Sbtlshjogad (Poll included, participatory RP!)

World events, conflicts, conferences and visits from all over.

Who won Sbtlshjogad and earned the right to be Jelb'koékaiék Mrjkai?

Prince Juhn III of Vanuku
15
56%
H'án Intrsmor Azisrmko of Jelbania
12
44%
 
Total votes : 27

Sbtlshjogad (Poll included, participatory RP!)

Postby Zanz » Tue Feb 23, 2016 6:59 pm

OOC: The gauntlet has been thrown down. Except the Jelbic don't wear gauntlets, or armor. Hell, you're lucky if you get them in clothes at all.

H'án Intsrmor Azisrmko of Jelbania has claimed the title Jelb'koékaiék Mrjkai - Protector of the Jelbic Peoples, a ceremonial title that has been held in the past by men who led the Jelbic-world, men who have struck fear into the hearts of the Zardic dogs and Barmenian... cats...

But the Jelbic Khan is not alone in claiming the title. The Princes of Vanuku, the heirs of Temrkai, have long called themselves the rightful Protectors.

The Electoral Committee has come to an impasse - the vote has split the Jelbosphere along the lines of the World War.

Now, on the brink of war, the Jelbic Khan has challenged the Vanukese Prince to the traditional warrior trial Sbtlshjogad, to determine who best to lead the Jelbic peoples. Who will emerge victorious?

You get to decide!!!!


In perhaps the first and likely the last (as I expect this to be a catastrophe) interactive RP ever to bless the pages of Particracy, WELCOME!

Here's how it works:

Reddy, who's a sick fellow and who can't keep a PC running to save his life, has come up with three very Jelbic challenges. Our contestants will undertake those challenges through first person RP and you, our adoring audience, will cast your votes. You'll decide who gets this overwhelmingly meaningless title! WHAT EXCITEMENT!

Also I'm not going to tell you the challenges, you're gonna have to wait!

A few ground rules:
1. We welcome OOC encouragement. We also welcome OOC disparagement, so long as it's only directed at Kubrick. Just kidding about that, but remember, he's Dutch or something, so he really deserves it.
2. Please don't post IC here, though. This is a Jelbic affair.
2a. If you absolutely HAVE to post, like you've got some great idea and just have to let the creative juices flow, please let both of us know first.
3. I've set up the poll to allow people to change their votes. As such, please cast a vote after each round!. If you still think your man has stayed the leader, keep your vote where it was. If you think the other man has swayed you, feel free to switch it up. Know that only the third and final round of voting will really count, though, and remember the very high stakes here. You can either let a true Jelbic man rule the Jelbosphere in name only, or you can let Juhn the girly girl 60 year old have it.

NOW, IN THE NAME OF IMPARTIAL OPs, LET THE SBTLSHJOGAD BEGIN!
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Re: Sbtlshjogad (Poll included, participatory RP!)

Postby Zanz » Tue Feb 23, 2016 7:09 pm

OOC:

WTH guys, 2-0 for Juhn already?!

This is going to go swimmingly.

EDIT: There you go, bastards... 2-1 now :D
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Re: Sbtlshjogad (Poll included, participatory RP!)

Postby Zanz » Tue Feb 23, 2016 8:25 pm

Northwestern Baniray steppe, near the Vanukese-Jelbic border, 150 km northwest of Zwitkostrhosé

The high, arid steppe of northern Jelbania was an unforgiving place. It was no accident that the Vanukese called their southern border region the Hyéonsrlji Snta, the Hot South. Even the Jelbék tribesmen of old had struggled to live in this place - water was too scarce for the horses, and only Hydwasj'mogad, camels from the desert mountains of the region, could survive for long. For miles in every direction treacherous, rocky terrain interspersed with short and angry looking scrub met the eye. Scorpions with stings so potent they could fell a horse and poisonous snakes that left winding trails of dust in their path were a constant danger, and no civilization, Jelbic or Vanukese, had made significant gains into the wilds of the great interior steppe.

It was here, to Hell on Terra, that H'án Intrsmor Azisrmko Knzmazrk and his retinue of thirty nine Támnrmnmokai rode astride forty hardy camels. The H'án raised his fist to the sky, and the horde came to a very dromedary halt, chewing and chewing, both man and steed.

"Abue hrzy Jeztri orzy ujmojuo. Heijozuo zri? Hipylz hrzy `Temrkaiék Mazrk` grzy jajohylak, Re orzy krmojatra. Prjpjogah yrzá." (Above the hawks are flying. Hearing are you? At this place "Temrkai's heir" we will meet, if he comes. Make ready!)

