Barmenistan

[Zanz]

Twin Sultans "refuse to acknowledge" the marriage of Jelbek H'an to Dztek harlot, proclaim Shba Irtsmai rightful Hatun of Jelbania in rare joint statement

The Dzték harlot with whom the Jelbék H'an has taken up residence is a pretender and an insult to the Twin Sultanates, the Jrl-Banmek-Sntazed name, and the Protector of the Jelbic Peoples. Shba Irtsmai is the rightful Hatun of Jelbestán and is the only rightful bearer of heirs to the Jelbék H'an. We refuse to acknowledge the marriage of the Jelbék H'an to this Drtárestánék Trnksugváldjohiko, and shall recognize no heirs for the H'an except those born by Shba Irtsmai.

Traitor Rabban's wife will "rot in prison" says spokesman for the Felinist Sultan

The Felinist Sultanate has no plans to waive punishment for Nasiba Rabban, who foolishly turned herself in to the Sultanate and was found guilty of treason and inciting revolt at trial.

"The false prophet's wife will rot in prison," said a spokesman for Sltn Jemrjkai in a press conference. "She is not worthy of a swift death in execution, and the followers of her late husband have learned by his pathetic example exactly what happens to those who preach heresy in the Twin Sultanates."

Ahmadi Sultan warns that upcoming elections may be targets for Apostolic Army terror, advises not participating

Sultan Intrsmor has advised loyal subjects in the Ahmadi Sultanate that the Apostolic Army may take advantage of the upcoming elections to target Akim-fearing Ahmadis as they attempt to cast their votes. The Sultan warned that while the Ahmadi Sultanate was doing all that it could to prevent attacks, it could not guarantee total safety, and therefore advised skipping the vote this year.

"The Sultanate is in the stable hands of a working coalition and has no need to concern itself with such trivial affairs as an election - the mandate of the people is known. We shall quell this insipid uprising and reestablish security and our next elections shall be free of the fear of radical Hosian meddling. In the mean time, do not vote, simply allow the state to carry onward."

[Kubrick]

Apostolic Army sends out demands after another shocking attack
"Next election you will all vote to end the tyranny, down with the savages and catfuckers!"


The Cat's Paw was one of six pubs and café's that were struck with firebombs on election day.

"Barmenistan will be Barmenia again." With harrowing words Jusuv Frj, the leader of the Apostolic Army, started a video message that was released on the internet after a massive series of terrorist attacks killed forty-eight and wounded over one-hundred people. The terrorist attack on election day and night were a reaction by the Apostolic Army on the statement of the Ahmadi Sultan, who adviced people to avoid voting to be safe from a terrorist attack. "All must vote to end the tyranny, all must vote to show the world the democracy in rightful Barmenia is a sham, all must vote to show the world that Hosians rule Barmenia and not cats and savage pigs," Frj continued. "We struck these places of social gathering to show the people that wearing blinds and ignoring the struggle is a mistake. A grave mistake. Do not listen to your false Twin Sultans, they feed you lies so they can oppress you. Hosianism will find its place back in Barmenian society, I swear that to the Lord Above." Jusuv Frj looked healthy and well-fed on the video, which was shot in high quality in a luxury background in what seems to be a manor with all comforts included. To all eyes Frj does not look like a man that is being hunted and scared, in fact Frj looks determined to continue his crusade.

[Polites]

'Spiritual Assemblies' Elected
Cultists get organized


The "National Spiritual Assembly" of Istalia

March 4289 - The imprisonment of False Caliph Nasiba Rabban has left the Ruhi cult without guidance. Reacting to this most welcome development, the Ruhi communities outside Barmenistan have, on their own accord, taken to organizing "Spiritual Assemblies" as mandated in the Dīatēqē Rūḥānētā, one of the cult's "holy books". In all places where the Rabbanite seed has been planted cultists have established elected spiritual assemblies at the local, and, in Vanuku and Istalia, at the national level, to coordinate the cultists' activities, manage their growing wealth, and serve as an embryo for the theocratic world government they aim to establish. In Barmenistan itself cultists in some localities appear to have organized themselves into local "spiritual assemblies", though reports about such activities are unclear. If accurate, this would be a significant violation of Barmenian law and an attack on the Sultanate's body politic more severe and deadly than the ongoing Apostolic Army terrorist attacks. Of the greatest concern for the Sultanate however is the risk that at some point one nation or another, under the guise of "human rights" or "democracy", will turn the so far benevolent opinion of the international community against Barmenistan, using the legitimate restrictions the Sultanate places on the terrorist cult as pretext to violate the Sultanate's sovereignty. In order to avoid this disastrous outcome, if would be in Barmenistan's best interests to fully debunk the myths and theology of this cult and prove to all of Terra that Ismail Rabban was naught but an insolent charlatan who brought his rightful punishment upon himself.

