Jelbék Bank of the World

[Lewis13]

This is by far the most bizzare, but funny, bank I have ever invested small amounts of money in.

We have many a vacuum down our way, we do. The leading cause of un-natural death is being drowned in Vacuums. It happens more than you think.

As for 'the Sheep', well they are just bloody brilliant.

[RIS]

We would like to inquire as to the interest rates that an account holder might receive at your bank. We would also like to know the methods in which you would procure such an interest rate.

Sincerely,

Lewis Holmes
CEO of the International Terran Bank

[Kubrick]

Greetings, kinsmen of the JBotW!

My name is Pawl, son of Pawl, of the clan Kahzknz. I am a proper Jelbék investor with -no- ties to the Vanukean regime.

I repeat, my friends, I have no ties to the Vanukeans.

Apart from having no ties to the Vanukeans I am a successful businessman, yet the tax offices in evil foreign nations do not agree with me.

I wish to open new account on my name, or hide it under something foreign, and deposit 100 000 000 LOD. Legit money, no ties to Vanukeans.

Thank you.

~ Pawl Pawlsrmo Kahzknz, legitimate businessman and not a Vanukean.

[Zanz]

This is by far the most bizzare, but funny, bank I have ever invested small amounts of money in.

We have many a vacuum down our way, we do. The leading cause of un-natural death is being drowned in Vacuums. It happens more than you think.

As for 'the Sheep', well they are just bloody brilliant.

Esteeming you Mr. Lewis Unlucky Number,

You are giving us so many kindness. We are happiness to making you laugh and to keeping your moneys safe and sound!

I am asking you, and I am hoping I am not seeming snooty-tooty, and am begging that your are forgiving me if it is so, but how do you not learns to swim in sea of vacuums if sea of vacuums is so common in your countries? We are not being great at swimmings in Jelbania because water is sloshy-slippy and is not good but for horses drinking, but even we are not drowning too oftens unless we are drinking too much fermented milk of the mares if your are knowing what I am meaning?

I am glad you are enjoying the sheeps.

Hoping you a safe swimming in vacuum seas.

We would like to inquire as to the interest rates that an account holder might receive at your bank. We would also like to know the methods in which you would procure such an interest rate.

Sincerely,

Lewis Holmes
CEO of the International Terran Bank

Hello Mr. Holmes!

Are you knowing that we are having other customers named Lewis?! We are very friendly with Lewises in Jelbania. We are inviting you to invest. We are maybe even able to introduce you! HA!

We are thinking you are maybe not understandings our bank. Is ok, it is not simple concept, and maybes you are not actually havings good mother who is teaching you in yurt as child? I am meaning no insults of course. But it being my duty, of course, to teaching you.

Here in Jelbék Bank of the World we are not offerings interest. We are not seeing why we should, because we are not Yeudis, and if you are being a Yeudis you are being asked to leave, HA HA HA! I am kiddings of course, you are not smelling like a Yeudis. But, really, if you are a Yeudis wearing a perfumes you must telling me so I am knowing to hiding the golds.

Anyways we are not offerings interest. We are offerings simply that an honest man can taking his money, putting it in our bunker, deep and cold, and we are keeping it right where he is leaving it, as we are saying in Jelbania, "Jezhrjebrnfi orzy Ujoj hrzy krmojatra timad!" We are not letting any Yeudis or dirty law mens taking it, or even seeing it. It is being safe. This is our offerings.

So, how can I being helpful to you? Are you wanting to depositing your bankings stolen profits and seizings? We are not having any problems in this!

Greetings, kinsmen of the JBotW!

My name is Pawl, son of Pawl, of the clan Kahzknz. I am a proper Jelbék investor with -no- ties to the Vanukean regime.

I repeat, my friends, I have no ties to the Vanukeans.

Apart from having no ties to the Vanukeans I am a successful businessman, yet the tax offices in evil foreign nations do not agree with me.

I wish to open new account on my name, or hide it under something foreign, and deposit 100 000 000 LOD. Legit money, no ties to Vanukeans.

Thank you.

~Pawl Pawlsrmo Kahzknz, legitimate businessman and not a Vanukean.