The Jelbék riders swung to the hard red gravel in a motion that belied decades of practice. These were no Jeztaghényr Jelbék, the Settled Jelbék of Baofluz and the other cities who hard forsaken the ways of Timur H'án for paltry finished goods and the rinds of civilization - these were Jeztaghé Jelbék, the inheritors of the steppe and the heirs of the Jelbic hordes.

They set about making camp, skewering the snakes and catching the scorpions in small baskets woven of steppe grasses. They set the snakes on spits and lit fires to roast them, and they unleashed the scorpions on one another to fight to the death, stingers raised.

All that remained was to wait. The Sbtlshjogad was challenged. Would Prince Juhn III arrive?

OOC N.B. to Kubrick: I know you won't because the Vanukese aren't true Jelbics and hardly speak the language at all, but I'd recommend not trying to write in Jelbék unless you'd like to pass your night looking up the conditional form of krmo - that shit took forever.

HOWEVER, I made some new words. <3
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Re: Sbtlshjogad (Poll included, participatory RP!)

Postby Oakwood » Wed Feb 24, 2016 4:10 am

OOC: Okay it's eight to three now...this is getting sad. :P
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Re: Sbtlshjogad (Poll included, participatory RP!)

Postby Kubrick » Wed Feb 24, 2016 1:32 pm

Northwestern Baniray steppe, near the Vanukese-Jelbic border, 150 km northwest of Zwitkostrhosé.

His father was no warrior. His father had been groomed for diplomacy and educated in the finer arts, like proper monarchs from the North and East. He was no weak man, but no warrior. He however, he was a warrior. His father had seen the importance of tradition when he was younger and had an esteemed tribe of the Krlmek tutor him in the true ways. It was he, prince Wrntukai Juhnsrmo Banmek-Sntazed, the heir of Vanuku, that would defend the honour of his father and win him his rightful title. He was raised the traditional ways, but he had also been taught the modern ways. The eagle eyes in the sky had informed them the H'án's party was forty riders. So he made sure his party had fifty.

They approached the Jelbék camp in style and formation, with him at the front. He was 27 years old and set to inherit the most powerful nation of the world. He halted his camel and raised his hand. "Greetings, honoured foe. Are you ready to meet the Skyfather?" he spoke, in Wrnukék. The Jelbeks would understand him, though they had a queer accent.
"see yah i think kubs is right" ~Zanz

"I’m pretty sure your buddy Kubrick was upset he couldn’t just resort to his old ways" ~Auditorii

"You can blame Polites and Kubrick for that nightmare" ~Doc
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Re: Sbtlshjogad (Poll included, participatory RP!)

Postby Zanz » Wed Feb 24, 2016 4:41 pm

OOC: The H'án is mounting a comeback - only losing 9-8 as of this writing! Kubrick - I sort of just assumed, but maybe I shouldn't have - Reddy reached out to you with the challenges, right? Your comment about meeting the Skyfather makes me wonder ;) In terms of how we proceed - do you want to take turns going first for each of the three challenges, or do you want to pick any order? If you want to go first, let me know, otherwise my next IC post I can both acknowledge your presence and undertake the first challenge.
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Re: Sbtlshjogad (Poll included, participatory RP!)

Postby Kubrick » Wed Feb 24, 2016 5:50 pm

OOC: Yes, I can forward Reddy's ideas to you if you want. I was a bit busy so I just introduced my champion and was hoping you would start the first challenge.
"see yah i think kubs is right" ~Zanz

"I’m pretty sure your buddy Kubrick was upset he couldn’t just resort to his old ways" ~Auditorii

"You can blame Polites and Kubrick for that nightmare" ~Doc
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Re: Sbtlshjogad (Poll included, participatory RP!)

Postby Captain-Socialist » Wed Feb 24, 2016 6:04 pm

OOC: Jelbania forever Vanuku never!
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Re: Sbtlshjogad (Poll included, participatory RP!)

Postby Zanz » Wed Feb 24, 2016 8:37 pm

Kubrick wrote:OOC: Yes, I can forward Reddy's ideas to you if you want. I was a bit busy so I just introduced my champion and was hoping you would start the first challenge.


OOC: I got the challenges too :) I'll post tomorrow night CET, no worries.

Captain-Socialist wrote:OOC: Jelbania forever Vanuku never!


:D
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Re: Sbtlshjogad (Poll included, participatory RP!)

