Assembled delegates,
I urge you all not to be taken in by the attention-seeking misrepresentations being promoted by the bog-dwelling, turnip-munching, lager-swilling, yellow-toothed, foul-breathed, chicken-rustling, semi-literate, jumped-up loudmouth peasant-in-a-suit from the so-called Onglian Civil Rights Association. We in New Englia are all too familiar with this gentleman and his organisation and see right through what they are doing.
We are also aware, as some here are not, that the so-called Onglian Civil Rights Association is a front organisation for the illegal terrorist group, the Onglian Liberation Army, which seeks the complete destruction of our society. Unfortunately, although perhaps understandably, foreign observers are not always able to see through the deceptions so easily, and this can cause a great deal of misunderstanding.
Istalia and
Beiteynu have already been duped and are over-reacting. We regard both of these nations as our friends, and hope they will listen to reason and reconsider their proposed courses of action.
When Laighneach Mac Connmhaigh - or however it is you pronounce his uncouth and unpronounceable name - comes to this august chamber and relays his tall tales of supposed Onglian victimhood, he leaves out almost the entirety of the context behind the situation he is describing.
The context, as many of my learned and civilised friends here will understand, is that when the territory now known as New Englia was first colonised in the 2340s, the people who lived here - the Onglians - were the most primitive and barbaric people on the face of Terra, and in fact probably the most primitive and barbaric people who ever existed. They were so backward they had hardly any mastery of agriculture, which meant starvation was rampant. Worse, their savage natures, fuelled by their passion for strong alcohol, meant tribal wars were never-ending. They were not content just with killing each other; they were torturing and then killing each other as well, believing the screams of agony and the sacrifice of human life would appease their pagan gods and bring them better fortune. In the winter months, they traditionally ate someone for dinner - usually a child. The institution of marriage was unknown to them. They just had sex all over the place with whoever they felt like whenever they felt like it. This was often in full public view, and even in front of young children.
If anybody here doubts the veracity of this, I can point them to the writings of the first Hosian missionaries and civilised settlers. We are talking here about historical fact. Liberal revisionists try to deny it and rewrite history, but the truth is the truth.
But my friends, here is the good news - the fantastic news! After 2000 years of Inglian tutelage, the Onglians have been raised to a much, much higher level of civilisation than they were at before. Their lives are no longer marred by starvation, tribal wars, cannibalism, human sacrifice and all of the bad old ways.
Our liberal opponents claim we hate our Onglians and do not care for them. But my friends, this is not true at all. We love our Onglians, and we love them more than anyone else here does. This is why we have tutored them and raised them above their former savage state and brought them to a stage of civilisational development which even a few centuries ago, nobody would have dreamed was possible.
We are proud of our Onglians, and we are right to be proud, because we have the happiest primitives, the happiest Onglians on the face of the planet. There is nowhere better to be an Onglian than New Englia, and if you talk to the ordinary Onglians in this country, they will tell you exactly the same thing as well. I am not talking here about gentlemen like Laig-whatsisname, the professional loudmouth troublemakers who are funded and controlled by communists and misguided wishy-washy liberals from abroad. I am talking about the real, ordrinary Onglians who go about their lives peacefully, meaningfully, productively and happily.
My friends, it is a myth to suggest that the Onglians are being somehow held back or persecuted in New Englia. Rather, what has happened is that we have developed an effective system of allowing the two peoples, the civilised and the primitives, the Inglians and the Onglians, to develop in their two separate ways. Separate development, my friends, is essential to allowing both the Inglians and the Onglians to reach their maximum potential, to enjoy the maximum amount of freedom and to live side-by-side with each other in harmony.
Without separate development, we would have chaos. If we handed over the levers of government to the Onglian majority, we would wipe out at a stroke two millennia of progress and achievement. It would be like evicting highly-trained professional engineers and scientists from a nuclear power station and then putting a class of 8 year old schoolgirls in charge.
Terra needs to understand, as both Inglians and Onglians in New Englia understand, that the key to our nation's success is our way of doing things. Our way of doing things may be distasteful to the ideological sensibilities of some of our friends overseas, but that does not mean either that it is wrong or that it is inhumane. Rather than misunderstanding and condemning us, the rest of the world - the civilised part of it at least - should be recognising, celebrating and learning from our achievements.
New Englia earnestly looks forward to the day when the whole of the Onglian people will rise to a level of civilisational development that matches that of the Inglians. When that day comes, there will be an equal sharing of political power. But we are a long way off yet. The Onglians have come far, but not far enough yet for that. It will probably take another 2000 years of development before they are ready to become our equals.
Let me emphasise also, by the way, that the franchise in New Englia is not restricted by race or religion. Every citizen has access to the franchise on equal terms. As soon as a citizen has reached a certain level of income, or reached a certain level of education, they become eligible to vote. At the moment, 5% of Onglians can vote. This is a significant achievement - fifty years ago it was 0.5%. In time, with the natural course of events, it will grow higher still.
In short, my friends, "equality" - to use that often misunderstood phrase - will come to New Englia, but if it is to develop in a meaningful way, it can only come in a way which is natural. Any attempt to forcibly impose so-called "equality" between Onglians and Inglians in this country would totally destroy the moral and social foundation upon which our entire society is built. Any informed and responsible person who truly understands and loves New Englia would shudder to contemplate what the consequences of that would be.