If Hitler were alive today...

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Re: If Hitler were alive today...

Postby Captain-Socialist » Sun Jun 14, 2009 5:52 pm

We're off-topic in off-topic again.
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Re: If Hitler were alive today...

Postby AngryMollusc » Sun Jun 14, 2009 9:51 pm

Amazeroth wrote:
AngryMollusc wrote:Well said. Valhalla >>> Heaven.


But arabic heaven (lots and lots of girls) >>> Valhalla (drinking in order to prepare for your last fight)

After some consideration, I'm willing to cede this point.

On an unrelated note, I've decided to convert to Islam.
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Re: If Hitler were alive today...

Postby Darvian » Sun Jun 14, 2009 10:35 pm

Just remember, the promise of many virgins may have some small print catch to it. I have genuinely always wondered what happens when suicide-bombers figure out they get 72 mother-in-laws too.
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Re: If Hitler were alive today...

Postby Molotov » Mon Jun 15, 2009 1:03 pm

Amazeroth is right, Khaler, Allah isn't our God. The Christian God is triune, Allah is not. That was the first, if perhaps not now the most significant difference, between Christianity and Islam. It is why the Muslims chant, "There is no god by Allah" and we end our prayer's with "In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit." It's a pretty big difference when you think about it, we have a deity who is at once human, the God of Abraham, and everything.

I don't know if there are any major differences between Odin and Woden, I was just taught at school that Woden was the Saxon name for Odin. I don't know if the former had one eye, was hanged on the tree and learned the nine spells, maybe the Anglo-Saxons had a different mythology.
Last edited by Molotov on Mon Jun 15, 2009 2:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: If Hitler were alive today...

Postby Opakidabar » Mon Jun 15, 2009 2:07 pm

Molotov wrote:It's a pretty big difference when you think about it, we have a deity who is at once human, the God of Abraham, and everything.

I always thought that was kind of schizophrenic. This trinity stuff.
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Re: If Hitler were alive today...

Postby Darvian » Mon Jun 15, 2009 2:24 pm

Opakidabar wrote:
Molotov wrote:It's a pretty big difference when you think about it, we have a deity who is at once human, the God of Abraham, and everything.

I always thought that was kind of schizophrenic. This trinity stuff.


Depends on how clever the Christian is as to whether or not you'll hear one of the more elegant explanations. The Trinity ought be thought of like water. Water can be frozen and then it is ice. Water can be boiled and it is steam. Steam turns back into water. Ice turns back into water. My religious upbringing (the fundamentalist crackpots as mentioned previously) had no talk of a Trinity. Prayers were not concluded as such, 'In the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit." This was by some considered blasphemous; amazing how Christians love one another. I assure you I recall many holidays where the Trinity Vs. Godhead factions squared off on how to end our collective prayer. Our nutters side contended the the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit was as revealed to mankind-Jesus and hence all prayers concluded as such, "In the name of Jesus." Ahh, I love the smell of theology in the morning.
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Re: If Hitler were alive today...

Postby Molotov » Mon Jun 15, 2009 2:39 pm

Opakidabar wrote:
Molotov wrote:It's a pretty big difference when you think about it, we have a deity who is at once human, the God of Abraham, and everything.

I always thought that was kind of schizophrenic. This trinity stuff.


It is interesting how many ancient and modern religions have an element of the trinity or a triune deity of some kind. Hinduism has the Trimurti, the ancient Zoroastrians had the evil god, the good god, and chaos - who were all the same being. It crops up quite often through history, as does the use of three or multiples of three (Odin's nine days, nine spells, the three roots of the World Tree that covered nine worlds). Although this may be because the Norse thought in multiples of three, I have no idea, I've never looked into it.
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Re: If Hitler were alive today...

Postby Captain-Socialist » Mon Jun 15, 2009 4:31 pm

A suicide bomber goes to market, and he is extremely excited about meeting his virgins. He detonates, killing 10 Arabs and 4 Americans. He is then taken up to heaven to get his reward, but when he gets there he is surrounded by ghastly, deformed women. He is extremely angry and gathers round his fellow martyrs in a meeting.

"Why has Allah lied to us?" he cries "we where promised virgins. Did we not die for the jihad? We must go to Allah and demand he keep his promise!"

So the martyrs form a mob and surge up onto Allah's cloud, Allah is shocked and asks them "Why are you here, and why so angry? Are you not satisfied with my gifts?"

"Gifts!?" splutter the martyrs, red with rage "Those hags are ghastly, we where promised a eternity of paradise with virgins! We demand you keep your promise!"

"But I have" replied Allah "it's your fault for not asking why they are still virgins."
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Re: If Hitler were alive today...

Postby Opakidabar » Mon Jun 15, 2009 6:06 pm

Molotov wrote:It is interesting how many ancient and modern religions have an element of the trinity or a triune deity of some kind. Hinduism has the Trimurti, the ancient Zoroastrians had the evil god, the good god, and chaos - who were all the same being. It crops up quite often through history, as does the use of three or multiples of three (Odin's nine days, nine spells, the three roots of the World Tree that covered nine worlds). Although this may be because the Norse thought in multiples of three, I have no idea, I've never looked into it.

Latvian mythology and tales features concept of "Trejdeviņi" ("threenine", in a way - over threenine seas and threenine hills, meaning "faraway land") which was once explained by one of our folk scientist in a manner that put me in shock.
"trejdevini" = 9*9*9 = 729, which is ~ 365 days and 365 nights. So over threenine lands means a distance that can be done in a year.
So either coincidence or my ancestors did some maths :)
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Re: If Hitler were alive today...

Postby Amazeroth » Tue Jun 16, 2009 1:45 am

Darvian wrote:
Opakidabar wrote:
Molotov wrote:It's a pretty big difference when you think about it, we have a deity who is at once human, the God of Abraham, and everything.

I always thought that was kind of schizophrenic. This trinity stuff.


Depends on how clever the Christian is as to whether or not you'll hear one of the more elegant explanations. The Trinity ought be thought of like water. Water can be frozen and then it is ice. Water can be boiled and it is steam. Steam turns back into water. Ice turns back into water. My religious upbringing (the fundamentalist crackpots as mentioned previously) had no talk of a Trinity. Prayers were not concluded as such, 'In the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit." This was by some considered blasphemous; amazing how Christians love one another. I assure you I recall many holidays where the Trinity Vs. Godhead factions squared off on how to end our collective prayer. Our nutters side contended the the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit was as revealed to mankind-Jesus and hence all prayers concluded as such, "In the name of Jesus." Ahh, I love the smell of theology in the morning.


Quite crackpotty indeed.
Eines Tages traf Karl der Große eine alte Frau.
"Guten Tag, alte Frau", sagte Karl der Große.
"Guten Tag, Karl der Große", sagte die alte Frau.
Solche und ähnliche Geschichten erzählt man sich über die Leutseligkeit Karls des Großen.
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