A(bdulaziz) A(l-Khali): Maybe she wants to be the Queen of Kalistan too, I don't know... I don't think I'd vote for her, seeing how she's a monarchist and all, but...
(IZQUIERDA's) S(amantha) B(onsal): Ahem... Comrade President, we're about to begin.
AA: Alright.
SB: And 3, 2, ... Hello Comrades. I am here today with President of the Republic, Abdulaziz Al-Khali. Welcome Comrade.
AA: Thank you, Comrade. It's a pleasure as always.
SB: You've had some pretty choice words for the Northern Council recently. You've re-established that they are a "Death Cult". You've reaffirmed that they are imperialistic and expansionistic, and you've accurately described their penchant for antagonism of the world. And yet we see countries in the Thrall of the Northern Alliance's hypnotism come to their defense again and again. Dorvik for example...
AA: Yeah, well, of course, them and others. They justify their so-called peaceful nature by holding a 21 country military joint training exercise in the Mad Dog Ocean. I mean, I can't even begin to tell you how many Kalistani ships have been, to date inconvenienced by their ridiculously vainglorious displays of pugilistic nihilism.
SB: So, they have raised the matter of a possible alliance with Vanuku as invalidating the Non-Aligned Movement.
AA: Yes, they have said so. But that is their word, not mine.
SB: Which word?
AA: Alliance. We don't have an alliance with Vanuku. Even if they were to base their ships at the Bozo River, we would be strictly hosting them. That's the same deal we offered Lourenne, by the way. They would be covered by a SOFA agreement just like any country that used our facilities. Does it mean we are joining an alliance? I think not. Does it means if we finally have peace with Lourenne, which Kalistan still wants despite their Queen lipping off about Kalistan yet again, does that mean that we invalidate the Non-Aligned Movement Treaty? Anyone who bothers to read the Treaty will see it doesn't mean we don't have alliances. It means we don't JOIN alliances. Bilateral agreements for cooperation are explicitly excluded from from consideration under the Treaty. So we can work with Lourenne and still explicitly oppose the Northern Council. We can work with Vanuku and not be a part of the MUN alliance. Our training with Lodamun falls under a centuries old cooperation agreement between our two nations. I think the talking points of the Northern Council are a bit off, and betray a lack of literacy on the part of those who are offering comment.
SB: What would Vanuku coming back to Kalistan even look like?
AA: I don't know. They haven't come back. It's difficult to say.
SB: The Northern Council has stated that if Kalistan talks with Vanuku, they won't let Lourenne make peace with Kalistan. How does this bode for the current peace talks?
AA: I don't know. I mean, we're going to do everything we can to keep the talks going. But you know, when I read the Lourennaise Paper the other day, it looks like the NC high command got to the Queen and made her say that stuff. Lourenne knows that it has far more in common with Kalistan than it does with the imperialists in Kazulia and Hutori. That fact and that fact alone is what brought them to Kaliburg in the first place. Confidentially, I'm sure Lourenne saw peace with Kalistan as a way to begin breaking free of that thuggish extortion racket. We were glad to help: Anything to undermine the NC. And Kalistan needs friends in the neighborhood now that Sekowo has gone dark. Its a mutual benefit thing, you know. So the Queen says these things to please her imperialist friends. It probably shouldn't make any difference in the talks, unless of course, Kazulia and Hutori dictate foreign policy for Lourenne. I don't think this is the case. I believe the Queen will do what is right for Lourenne and for our region, even if it is wrong for the Northern Council.
SB: So, why Vanuku?
AA: Why not Vanuku?
SB: Well, Kalistan is on record as being the first country to respond to Vanukean use of nuclear weaponry.
AA: Yeah, well, that was a generation ago. And besides: We're in tit for tat mode with the NC, and Vanuku has always looked for opportunities to balance them. Bennots is their Queen's Husband, so there's another reason. They've sold us weapons in the past, and might be willing to do so again, so there's another reason. They still have sizeable investments in Kalistan, so there's another reason. But most importantly, and I don't pretend to understand it, but the mere word "Vanuku" seems to give them apoplexy. You saw how quick the response was, from both Dorvik and Lourenne, a country who didn't even acknowledge that Kalistan was on the map two months ago and a country who is trying to conclude peace with us now. "You better not," or "If you do, you're a hypocrite" was their response: Nothing new, of course, and we're used to it. I don't know. It seems like we just have to say the word and they freak.
SB: What of this charge of hypocrisy?
AA: We don't care. Our rule is, we follow the policy which is good for Kalistan. So its not hypocrisy to object to military exercises which are aimed at sending every nation of the world a message, which is "Don't mess with the Northern Council." We conduct military drills with Lodamun, and so what? They're good for Kalistan. Northern Council drills are not. No hypocrisy there. When Kazulia tests a new missile, that is bad for Kalistan. When Kalistan buys a weapons system and tests it, see, that's good for Kalistan. The ethic of Kalistan in foreign policy is to do what is in Kalistan's interest and strengthens Kalistani sovereignty and to look to Kalistan's interest before all others. We are, I don't regret to say, a nationalist country. It would be hypocritical therefore, for us to NOT conduct military exercises.
I'll say this, and I hope my friends who have for one reason or another tied themselves to the Northern Council juggernaut can hear this, but we will work with ANYONE who will allow us to improve our position, but we owe no debts to anyone, nor do we take orders from anyone. If you want to treat with us, then treat with us, but if anyone thinks that Kalistan will bow to any nation or any alliance or any regime that it is not in our interest to do so, they will be sadly mistaken. This is the one thing our friends in Lourenne should understand. We are happy to make peace with them, but we do so for Kalistan's benefit. If they can understand this, they will never have a reason to fear us or to doubt our sincerity. And there will be no impediment, of Kalistan's making whatsoever, that will give them reason to not trust us or work with us, or benefit from their relationship with us. Northern Council be damned, Kalistan is an independent country, and we will not bow though a hundred new missile systems from Kazulia be invented and aimed at Kaliburg.
SB: Those are mighty strong words, Comrade.
AA: The history of the people of Kalistan is one of overcoming domination. Ananto has been destroyed by Indrala and we've rebuilt and have become better. We've had civil wars with fascists, and Kalistan has stood strong. A neo-liberal collective security organization like the Northern Council is, well, they got cracks somewhere, and sometimes it takes a little country who isn't afraid of them to get in there. Just like water gets into rocks and freezes and destroys the rock. You know. Its an appropriate metaphor.
SB: Thank you, Comrade President. That's what we have time for today. If anything changes, of course, we will be back.
AA: I'm sure you will. IZQUIERDA is a good magazine, and I'm always down to talk to you all.
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