[Zanz]

Ahmadi Sultanate bans Nepata cataria cultivation



Nepata cataria, better known as "catnip", is a vitally important plant in the Felinist religion and its cultivation will now be forbidden by law in the Ahmadi Sultanate after a proclamation from Sultan Intrsmor today.

The nefarious weed that the Nkaszilsrtajohiko hold in such high regard is beneath the beautiful gardens of Sekhmet. We shall not have it grown here, and shall turn the land over to productive use, to lilies, tulips, and azaleas, which are known for their righteous hatefulness to the feline race.

The Ahmadi Sultanate announced a simultaneous effort to purchase as much catnip on the world market as is possible, leading experts to speculate that they might be attempting to drive the price up and place undue burden on Felinist religious ceremonies, which heavily consume catnip.

The Felinist Sultanate did not have a comment at press time.

Sultans will both visit Narikaton and Darnussia, ancestral home of Thaller family

The Twin Sultans, scions of the house Jrl-Banmek-Sntazed and grandsons of Jens V Thaller (Sultan Jens I of Barmenistan), will visit Narikaton and Darnussia at the invitation of the Thaller family to meet extended relatives and discuss the potential for economic agreements between the Twin Sultanates and Narikaton and Darnussia.

The visit will mark the first time a Thallerid Sultan will meet with the family since Jens ascended to the throne of Barmenistan. He was notoriously cautious (perhaps comically so for a monarch of the "Thallerid" Sultanate) about highlighting his Artanian heritage. His grandsons, Intrsmor and Jemrjkai, are widely rumored to still harbor "subtle Artanian eccentricities."

The Twin Sultans will not visit Narikaton and Darnussia together - neither twin has spoken directly to the other in several years, though little is understood as to why.

[Zanz]

Twin Sultanates announce support for Jelbania despite continued residence of H'an with "harlot," call upon Vanuku to do the same

The Twin Sultans Intrsmor and Jemrjkai have released a joint statement of support for Jelbania in the face of Istalian meddling in Jelbic affairs.

The Twin Sultanates, noting the continued residence of the Jelbek H'an with the Dztek harlot rather than our esteemed noble sister, nevertheless affirm our support for our Jelbic cousins in the face of Istalian meddling. The Majatran Alliance has recently grown into a bothersome challenge to Jelbic supremacy on Majatra, and must obviously be squashed by the hordes of Barmenistan, Pontesi, Vanuku, and Jelbania before it can grow any more. We ask the Protector of the Jelbic Peoples, King Temrkai of Vanuku, to proclaim himself at the ready to counter any Istalian interference in the Jelbek H'an's rightful claim to the Czardom of Deltaria. Barmenistan, of course, will do the same.

[Zanz]

Ahmadi Sultan claims Selucian fires are result of "godlessness"

The nation of Selucia, recently plaguedby a rashof wildfires that have killed more than 50 people, "brought [those] fire[s] upon itself" according to the Ahmadi Sultan Intrsmor.

"The government of Selucia, so critical of the Twin Sultanates in the past for our beliefs, has certainly brought fire upon itself by restricting religious freedom and imposing state atheism upon its populace. Akim is all knowing, and punishes His enemies."

The Ahmadi Sultan was speaking at a conference of imams in Sekhmet when the comment was made. No response has yet been received from a representative of the Selucian government.

[Aethan]

Selucian Government answers Barmenia

[Zanz]

Son of late H'an alive, well in Barmenistan

The late H'an of Jelbania, killed by a Thaller in single combat, was rightfully married to Shba Irtsmai of Barmenistan. Though the couple was estranged and the late H'an disrespected her deeply by taking up residence with a Dztek harlot, the H'an did visit the Shba Irtsmai for one marital encounter, according to spokemen for the Ahmadi and Felinist Sultanates, and Shba Irtsmai conceived a boy. That boy, Jns Jrl-Banmek-Sntazed, aged only three and now rightfully the heir to the Jelbek throne, is alive and well in Barmenistan.


