning: "Sabotage will not end across the Republic. There is not a symbol of the current Government that we won't aim to take down, and there is not a sign of the Privatization dictates which will remain safe. Remember: We are among you: You cannot identify us all, let alone arrest us all."

[Masionette9]

VALRUZIA AIMS TO REBUILD THE SELEYAN UNION AS INSTABILITIES ALL ACROSS VALRUZIA SHOW.
WITH AN OUTBREAK OF CIVIL WAR IN KALISTAN, ECONOMI STAGNATION OF BALTUSIA AND NORTH-SOUTH DIVISION OF SELEYA NOWOGARD SETS TO REBUILD THE FORMER UNION'S SENSE OF COMMUNITY
Nowogard, August 4524

[Yolo04]

Keymon and Vanuku Announce They Will Defend the Entrance to the Antone Strait

[Yolo04]

Keymon Withdraws All Forces From Coastal Vrassa, Kalistan

[Luis1p]

LOURENNE QUOTIDIEN: Lourennais Royal Navy prepares for intervention in civil war

[TheCaliph]

Voice of the Free
July 4525

Government allows Elections under State of Emergency,LDP ready for compromise !

Elections were held under high tensions as the Militias of the Opposition took up arms and garrisoned against government forces and the Blue Berets,Haytham Kennedy called for the elections to be a turning-point and end to tensions between the government and the opposition. Due to the chaos in Kalistan,Micheal Wallace postponed his resignation and once again was de-facto candidate of the LDP for President and gained just shy of 12 million votes. The second round saw a very close race between the PL and SP and with just 0,5% difference the SP won the Presidential Elections. The PL is once again the Majority in Parliament and the LDP is once again second-largest. Haytham Kennedy called for the new president to call off the militias and “fix issues within Democratic timetable”,and also Wallace ensured that his last mission as LDP Chairman would be ensuring a new stable government and compromise with the opposition. Primaries are scheduled to begin shortly after the new government is formed should Wallace resign. Obvious candidates to lead the LDP would be Haytham Kennedy which served as Head of Government for 6 years and the very popular daughter of former President Ceaser Furhat, Sarah Furhat.

[Doc]

FEATURE: Who IS Oleg Guttersnipe?
Socialist Unknown places name in nomination and wins
Kaliburg, Ananto
June 2, 4525


Oleg Percival Guttersnipe, the new President of the Republic

**ADVISORY: the President's speech will be transcribed phonetically because the few things the President said were often difficult for the reporter of this story to decipher.**

The politics of the Republic took a bizarre turn during the recent general election in many ways, as the electorate is contorted and stretched to the near breaking point. Control of District Governments in Neveras and Ananto flipped. The Government Coalition, (mainly the NLP) gained seats. And the population has narrowly elected, on the second ballot, an unknown 28 year old from Kaliburg who placed his name in the elections when no other Socialist candidate came forward. Due to stagnated Government from the Kennedy Administration, a combination of endorsements, and the arrival on the scenes of new Parties, Oleg Percival Guttersnipe won the Presidential election by a razor thin two-tenths of one percent. "This is an unmistakable MANDATE!" declared Guttersnipe in a mostly uncomprehensible, alcohol slurred victory speech. Guttersnipe is expected to have a rocky term, as the main body of the Institutionalist Bloc remains in rebellion, and does not hold a majority in the Assembly. But who is this man who became President?

Guttersnipe was born in a time of conflict. "We ain't add no schools, when wes is growin up," said Guttersnipe to reporters in a thick Vrassan accent. "Patriots basically privatized em and theys all closed, causay couldn't make no money off poor folks. So when yus asks wheres I went to school, I says the streets, inno!" Guttersnipe was raised in either Vrassa City, Senvias, or Python, depending on when the question was asked, but at any rate, it is almost certain that he is Vrassan. At some point in his teens, Guttersnipe moved to Ananto, where he took a job as a "street busker," playing guitar outside of grocery stores and at intersections for money. "Me only friend, 'Atdatoime' as me dog, inno," said Guttersnipe. "Sadly, dat dog up n got issef it by a car... Eeus free. Eeadd a bandana, a redn acorse."

