Fellow delegates,
On behalf of the Greater Malivian Empire, I can assure this august Assembly that the claims about our country attempting to deluge Keymon with sewage are completely false, originally based on irresponsible journalism, and then exploited for purely political purposes by Keymon. The fact of the matter is that Keymon has neglected to take care of its beaches for many years, due to civil war, economic disruption and administrative dislocation. This is the sole reason Keymon's once pristine beaches are now filthily disgusting, and despite the propagation of lies to the contrary, they were no less filthily disgusting the day before the alleged sewage discharge than they were the day after.
Keymon's she-tyrant Eva has not only waged a brutal war of oppression on her own people against King Carlu's legitimate claim to the throne, leaving her country a shadow of its former self, but has also in recent years been engaging in the most reckless way in matters of international affairs. She has, as an example,
placed a 50 million KED bounty on her own brother and Sovereign Lord, King Carlu, who is our guest here in Maliva, and has
orchestrated an assassination attempt on him, here on Malivian soil, in a despicable and cowardly attack which left several people killed or injured. She has also
refused our very reasonable requests for her to co-operate in our investigation of that deplorable act of terrorism. Not content with just that, she has furthermore
imposed a serious of spiteful economic and travel sanctions against Malivia which everybody knows will hurt her own people far, far more than it will the citizens of our own fast-developing economy.
Fellow delegates, in circumstances as dire as these, most countries in our position would wash our hands of Keymon and leave it to wallow in its own excrement. However, the Malivian people share a strong link of kinship with the people of Keymon, who we recognise and cherish as the
monkey children of Yekmon. Keymon is part of our ancestral heritage, and part of the Greater Malivia which once was, and we still hope - Aculaguna (OOC: the supreme divinity) willing - will one day, through peaceful and democratic means, come in to form again. And so, for the sake of the love that we bear for the land of Keymon and its people, we have
offered to host peace talks on power-sharing between King Carlu and Eva in order to bring about peace and stability on a more long-term basis to that poor, suffering, war-weary island.
I am disappointed to report that so far Keymon has not responded to this invitation. They are, however, now
asking us for 25 million KED in order to help them clean up their beaches. Fellow delegates, it is no secret we are a poor country with a significant budget deficit, and cannot easily afford to give away money. Nevertheless, as a gesture of our goodwill and our commitment to Keymon's future, Prime Minister Patanjali Ganapuli has asked me to offer the Keymon government
9 million KED on the condition they agree to attend the power-sharing peace talks which we have offered to host.
The international community will, I hope, understand and respect the position Malivia is taking on this issue.
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Turning now to other matters on the World Congress' agenda...
In regard to Kalopia, the Greater Malivian Empire respects the outcome of Kalopia's last democratic election, and understands the Kalopian government's aspiration to preserve its nation's culture and way of life. We see no need for international sanctions to be implemented against Kalopia, and indeed, if these were imposed, we are concerned they might prove to strengthen the very tendencies which the supporters of sanctions were opposed to in the first place.
We oppose the proposal to abolish the World Congress Peacekeeping Office, as we believe there is a potential role for World Congress Peacekeepers to play in current and future conflict situations around the world. As a gesture of support for this institution, we are prepared to offer to second 1000 of our soldiers to the Office.
We support the proposal to eliminate the veto power of permanent members of the Security Council, although if this was to be done, we would prefer Security Council resolutions required a "super majority" - perhaps three-fifths or two-thirds. Given the unlikelihood that such a scheme will be approved, as an alternative proposal, we call instead upon the current permanent members - Dorvik, Hutori and Yingdala - to provide an assurance that they will, at least, agree to consider very carefully before utilising a veto, and agree to only do so in circumstances where they genuinely can see no alternative.
Mr. Birtan Gozubuyuk, Jakanian Permanent Representative to the World Congress:
