Geoffrey Briggs, President of Fortland:
Members of the General Assembly,
I am delighted to inform you that this year my small nation is celebrating a bumper spaghetti harvest. We are expecting to be able to export the finest spaghetti that has even been grown in living memory, and in greater quantities than we have ever previously achieved. International agricultural analysts are unanimous in their verdict that we have knocked Istalia off the top spot and are now the number 1 country for spaghetti. We truly understand the unique qualities of the spaghetti plant and how it can best be nurtured and cultivated.
Demand for our premium quality spaghetti is immense, and prices for it have gone through the roof. However, we are prepared to offer favourable trading terms to nations who are prepared to enter into meaningful, mutually-beneficial, long-term economic, cultural and political relationships with us.