Postby Zanz » Thu Feb 25, 2016 7:53 pm

As the Vanukese company rode into view of the Jelbék camp with the young prince at the fore, full of piss and vinegar, the H'án snorted and spat and raised his head to the sky. The steppe sun blazed, radiating heat that shimmered throughout the landscape and that robbed the air of all vapor. The Prince of Vanuku, diplomat and Zardic dog, 'Emperor of the Augustans,' sent his wild-boy heir. Typical Jeztaghényr - Juhn was no Temrkai. H'án Intrsmor Azisrmko dropped his eyes to the steppe and focused on the young Vanukese heir.

The H'án had never met the young Wrntukai Juhnsrmo - he had only heard rumors that the woman-Prince of Vanuku had had enough manly sense to raise an heir with Jelbic pride. That was something. For a moment, the H'án felt concern - Wrntukai Juhnsrmo was less than half the H'án's age, and the Krlmék of Vanuku were some of the scarce few still true to the old ways in the Vanukese reaches. But the worry never flashed upon the Jelbék's face - to show weakness would be to betray the way of the steppe - weakness was not tolerated in the scorpion wastes of Baniray or the infinite grasslands of Perimor.

The fifty camels of the prince's entourage came to a halt, dust floating in the northern wind, and the prince spoke. His Wrnukék was wry and aloof - only the Vanukese princes speak a tongue of Timur H'án sound such a way. When the Wrntukai Juhnsrmo spoke his peace, the H'án spoke his. "Zàrdé Dnusrmko grzy jajozuo hrerwa Zàrdé Dnu grzy jajokrza. Tanhri orzy Hye wrzy shikjokrza. Tanhriék Nrma orzy kntdeba grzy ajozuo hrerwa Mnmokai grzy sndebaki Hye wrzy brmokjozuo. Frtoék srmko ajozuo." ("A Zardic dog's son I am meeting but a Zardic dog I am not meeting. Tanhri you do not know of. Tanhri's number forty is being, but riders, fifty you are bringing. Father's son you are being.") He spat on the ground and motioned to one of his Támnrmnmokai, who brought forth a behemoth female camel, her lips sagging from her grinding teeth, her dull brown eyes removed. The rider handed the reigns of the cow to the H'án and ran back through the gathered crowd. As the H'án waited for his return, he stood in silence, his hand running the length of the camel's neck, through her shaggy brown fur.

The young rider returned at a sprint with a small and sturdy stool of oak in his left hand, and a large and battered bowl made of hammered tin and a thick cut of rope roughly an arm's length in his right. He handed these to the H'án and took the reigns of the cow in hand once more, and lifted his wrist, where those assembled could see a fine wristwatch. He glanced at it, glanced up, and nodded silently to the Jelbék H'án.

Intrsmor Azisrmko immediately went to work with studied hands. He set the stool and bowl swiftly beneath the cow and moved to her right flank. His hands deftly swung the rope around her rear legs, tying the restraint carefully so as not to be so constrictive that she panicked but also to be tight enough to prevent her moving from his reach. Once satisfied that the rope was secure, he sat on the stool and reached to a teat with one motion.

In his youth, Intrsmor Azisrmko had done this countless times - Suadjasrl Azisrmko, H'án before him, had hated milking the clan's camels, had despised the smell of the salty lactation, but Intrsmor Azisrmko was at home with the animals.

Grasping firmly with his index finger first and then the remainder of his left hand, he tested the teat and sent some of the camel's nutrient-rich milk tinkling into the tin bowl. He was careful, as was tradition, to waste nothing - milk was gold in the dry steppe. When the first squirt came forth, Intrsmor Azisrmko, H'án of Jelbania, milked the cow in front of 90 men, face set and lips pursed in concentration.

As the bowl filled with the frothy white liquid, the smell of the milk wafted into the desert air. Thick beige cream rose to the surface. The H'án had heard that some - he presumed that Prince Juhn was among them - balked at the sight of such ambrosia. He did not understand - could not. This was the gift of Tahnri, and had kept Jelbic hordes alive in the hardest times.

When the teat ran dry, H'án Intrsmor Azisrmko drank - deeply and happily he drank. The milk, still warm with the cow's body heat and saltier than most, would gag many men. The Jelbék H'án did not gag. This was a man of the steppe.

OOC: For reference. Kubrick, I know it was supposed to be yak milking, but we've only got camels around.

ALSO I didn't know how to make camel milking competitive, so I threw in the bit about the very out-of-place wristwatch. If you think it should be less of a timed event and more of a just "who can milk a camel with the most honor" type thing (which might be more Jelbic) feel free to pretend it's not timed.

ALSO, probably the weirdest RP I've ever written.
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