While "busking", Guttersnipe decided to enroll in an alternative education program. "Wes boys went up and got into school, mostly cause its warm up there inna winter," where he learned to read. At this point, Guttersnipe became a voracious bibliophole. "I read the Bennarts Book, and us impressed," said Guttersnipe, who also joined the Socialist Party around his 17th Birthday. "First thing I ewer haxually read. Its like Ius catchin up, inno?" When he completed his High School equivalent at 19, he enrolled in Kaliburg Polytechnic, and due to local assistance programs, as well as a bit of entrepreneurship which might have involved operating a small gambling operation, or operating a pornography theater, Guttersnipe eventually had enough tuition to enroll and live during his time in Kaliburg University's Graduate School.

"Yeh, I'm quite proud. Just finershed the thesis," said Guttersnipe, who apparently wrote his masters' thesis on the symbiotic relationship between market economics and social welfare. "I mean, like, if its gonna be this, yous gotta give something to the poor, inno? Gotta take care of em, inno, sosay don't falls true the cracks and turn to crime. Cuse, I's been poor. And one thing I know, and my studies demonstrated, poverty multiples when you lets it, inno? Like poor people like really skrewin, its hows we stays warm at night livin under a bridge. And most poor people ain't too educated niever, sosay don't protects emsefs. So poor folks have poor kids. Yous gotta help them get out of that business."

Until being elected, Guttersnipe continued busking, but he no longer lives on the streets. "See: im rags to riches, right? I gots me a house. Real nice. Moving up in the world. So I guess no more skrewin for me under the bridge, right? Gotsa learn to talk right like all the 'hoitie toitie Libbies'... Oh look at me, Ims a rich boy!" He was talking about getting a monacle so he would fit in with the still PL/LDP dominated government, but he finished with a laugh. "At's pretty funny, eh? Maybe I'll just get anova dog, inno? Stupid rich bastards..."

[TheCaliph]

Voice of the Free
August 4525


Interview with Haytham Kennedy

(İ)nterviewer:Hello dear readers,today we will be discussing the recent past and near future of Kalistan and LDP with the former Premier of the Republic,Mr.Haytham Kennedy,Hello Mr.Kennedy.

(H)aytham Kennedy:Good evening,and you can call me Haytham.

İ:Very well,Haytham. As you know Kalistan has veen in a very troubling spot recently,with Militias threatening the government with civil war,tensions high as ever and a very confused and troubled National Assembly,Do you feel that with the recent elections these things are behind us ? Also What is your opinion of the recent elections and the results ?

H:Well,obviously the opposition is not one of patience and respect for democratic principles,atleast it wasn’t in the last 6 years. They proved this by perfoming in my opinion the most embarrasing acts in Kalistani history. Declaring themselves militants and firing upon government officials and buildings,it was truly an embarassment and its sad that they have the facelessness to come into the Assembly and demand representation. But thats our democracy and thats the LDP love for freedom and liberty that allows such things and thats how it is but regardless of the events of the past,i believe that these elections will prove to stabilise the situation,even though i highly doubt the new President’s abilities,regardless i think through the communication and good-will of the LDP in the Assembly,We will overcome these issues,We have to.

İ:Do you see these elections as a failure for the LDP ?

H:Not exactly,İ see it as status quo,sure we lost some seats but so did almost every other party,due to new party coming in and naturally gaining attention from the population but the fact stands that we are still the second-largest party in Parliament and We have a good amount of authority.

İ:As you know a new government is needed to be formed,Would the LDP be willing to join a coalition formed by the new President which would naturally include the SP and possibly the other parties which claimed mutiny ?

H:We have no choice ! If we want to end hostilities,If we truly want a stable and safe Kalistan,We have no choice. However we do have conditions,first of all We will not join a government that’s led by Ewart of the NCP, Steele of the UKWF,although i do not know if he is in any state to perform. Also naturally we will want to enforce the fact that the LDP should lead the government after all.

İ:Micheal Wallace, the Liberal Democratic Party Chairman is rumored to resign after the formation of a new government,Would you be interested in taking his place ? Or would you support someone else from the party ?

H:I have given it no serious thought as we have more pressing issues to attemd to however i wont deny the possibility,i may or may not run in the primaries but regardless i believe that this is not the time for matters such as those.

İ:Thank you for your time Haytham !

H:My pleasure


Haytham Kennedy