"We Crush Our Competition Until It Begs To Be Put Out Of Its Misery"
Open Letter to the Parties of the Trigunian Civil War
Good gentlemen, it is clear that for reasons better or worse your nation has fallen into a situation wherein further dialogue is useless and the only possible solution is violence. We sympathize heartily with both parties in this conflict, and wish from deep within our hearts here at SaiserCorp that we might grant unreserved aid gratuitously to all parties. Alas, such is not the manner in which markets function. However, we at SaiserCorp are extremely interested in the possibility of entering into services on a contractual basis with one of the two parties.
There are a great many services which SaiserCorp might provide parties such as yourselves, and feel that we would make exemplary business partners with either the brave forces of Godwin or the heroic troops of the current government. Our subsidiary company Dawn's Arms is fully capable of supplying any weaponry or munitions needs you might meet, and our recent merger partner of SZC Progressive Technologies is capable of providing any larger defense equipment you might require. If manpower is an issue, you might contract through us with our partners at Whitewater Peacekeeping Services, and for a nominal price of 2,222 TUK per day per head your forces will be supplied with as many highly-trained combat-ready individuals as you might desire (and pay for). SaiserCorp also owns controlling interests in Terran Energies Conglomerate and Ascension Fruits and Vegetables, through which SaiserCorp is fully capable of ensuring your nation meets its needs in terms of energy and agricultural products. We believe the prices of Ascension Fruits and Vegetables will particularly impress you, provided minor matters such as pervasive cholera and E. coli infections are not a concern. Finally, many problems with keeping battle-fatigued troops constantly hydrated can be rectified if you enter into an all-exclusive contract with our proud subsidiary Shock Cola. For well less than whatever price you are currently paying for water supplies, we at SaiserCorp promise to get Shock Cola to the troops and to serve them with beverages that are up to Our Saiser's rigorous standards.
We look forward to hearing from you and are extremely interested in pursuing a strategic business relationship on any of these matters.
Signed,
The Board of Directors