Jns Jrl-Banmek-Sntazed, who the Twin Sultans of Barmenistan claim is the rightful heir to Jelbania

Though there is no corroborating evidence that Jns was either born by the H'an or, indeed, even by the Shba Irtsmai, the claim of the Twin Sultans is sufficient for many in Barmenistan who have shared in the outrage of the Jrl-Banmek-Sntazed family at the slight done to them by the H'an when he refused to honor the marriage pact arranged by his mother. The Shba Irtsmai is adamant that the child was conceived in relations with the late H'an, and the Twin Sultans have sent emissaries to the Regency Council in Jelbania proclaiming the right of Jns to rule the Jelbek hordes.

[Polites]

Ruhi Cult Disintegrates
Schism breaks cult in two and will lead to its ultimate demise


Nasiba Rabban weeping at the collapse of the cult she leads

August 4292 - The False Caliph of the "Ruhi" cult, Nasiba Rabban, imprisoned by the Twin Sultans for her role in inciting treason and spreading a false theocratic cult in the Sultanate, was recently informed of the disintegration of her cult. A few months ago one of the "Apostles" of her late husband and executed cult leader Ismail Rabban, Miranda Qardajaré, found herself violating the laws of the Kingdom of Vanuku and attempting to initiate a republican uprising against the rightful King Temrkai, may Azaeran guard him and grant him a long reign. As a sign of clemency and in order to show to the world that the Twin Sultanates respect the rights of inmates and treat all lawbreakers with justice and compassion, the False Caliph was permitted to issue a letter to the National Spiritual Assembly of Vanuku in response to her cult's illegal activities.

The Barmenian Herald was permitted to publish the cult leader's letter in full, in order to present to all of Terra the inconsistencies and absurdities of the Ruhi cult and its imminent self-destruction. Surely the violation of both the cult's principles and the laws of one of its host countries by one of the highest ranking cultists is a serious embarrassment for the False Caliph, and will certainly open the eyes of the mislead Ruhis as to the totalitarian and absurd nature of the cult into which they were brought.

Fellow Laborers in the Divine Vineyard,

The seven years that have passed since the ascension of the Blessed Beauty have been years of pain, anxiety, and strain for the Cause of God and for all humanity. The friends in Barmenistan find themselves without the guidance and blessing of a Spiritual Assembly, and they have endured much hardship in the name of the Cause, for which their reward will be bountiful.

It also saddens me to hear of the troubles of the friends in Vanuku. Your sister has been informed in her place of imprisonment of the grievous violations of Ruhi laws and principles and the usurpation of the authority of the Caliphate that have placed the friends in peril. We hear that one of the Apostles of the Messiah has been imprisoned on account of her disobeying her government, assuming undue authority within the Cause, and causing disunity within the Faith. We urge the Spiritual Assembly in Vanuku to patiently and lovingly explain to our estranged sister the error of her ways and to attempt to return her to the path of the Covenant. They are to point out to her that His Holiness the Messiah did not endow the Learned, that is His Apostles, with the authority to offer authoritative interpretation of His words, which privilege rests only with the Caliphate, the center of the Covenant. The loved ones are to inform the Apostle that the Word of God enjoined all faithful to obey the laws of the government under which they find themselves, when He proclaimed to the Kings of the world "It is not Our wish to lay hands on your Kingdoms, but Our mission is to possess the hearts of men". They are to further educate this handmaiden of God that although the Exalted One urged the kings to forsake their palaces, He also praised the institution of Kingship and proclaimed its divine origin. In His Book of Knowledge His Holiness the Messiah revealed that, while a republican form of government is to the benefit of all of Terra, Kingship is one of the signs of the Majesty of God, wishing that the nations of Terra remain blessed with this sign, and praising the system of constitutional monarchy that many nations have established.

If the Apostle does not heed the loving and patient guidance from the friends in Vanuku, the National Spiritual Assembly is empowered to provide suitable punishments. She is to be deprived of her voting and administrative rights and to be prevented from attending the Nineteen Day Banquet. Care must be taken however that her civil rights are not violated, and unless she is found to violate the Covenant of the Messiah and proclaimed a Breaker of the Covenant, the friends are not to shun her.

Moreover, the loved ones in Vanuku are urged to exercise utmost caution and prudence. Explain to the friends in Vanuku that they have rent the veil too widely asunder, which will be cause of great agitation and harm to the Cause. Discourses in churches and mosques and great public gatherings are not permitted, as in this place enemies, both within and without, are lying in wait to cause harm to the loved ones. On no account let them contribute articles to newspapers and the internet, and as long as they are not certain of any soul, let them not breathe a word about the Cause.

Your sister in God's service,
Nasiba R.

[Polites]

First Ruhi Temple built in Istalia