Kalopikí in chaos - Kalopian Regime Coalition disbands - Gerousía emptied - Autorkrator's fate unknownby Michaelis AuristakisThe streets of Polykratos are in turmoil. The Kalopians are out and rioting. There is no functioning police, no functioning military to stop them - instead, since there is no power behind the ministries anymore, they seem either to have joined the rioters, or to have formed their own groups, securing vital and financially rich sectors in order to establish something that no doubt will be a regime of terror and brutality. Thousands die every day, more than under the hardest days of the dictatorship. But how could this happen? How could Kalopikí turn from a iron-fist-ruled autocracy into this chaotic anarchist survival of the fittest - state that it has become in just a few days?
Not five days ago, the unthinkable happened. When the cleaning lady, due to the relaxed habit of the ruling party - the only party with seats in the Gerousía - , Theresia Soufflakis, entered the building that houses both the Gerousía and the ministries, she immediatly felt, that something was not right - at all!
Theresia Soufflakis "Well, it was quite unusual", Theresia remembers, chewing an old chewing gum with her yellow and slightly rotten teeth, "normally, when I enter that building, I can hear the voices of some people in there, you know, secretaries, security officers, political dissidents being tortured in the cellars, that whole lot. But this day was different. It was different in two ways. First and foremost because this day was the exact same day, only ten years later, that my husband, poor Diodokles, died of his hunchback. The vet had been lying to us that this would be a benign one, but I can distinctly remember how Diodokles said to me, 'Theresia', he said, 'me hunchback's hurtin' - I was better be going to drink some'. Yes, this were his exact words, and then he went out to go to his usual Ouzo-Bar. One hour later, the neighbour's daughter, Cassiopeia, I know, it's a horrible name, they are a horrible lot anyway - you won't publish this in your paper, Mr. journalist, will you? - comes into my kitchen, pats me on my back, and tells me, that my Diodokles has been found dead in the gutter. It was quite a shock, I can tell you that. Well, that was the first thing. The second way in which this day was different, was that I heard no voices. The whole building was completely silent. At first I thought 'Well, it must be a holiday, then', but then I remembered that the Autokrator - may he prosper infinitely - had declared all holidays illegal. So I went inside, mopping up a bit of dirt right at the entrance. I got more suspicious, when it became about one o'clock pm, and there were still no politicians arriving. So, at two pm., I decided to go to the nearest police station, and I told the nice officer there that the Gerousía seemed to be empty."
Regrettably, the nice officer is now self-styled "Almighty proprietor of carbon-based goods", as soon after the disappearance of the regime he took his unit and occupied the nearest factory, which is producing the plastic lids people can put on their drinks so they don't spill anything while driving a car, apparently also using carbon in the process, and so he was not approachable. What he found though was delivered to us in form of a tape he recorded with his dictating machine, while examining the building.
The dictating machine"17:16. Arrived at Gerousía building. Was sent by old cleaning lady with unnerving habit of talking about dead husband. Must investigate later, possibly treason. Door open - suspicious. Must be careful, otherwise Leutenant will have my ass. Strike ass from recording. Entered hallway. Interesting carpet, nice pictures of landscapes and people dressed in folkloristic attire. Like the style. Particularily fond of picture of people dancing in cirkle."
"17:21. Reached door at end of hallway. Now entering stairway. Stairs are leading up and down. Choosing to go up. Advancing with proper care in order not to fall - mustn't damage dictating machine, otherwise Lieutenant will have my ass. Delete ass from recording. Note to myself - dust the handrail for fingerprints later, saw that in TV once, solved a case by doing so. Similar pictures in stairway, different carpet - suspicious."
"17:23. Nearly slipped on carpet - difficult to talk into this thing and climb stairs at the same time - must be more careful. Lieutenant might have my ass for this. Ass has to go off the recording. Door appears in vision, labeled 'Gerousía'. Probably entrance to Gerousía, could be a trap. Would draw weapon if not holding this dicating machine. If dead later, tell wife of love. Tell her if she ever marries again, I'll haunt. Her, that is."
"18:30. Unbelievable. Searched whole building. Nobody here. Everybody gone. No ministers, no party members, no officials, no guards, no cleaning ladies, no political dissidents being tortured, not even animals like mice or lice. Rhyme has comforted my nerves, calmer now. Must remain calm, or Lieutenant will have my ass. Although..."
This seems to be when the police officer first thought of the possibilities now that the regime was vanished. Apparently, the Lieutenant is now either dead or deceased, sources were unclear.
Later, bigger searches showed indeed, that everyone had vanished. Indeed, not only the Gerousía building was found empty, also the politicians homes. The Autokrat's residence is sealed shut, there are talks about guards, but what could be guards could be as well suspiciously shaped hedges or indeed statues of half or completely nude ancient Goddesses. In the meantime, the country has become the living hell. At this moment, there are already seventy-four military or paramilitary districts, most of them in war with every other district and the rest of the country. Most higher brass has taken their favourite unit and seized the opportunity to occupy important centres of the country. Water, electricity, gas, food stores, are all in the hand of armed renegades. Public traffic has broken down immediatly - apparently, as some witnesses claim, even two days before the regime vanished - and private traffic is a mess, as private cars had been outlawed some years ago.
Who will emerge from this catastrophe? Who will be the next leader? Several point to the Antónios Anthropophagus Collective, completely forgetting that this "party" does not have any members of their own - now that the regime is gone, who will they corrupt? Will they seize power nevertheless, as some might suspect? Who could say. Certainly not this reporter, or any other citizen who wouldn't want to give future powers a reason not to like them. And what happened to the Autokrat? To this time, nobody dared enter his mansion, as there have always been rumors of an ancient curse that transforms anybody tresspassing into swine - and that the mansion's security system is called Circe2000 does not help too. But regardless what happens next to this country, you will be able to read it here, at the Apellas Kalopian Telegraph, courtesy of his majestic regency, reborn chief editor of God almighty, News deliver'd in flesh, the former General Nikólaos Peristakis.