Hello Pawl Pawlsrmko,

It is nice to be having good kinsmen in our business partnerings! Being at ease, we here at this finest world establishingment are not caring if you are Juhn III, Emperor of the Augustans! We are not having any problems with our friends in Vanuku, and we are having no problems at all with anyone who is bringing so much moneys! We are digging you special bunker that is bigger to holding all of this!

I am remindings you, it is one percentage for us on deposits, and one percentage for us on withdrawals, so we are taking some and we are surely not usings it for anythings that you would disapprove of. We are promising. Who are we, Yeudis? HA HA!

No, mostly we are going to buying grains for the herds, we are thinking. It is nice to knowing that we are having a well eating herds for the winters, but of course you are knowing this.

We are going to giving you a secret code names, so that you are discreted. We are going to be calling you Mr. Alan Warshaw. We are thinking a Yeudis name is good for this number of moneys, are you agreeing, Mr. Alan?

OK. I am going to buying grains now. Absolute.

[Reddy]

Greetings to the great money men of the JBotW,

My name is Heracles Eupator. I'm the founder CEO of Eupator Fishing Industries. Your fellow countrymen have greatly assisted me, capturing several fleeing...machinery from Deltatia, lying machines which accuse the benevolent Czar Father and his ministers of crimes. Due to excessive diligence and,valour, your fellow countrymen have captured too many of these breathing machines and they are useless mouths...eh um... I wonder if the great bank could store about 400 machines in its great vaults. It is an unusual request...and I did take my medication.... but I hope my friendships with several of your fellow countrymen will help.

[Lewis13]

Vacuums are hard to swim in.

[Zanz]

Greetings to the great money men of the JBotW,

My name is Heracles Eupator. I'm the founder CEO of Eupator Fishing Industries. Your fellow countrymen have greatly assisted me, capturing several fleeing...machinery from Deltatia, lying machines which accuse the benevolent Czar Father and his ministers of crimes. Due to excessive diligence and,valour, your fellow countrymen have captured too many of these breathing machines and they are useless mouths...eh um... I wonder if the great bank could store about 400 machines in its great vaults. It is an unusual request...and I did take my medication.... but I hope my friendships with several of your fellow countrymen will help.

Greeting you with happy facings, Mr. Planet Name,

You are owning a company that is making premiums fish sticks. We are having many of these in Jelbania and they are not giving us bloated stomach any times at all, which is higher praisings than I can be giving to most Jelbanian fishers!

I am pleasing to heared that our Jelbanian horsemens are being very profitable and successfully in human resources departments for you. We are understanding that it is difficult to finding good machinery in these years and are very joyous the hearing you are having an excess.

We are understanding of course that the finest machineries are needing safe keeping and minimum feedings and waterings while not being gutting water-mice. You are happy to hearing that Urji Klunesrmko is offerings to giving waters and foods to machines from Freehold Republic once a weeks when he is giving to horses near the bunker. We, of nature, would be requiring you to provide the foods. Perhaps some of your excellent fishes? HA HA! We can providings the water free of charge, we are no Hutoris! Is this arrangements premiums for you?

[Lewis13]

Can we deposit an extra 1,000 gun... I mean, long sticks with holes in them?

[colonelvesica]

Greetings to the JBotW

We are Marriott Family. We are needing a secure location with which to hide our money earned from things the Hutorian lawman deems "unlawful". We know this is really just an excuse for the tax man to take one mans hard earned profits, regardless of how they were obtained, whether its shipping guns, narcotics, or even people. This is clearly a plot to take our money they are too lazy and too stupid to earn themselves.

We are wishing to make a deposit of 255 million LOD to hide in your secure bunkers.

If you can secure our money we will remember our Jelbic friends in the future.

Tyler Marriott

[Reddy]

Honored bankers,

I did not become so rich by spending money on machines. I have a counter proposal for the food issue. Could the wise bankers pay for that and in exchange they can get half of the annual um... interest, the little machines. Majatran machines are super champions at reproduction, better than Indralans even. They are yours to donate to the Lord Khan for target practice or maybe to use to solve title conflict with the Prince of Vanuku. First one to shoot is the greatest Jelbic or something.

Heracles Eupator
CEO of Eupator Fishing Industries